PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 297: Is There a Better Word Than “Kids”? Part 1

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 297: Is There a Better Word Than “Kids”? Part 1

If you’re in the groove, you most probably call them kids, without even thinking. It’s the norm and we all gravitate to the norm. But is it the best word? Check out this podcast.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies, and teens, and children. Maybe husbands! Here we are together again, and we’re continuing to talk about our words. You will remember the last two podcasts I talked about all the positive words that we should be speaking in our homes. That was such a good thing to talk about. Great to talk about the positive, isn’t it? If we could fill our homes with all these positive words, wow! They would be homes that would be filled with the blessing of the Lord. If you didn’t get to hear them, go back and listen to those two podcasts.

Today I want to get on to something very interesting about some words we speak in our homes, but before I do, I want to speak about some negative words. I don’t really like speaking about negative words, but God put warnings in His Word about negative words, so we can’t just let them go by. We’ve got to read them as well because they keep us from going down that road of speaking these negative words.

Now here are a few warnings that God has given us regarding our words.

Psalm 34:12-14: “What man is he that desireth life, and loveth many days, that he may see good? Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.” Those same words there in the Old Testament are repeated again in the New Testament in 1 Peter 3:10-11. We get it in the Old and we get it in the New. A double banger.

Proverbs 10:19: “In the multitude of words, there wanteth not sin. But he that refraineth his lips is wise.” My, that Scripture has always been such a challenge to me. I find that the more you hang out and talk, and talk about sometimes hardly anything worthwhile, the more you talk, the more likelihood there is of saying the wrong thing, and of sinning. I think we do have to be careful about watching our words. Oh, how the psalmist prayed, “Put a watch, O Lord, on the door of my lips!” (Psalm 14:3). Oh, isn’t it scary what comes out of our lips? Sometimes we cannot even believe it ourselves, can we?

That’s King James language. Let me give you that Scripture in some other translations. The Berean Study Bible: “When words are many, sin is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.”

The Living Bible: oh, this is pretty good: “Don’t talk so much. You keep putting your foot in your mouth. Be sensible, and turn off the flow.” I think that’s a pretty good warning, isn’t it?

We have to watch, especially if we’re just hanging out, chatting, talking about anything and everything, that we don’t go down the wrong path. Sometimes we can start talking about people, talking about their negatives. One person says a negative, then another person says a negative.

By the way, I have found this out, and it truly works. When you say something negative about something or someone, you’ll find that other people who you’re talking to will begin to add another negative. And then someone will also add another negative, and it just gets worse and worse.

I noticed this. I thought, “Wow, I’m going to try a little experiment.” So, I also thought, If you say something positive about someone, say a good point about them, it’s amazing. You’ll find that those you’re talking to will think of a good point too. Then someone else will think of a good point. So, the good points get added. We have to be careful we don’t go down the destructive path. Instead we go on an upward path. Amen?

Proverbs 21:23: “Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from trouble.”

James 1:19: “Wherefore my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” We’re so often so quick to speak, aren’t we? Oh, my. It takes a lot to learn to be slow to speak and wait to say the right thing.

James 1:26: “If any man among you seem to be religious and bridles not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain.” That whole passage in James 1 is all about the tongue. We need to read it often to keep our tongues in order.

Here are some specific warnings.

DON’T SPEAK IDLE WORDS

Don’t speak idle words. Jesus said in Matthew 12:36: “But I say unto you that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgement. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.”

What are idle words? The word is argos in the Greek. It means “useless, lazy, worthless, careless.” Some other translations: The Amplified says, “Inoperative non-working words.” When it’s talking about someone, it’s talking about a lazy person who doesn’t do anything worthwhile. When it’s talking about our speech, it’s about, OK, we’re saying junk. It’s nothing that’s worthwhile. It’s really just a lot of waste of time.

Oh, and how many times do we speak those kinds of words? And yet, the Bible here says, in fact, Jesus Himself said that we’re going to give an account for every idle word. Oh, I’m constantly having to come before the Lord and confess words that I have spoken, and plead the blood of Jesus.

How wonderful that when we do sin, even with our lips, that we have an advocate with the Father. Jesus Christ His Son. And we can come to Him and confess our sins. What does it say? 1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” And He will forgive. How wonderful that we have the blood of Jesus!

DON’T TELL LIES

I’m only giving you just a few Scriptures of the many on these subjects.

Leviticus 19:11, in the chapter on the laws of holiness it says: “You shall not steal, neither deal falsely, neither lie one to another.”

Proverbs 12:19 & 22: “The lips of truth shall be established forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment. Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but they that deal truly are His delight.”

Not only do we have to watch our own lips that no lying words come out of our lips, but we have to watch this with our children too, don’t we? Children are very prone to lying. They often lie to get out of discipline. When you ask them, “Now, who did this? Did you take that cookie out of the pantry?” “Well, no, Mommy, I didn’t!” They don’t want to have any discipline and they will lie so easily.

But, my, we have to watch out for those lies, because lying can become a habit. There are many people who lie. I know people who lie, and I don’t even believe half what they say because lying is part of their life. It’s become a habit of their lives. We’ve got to break that habit while they are young.

I think I’ve shared with you before, in training our children, I had to decide what would I do? Because children being children, they’re doing stupid things most of the day. I could be a yelling mother all day long. I had to choose. I decided that I was going to let go little childish things—when they knocked over stools, and knocked over this, they didn’t mean to. You’ve got to watch. You don’t get worked up or angry about little stuff like that but to be aware of the important things. When they disobey, when they rebel, when they lie, we’ve got to deal with those things very diligently so that they realize they are against the Lord, and they are an abomination, the Bible says. We must deal and discipline for lying so our children will get out of that habit. Never let lies go. Amen?

Here are a few Scriptures.

Proverbs 19:5: “He that seeketh lies shall not escape.”

Colossians 3:9: “Lie not one to another. Seeing that ye have put off the old man, and have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge.” That is talking about the old and the new man When we lie, we are giving into the old man, our old nature, the unredeemed nature.

But we have to yield to the new man, to that new creation which is in us. When we receive Christ, He comes into our lives and He is in us. This is the new man, and He is holiness. He is truth. He is love. He is kindness. He is righteousness, and when we are tempted to lie, we must yield to the new man which does not lie.

DON’T SPEEK FOOLISH WORDS

Proverbs 10: 8 & 10 repeat it: “The wise person accepts instruction, but the one who speaks foolishness will come to rue it.”

Let’s go to the New Testament. Ephesians 5:3-5: “But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.”

So, what it’s saying here, not only should such things as fornication never ever once be named amongst the saints. Sadly, it does happen, even in churches today but it should not, according the Word of God, be even named amongst the saints. It goes on to say it is the same with foolish talking and jesting. It should not even be named amongst the saints.

I’m not thinking this up, ladies. This is the Word of God. I’m sure, like me, you want to live by the Word.

What does Matthew 4:4 say? “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.”

This is the way I want to live, by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God, and which has been given to us in this eternal word, this Bible which we have. It is a treasure! It is our life! Every word is life to us. Every word keeps us on the right path.

I want to take hold of every word, especially in this deceived day in which we live when people do not know the Word, so they’re not living by the Word. They’re really just living by the way of the world. But we need this Word, don’t we, to get to us to keep us on the right track.

DON’T GOSSIP

Proverbs 11:13: “A talebearer reveals secrets, but he that is of the faithful spirit concealeth the matter.” It’s repeated again in verse 19. It wasn’t enough to put it in once. God put it in twice.

Proverbs 20:20: “When no wood is, the fire goes out. Where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.”

DON’T BE A FALSE WITNESS

That’s right back in the Ten Commandments, isn’t it? One of the Ten Commandments in Exodus 20:16: “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” That’s actually a little bit like talebearing, isn’t it?

Just know that when you hear something, half the time you don’t even know whether it’s really true. But then you pass it on to someone else, and then it gets passed on to someone else. Then that gets passed on to someone else, and you know what happens? The story changes every time.

Have you been in a room? Sometimes we play this game at parties. You whisper a sentence to the person next to you. Then they whisper it to the next person. Then they whisper to the next person until you get around to the very end. Then the last person shares what the sentence is.

Well, it’s unbelievable, because the last person sharing is never anything like the sentence started. It just gradually changed around as people got a different word wrong. It was completely different. It’s quite hilarious. It’s worth playing that game just to see how easily truth or lies can be changed in speaking from one to the other.

So, more Scriptures. Exodus 23:1: “Thou shalt not raise a false report. Put not thine hand with the wicked, to be an unrighteous witness.”

Leviticus 19:16: “Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people.”

Proverbs 19:5, repeated again in verse 9: “A false witness shall not be unpunished.”

DON’T SPEAK RASH WORDS

Proverbs 12:18: “Speaking rashly is like a piercing sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

The New English Translation says: “Speaking recklessly (and then the commentary of that translation says (rashly or thoughtlessly) is like the thrust of the sword, but the words of the wise bring healing.”

DON’T SPEAK CORRUPT WORDS

Ephesians 4:29: “You must let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth.”

DON’T CURSE

Leviticus 20:9: “For everyone that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death. He that curses his father or his mother, his blood shall be upon him.”

Proverbs 20:20: “Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.”

Wow, that seems a terrible retribution for that sin, but do you know what?

Ladies, it’s not just in the Old Testament. It’s in the New as well, in Matthew 15:4: “Honor thy father and mother. He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.” Wow! That’s not the Old Testament, ladies. That’s the New Testament.

Sometimes you hear mothers even cursing their children. You have heard some mothers yelling and screaming at their children in the supermarket. Isn’t it horrific? Some do it to their husbands. Help! But here in the Word of God it says that if someone does it to their father or mother, help! Look out!

Those were just a few. There are many more. Just a few warnings that God gives us in the Scriptures about our tongues that we need to be, I don’t say encouraged, but help to keep ourselves on the right track, even in our homes, in what we say to our children and what we say to our husbands.

WHAT DO YOU CALL YOUR CHILDREN?

But now, I want to talk about another word. This is a word that I think most of us say every day. It’s what we call our children. What do you call your children? I hear most people calling their children their “kids.” Just about everybody calls their children their “kids.” It’s the most common word in our society today.

But did you know, ladies, that wasn’t always the case? You don’t find the word “kids” regarding children in the Bible. In fact, if you go back to the 1828 Webster’s Dictionary, you will not find the word “kids” there to mean a word for “children.” It has been added in later years, but it was not there originally. I don’t believe that it is the word that we are meant to call our children.

Why do I think that? I have to say, of course, that when I first started having our children that I began to call them “kids” like everybody else, because that’s what everybody else called them. It just shows you how we’re all like sheep who follow the other sheep. We just do what everybody else is doing. In society we say what everybody else is saying.

That’s why we have to watch that. Is what we are saying, what we are doing, according to the Word of God? We have to constantly measure ourselves up with the plumbline of God’s Word.

Well, what set me off on a different track was that many, many years ago I read an article about a sheep farmer in New Zealand. Now, I am originally a New Zealander. I come from New Zealand. We are now US citizens here in the USA. We are so blessed to be here.

But when we left the shores of New Zealand we didn’t come straight to the USA. We went to Australia, and we were there for ten years, pastoring a church there before we came to the States. But I was in Australia when I read this article. It was about a farmer who had diversified from raising sheep, because in New Zealand, sheep farming is so prevalent. We have more sheep than people. There are thousands of sheep feeding on the hillsides of New Zealand.

But this sheep farmer diversified into raising goats as well. He wrote in this article that he noticed a very interesting thing. The ewes, that’s the mother sheep, remain close to their little lambs, but he noticed that the goats would herd their little kids together, maybe on a little knoll of a hill, and they’d leave them for quite a few hours, and go off and forage for food. They didn’t provide that same attention that the sheep gave to their offspring.

When I read that, something began to tick over in my mind. I thought, “Wow! This is interesting. But before I get too carried away, I’d better check it out a bit more.” So, I thought I’d talk to my father. My father has now passed away, but he was the fastest shearer in the world in his time. He was the world champion sheep-shearer. He shore over a million sheep in his lifetime. He certainly knew a lot about sheep.

So, I said to my father, “Is this true?” And he said, “Of course, Nancy. A sheep will never go any further than earshot from its little lamb, but it’s true, goats will leave their little kids, even for hours.” I began to see. Yes! This is why we now call our children “kids”! Because mothers have become goat mothers. What are kids? They are baby goats.

Today, most mothers get up in the morning and they take their little kids and they put them in daycare, or maybe even with grandparents, or with a friend, or somewhere while they go off and do their career or go out to their job. What they are doing is being goat mothers. A sheep mother, an ewe, will never go any further than earshot from her little lambs.

I remember one time, being back in New Zealand, flying back from the USA. Often, I loved to take a few photos of sheep to bring back here to show people, because the US is not a sheep country. We are a beef country here.

One of the reasons, of course, back in New Zealand that we can be a sheep country is that we have no predators. Did you know that in New Zealand there are no predators at all? Our sheep can be safe out there on the grass and the hillsides. There are no wolves. There is no animal coming to tear them to pieces, so they live in safety and security. Here, if people have sheep, they have to have certain dogs or something to protect them very much.

I was back in New Zealand, and I was walking over the fields, the “paddocks” we call them there, with my father. I saw this beautiful little lamb that had just been born. I wanted to get up close to take a picture. As I did, of course the mother ewe was very scared of me, and she began to run away. But she stopped, because her little lamb! Although she was still scared of me, she went back to her little lamb, to be there to protect her little lamb.

This is opposite to the goats. I actually had a letter from a woman. Yes, this was another farmer’s wife in New Zealand. She wrote to me, and she said (it wasn’t the same one who I first read about, but this was another lady):

“Over many years, we have raised lambs on our land. Indeed, the sheep are wonderful mothers. This year, for the first time, we had goats and baby kids. One Sunday, as we drove in the front gate, we heard a loud bleating, and stopped to check. On top of the hill were young twins, brown and white, but no mother anywhere at all! My eight-year-old was so worried and he kept going back to check. After about two hours, they were cold and getting weaker, so we heated bricks and wrapped them in newspaper. We went to warm them and feed these little orphans. We thought the mother had completely disappeared. When we arrived, there, to our amazement, was the mother! She was not dead after all but had simply gone off to feed and left her little kids. She must have continued this neglect, because not long after, the little white kid was taken by a fox.”

This is goat mothering. Goat mothers tend to leave their little kids, but if we’re sheep mothers, we won’t want to leave our little children. I actually heard from another mother too. She was from Australia. She also wrote to me. This lady shared that they were out in Australia, and they used to hunt wild goats for living in the outback of New South Wales. She said that she observed many times that in the face of danger, the nanny goat would leave her little kids unprotected, and run from danger to save herself! She didn’t stay by her little kids.

She also noticed that the goats were cowards and would give up easily. When they caught the goats live, these wild goats, they would turn them over onto their backs. She said the goats didn’t struggle. Their eight-year-old daughter was able to put a foot on the goat’s neck and wait until they came to tie it up.

So, we see the difference between the goats and the sheep. But this, this is where I really got convicted, was when I went to the Word of God. Of course, we know that of all the animals in the whole of the world, what does God call us? He calls us His sheep. He calls us His lambs. We are the sheep of His pasture.

Psalm 79:13: “We Thy people, and the sheep of Thy pasture, will give Thee thanks forever.”

Psalm 100:3: “We are the people of His pasture, and the sheep of His hand.”

Isaiah 53:6: “We all like sheep have gone astray and have turned every one to his own way.”

John 10 is the chapter about Jesus being the Shepherd. He says: “He calleth His own sheep by name, and leadeth them out. He goeth before them, and the sheep follow Him, for they know His voice.”

But, OK, we’re getting to the Scripture where I really got convicted. Matthew 25. You can read the whole passage from verses 31 to 46. But I’ll just read you a little bit. “When the Son of Man shall come in His glory, and all the holy angels with Him, then shall He sit upon the throne of His glory, and before Him shall be gathered all nations. He shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divided his sheep from the goats. He shall set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left.”

I’ve actually written that Scripture out to give you, but I want to go to it in my Bible because it’s very powerful. Matthew 25: “Then shall the king say unto them on his right hand,” remember that’s the sheep on His right hand, “Come, be blessed of my father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.” But then we go to the last Scripture, and it talks about oats, it says: “These shall go away into everlasting punishment, but the righteous into life eternal.”

We see here how God likens His people to be sheep. He separates them. They go to the right and they are the ones who will enter into His everlasting kingdom. The goats are those who don’t know Him and they go to the left, into as the Bible says, “everlasting punishment.”

As I read that Scripture, I thought, “Wow! I don’t want to be aligned with the goat company because that’s goat mothering.” I decided I was going to kick the habit of calling my children “kids.” I didn’t want to belong to that company at all. Actually, I did . . . I cold-turkey kicked the habit.

I was listening the other day to my daughters’ podcast, Serene and Pearl, who do the Trim Healthy Mama podcast. They were doing one about the power of how you can learn things far more by play than you can just by rigid routine. It was rather interesting. They quoted this quote which says, “Now, what we know,” this was given by a Dr. Purvis. “Now what we know from research is that it takes 400 repetitions of an act or a learning skill, 400 times, to get one new synapse. Or would you like to know an option? There is an option. Twelve repetitions with joy and laughter, and you get a synapse, because there’s a release of a chemical, dopamine.”

That’s interesting. When you’re trying to learn something new and get it to be part of your life so you don’t have to think about it, so it just becomes part of your life, they say it can take up to 400 repetitions.

But if you do it with joy and laughter and song, it only takes 12 repetitions. That’s amazing. I think that is why children learn so much in their early years because they play, and they’re happy, and they’re laughing.

So, dear lovely ladies, I’m giving you the challenge. Would you like to also kick the habit of saying “kids”? Because you’re aligning with the goat mothers and you’re putting your children in that category of goats as well. We’ll look into a little bit later more of the character of the goats and the sheep.

I’m amazed. I’ve shared this with many people, and I find they still keep saying “kids.” Maybe they haven’t tried 400 times yet. But I was thinking, after listening to the girls, maybe you have to think of a joyful way of doing it. Maybe you’ll have to think up a song, perhaps.

When you call your children “kids,” you remember. Have a little song, a little ditty that you’ve made up about how you’re calling your children “children,” You’re no longer a goat mother, or something. Make it into a little tune. Laugh and sing. Maybe you’ll only have to do it 12 times! And you will have kicked the habit!

I remember one time I had been to Singapore, and I had shared this truth with the folks there in Singapore. Then Colin and I were returning for return meetings another year. The folks were there at the airport to meet us. As we walked off the plane, they all greeted us. You know what they said? Well, they didn’t really even say anything. They all went, “Maaaaa-aaa!” They had remembered what I had told them.

Another time, I was speaking to some ladies in Australia, in Brisbane, Australia. I shared again this truth of changing their vocabs from calling their children “kids” to something that is far better. We’ll talk about that in the next session. I shared it with them and went back home.

Sometime later I was asked to go and speak with them again. And as I arrived, these mothers came down the path to greet me. They said, “Nancy! Thank you for what you shared with us last time. It’s totally changed our lives, and our mothering!” Actually, I’d forgotten what I had shared. I said, “What was it?” “You know,” they said. “You know how you told us to call our little children our little lambs instead of our kids?” One of these mothers shared with me. She said, “It has revolutionized my mothering.”

Because these women had come from a very, very hard life. They’d been dragged up. They were in a community. This pastor and his wife were reaching out to these people in a very, very, how do I describe it? They’d been dragged up. They’d been through incredible, terrible things. These mothers were pretty tough and hard. But when they took on . . . they listened to me, they actually received it.

Instead of just calling their children kids, and most probably many other very negative names, they started to call their little ones their lambs. It brought a softness to them. It took away the hardness. Do you notice, even an old shepherd, and he’s carrying a little lamb on his shoulders, he becomes so gentle. There’s something about little lambs, even saying the word. You see, that’s what mothers used to do, before the word “kids” came in, they used to call them their little lambies, or their lambkins. Now it’s “kids.”

Time has gone. I’m giving you the challenge. Hope you can do it!

“Lord God, we thank You so much again for Your wonderful Word. I pray that the mothers here, who are listening today, will take up this challenge, because it’s no light thing. Lord, every word we speak has power. So, I pray that You will give them this wonderful urge to change their wording, Lord, and to kick this habit. In the Name of Jesus. Amen.”

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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Transcribed by Darlene Norris * This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Tell other wives and mothers about these podcasts and transcripts!

The following are two poems which I have written for children about speaking the truth. You may like to get your children to memorize these poems.

ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH

Here’s a secret for the girl and boy,

Who wants to live a life of joy -

ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH!

When you tell a lie you please the devil,

He’s the father of lies and wants you a rebel -

ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH!

Do not try to cover the mess you’re in,

By telling a lie God says is sin -

ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH!

Every lie you tell makes matters worse,

It leads to another and becomes a curse -

ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH!

Confess the truth although hard to do,

It’s the way to go and God will bless you -
ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH!

There are no liars in heaven, did you know?

Stop telling them now - it’s the way to go!

ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH.

Break the habit of lies while in your youth,

To follow God you must speak the truth -

ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH!

And here’s another one:

WHO IS WISE?

Who is brave and very wise,

And deserves to get a prize?

The one who tells the truth!

Who can lift their head up high,

And does not need to hide and cry?

The one who tells the truth!

Who can smile with open face,

And never bring himself disgrace?

The one who tells the truth!

Who will grow up straight and true,

And be successful in all they do?

The one who tells the truth!

PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 296: The Words We Speak -- Part 2

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 296: The Words We Speak -- Part 2

The words we speak are our most powerful building or destroying tool. We continue talking today about the kinds of words that will make our homes HOME SWEET HOME.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! Back to speaking about the words we speak in our homes. We are talking about the different words, positive words, that God wants us to have coming out of our mouths.

We’re up to . . .

No. 16. HEALING WORDS

This is a beautiful one. Actually, God wants us to build healing homes. Our homes are meant to be places of healing.

A while back, I found a most interesting Scripture, Luke 12:42. It was a parable: “And the Lord said, Who then is that faithful and wise steward, whom his lord shall make ruler over his household, to give them their portion of meat in due season? Blessed is that servant, whom his lord when he cometh shall find so doing.”

It’s talking about this man who rules over his household. In the New Testament, the word that is usually used to describe a home or a family is the word oikos or oikia. But this time, when it says “household,” it has a different word. The Greek word is therapeia, which means “to give care, especially medical care; domestic, healing.” It’s a word that means healing. It’s talking about a household. Here it’s talking about a healing household.

Of course, you can see where therapeia comes from. We get the word “therapeutic,” to heal. Really, as mothers, we are healing therapists. We shouldn’t have to be going off to counselors. We should be healing therapists ourselves, healing therapists to our husbands, and healing therapists to our children.

This same word, the noun, actually, is used in times where it spoke of Jesus healing.

Luke 9:11: Jesus “spake unto them of the kingdom of God, and healed them that had need of healing.” Yes, whatever need of healing they had; it may have been physical healing, mental healing, emotional healing. But Jesus healed all those “that had need of healing.”

Matthew 9:35: “And Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people.”

Luke 4:40: “Now when the sun was setting, all they that had any sick with diverse diseases brought them unto Him; and He laid his hands on every one of them, and healed them.”

God wants our homes to be healing homes. Healing for the body, healing for the soul, healing for the mind; just bringing healing, because every one of us are all facing things. We face issues and we face relationships. There are often hurts, and this and that. Therefore, there is always a need for healing.

Let me give you some Scriptures.

Proverbs 13:17: “A faithful ambassador is health.”

Proverbs 7:22 in the Good News Bible says: “Being cheerful keeps you healthy. It is slow death to be gloomy all the time.” I love that Scripture. You want to be healthy? Well, keep cheerful! It’s “slow death to be gloomy all the time.”

Proverbs 15:4: “Speech that heals is like a life-giving tree.”

Proverbs 10:21: “The lips of the righteous nourish many.”

Proverbs 12:18: “Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.” So, dear wives and mothers, may you have healing words pouring out of your mouth.

No. 17. INSPIRING WORDS

No. 18. JOYFUL WORDS

Philippians 4:4: “Rejoice in the Lord always. And again, I say, rejoice!” We don’t rejoice just when everything’s going great. We learn to rejoice and be happy and cheerful and speak these kinds of words, even when things aren’t going well. Our circumstances do not determine the attitude of our heart. We are not determined by our feelings. We’re not determined by our circumstances, but the attitude of our heart and the acknowledgement that Christ dwells within us.

Colossians 1:27: “Christ in you, the hope of glory.” This is what our salvation is all about. We’re not just saved from sin and ready to go to heaven. No! Jesus died to save us from our sin, but He also died to come and indwell us by His life-giving Spirit. He wants to dwell in us.

When He comes to dwell, He comes in with who He is, His life, which is filled with joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, and all the beautiful fruits of the Holy Spirit who is in us. We do not live by circumstances, by feelings, by anything like that. We live by the truth of “Christ in you, the hope of glory.”

No. 19. KIND WORDS

The above rubies woman in Proverbs 31:26 says: “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”

Proverbs 15:4: “Kind words bring life, but cruel words crush the spirit.”

Proverbs 16:24, The New Living Translation: “Kind words are like honey; sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”

No. 20. LIFE-GIVING WORDS

Dear ladies, we are life-givers. This is who God created us to be. Adam called his wife “Eve,” because she was the mother of all living. The word “Eve” is Chavah and means “life-giver.” This is who we are. God created us to bring forth life.

We are the most blessed of all people. We are so blessed to belong to His female creation and have the privilege to bring forth life from our womb! A life which is an eternal soul, a life that is not only here for this life, but a life that will live forever!

Dear ladies, how is it that satan deceives women to not embrace their glorious role of being life-givers? There is nothing more incredible in the whole of the earth than to give life, to bring forth a life that is eternal, and that will live forever and ever! It is incredible! That’s who we are. We bring forth life.

Then from our breasts we nourish a baby with life. We give life from our very breasts, to cause this baby to grow and develop. That is amazing!

We should continue to be life-givers as we raise our children. We raise them on life-giving foods. We’re not going to be giving them dead food. We throw out of our pantries all the white sugar, and white flour, and white pasta, and white junk. No, we’re those who give life-giving foods to our families.

And, of course, we’re going to speak life-giving words, because that’s who we are. We’re life-givers! Be reminded who you are, dear ladies. You are a life-giver in your home.

You all know that Scripture in Proverbs 18:28: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Every time you open your mouth, you’re usually speaking life, or you’re speaking death. Make sure it is life.

Proverbs 10:11: “The mouth of the righteous is a well of life.”

The New Living Translation says: “The words of the godly are a life-giving fountain.”

Jesus said in John 6:63: “The words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.” Yes, amen! Be a life-giver.

No. 21. LOVING WORDS

Are you constantly reminding your husband that you love him? Do you say, “I love you,” not just once a day, but more than once a day? Make it a habit of your life to constantly remind him of your love. Never let a day go by without saying, “I love you.”

Maybe, if you haven’t said those words for a while, maybe you feel kind of embarrassed to say them again. Well, you must say them. You must get up that courage to say them. You must, even if you don’t feel like it. Say them by faith because words have such power.

Sometimes you may not feel in love with your husband. It’s nothing to do with feelings. No, it’s by faith. You just say, “I love you.” Because when you say the words, then feelings begin to happen. You don’t wait for the feelings. You speak out first.

No. 22. MERCIFUL WORDS

No. 23. NURTURING WORDS

Of course, that’s part of our whole mothering, isn’t it? We’re created to be mothers, not only physically, but innately. It is natural for us to speak nurturing words. Oh, isn’t it so sad to be in a supermarket and hear a mother scream at her children? It is so grating on the nerves. It’s the opposite of what should be coming of out the mouth of the mother which should be nurturing words.

No. 24. PEACEMAKING WORDS

Wow, we sure have to do a bit of that in our homes, don’t we?

Matthew 5:9: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.”

Romans 14:19: “Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and the things wherewith we may edify” or build up “one another.”

No. 25. POSITIVE WORDS

Oh, do you build your home with positive words? Get rid of the negatives. They only bring destruction. Positive words bring joy and life.

No. 26. PLEASANT WORDS

I love this Scripture. I memorized it as a young teen, and I love to say it: “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” Oh, yes. Fill your home with these pleasant words.

The walls of your home hear the words. They get filled up with the words that are spoken in your home, and it affects the whole atmosphere. If your home is filled with pleasant words, the atmosphere is going to be pleasant. As you speak pleasant words, your children will begin to speak pleasant words. When you hear your children speaking these nasty words, wow! Where did they get those from? They should be copying you.

Proverbs 15:26: “The words of the pure are pleasant words.”

No. 27. RECONCILNG WORDS

Sometimes you may get out of sorts with your husband or someone in your family. Well, we have to bring in the reconciling words. We can’t let things go unreconciled.

No. 28. RESPECTFUL WORDS

Dear ladies, I think this is perhaps the number one most important factor in our words, especially in our marriage relationship. Men are desperate for wanting respect, wanting reverence. They were born to receive it. When they don’t get it, they will never be the men that they’re meant to be. They’ll never be the husband that you want them to be. Men absolutely recoil when they’re not respected.

I think this has perhaps been one of my greatest challenges. I have always loved my husband and we have had the most glorious marriage of over 60 years. I think our marriage gets more glorious all the time. But I do have to confess, as I look back, there have been times, when even though I loved my husband, I didn’t respect him and revere him truly as I should.

I had to confess so much to the Lord, because we can say we love them, but husbands want more than love. They want respect. If you feel that your husband is really not toeing the line as you would like him to, you feel things aren’t what they should be, maybe it’s because he’s not feeling or getting that respect from you. Do you think you could think about this? Think how you could show him more respect, how that when you speak to him, you can show him respect.

I think my biggest guilt has been in trying to always make my husband eat the right things because he’s just a man. He loves to eat all the junk food. Of course, that really upsets me because I want to keep him healthy, because I want to keep him forever.

But then, I have often gone about it the wrong way. I tried to tell him what to do, and what he should eat, and what he shouldn’t eat. Does that help? Never ever, ever, ever. No! Because he is a man. Men are not going to be told what to do by their wives, unless he’s some kind of wimp, and he won’t be a happy wimp, either! Because men do not want to be told what to do.

Oh, I remember a terrible thing that happened. Oh, do I have to confess my sins? Well, this was way back in New Zealand days when we were raising our young family. Every year we would go for family holiday. We’d take all our extended family plus families in the church with us. We could never go for a holiday on our own. We’d end up with about 50 families, sometimes 100 families would come with us. It was always so amazing.

But I remember one time, we were packing to go. We were going up to Pauanui, one of our favorite places to go. The children decided, “Oh, can we take the TV, Dad?” I said, “No!” And I started to lay down the law. “No! We will NOT take that TV! We’re not going to have a TV on our holiday! That is disgusting! No!”

And my husband saw me laying down the law and I was telling everybody what they should do. He could not take it! So, he said, “Yes, we WILL take the TV!” We had packed the whole car. We had to take everything out. They had to repack the whole thing to fit in that TV, all because I said we were NOT going to take it!

Well, the funny thing was, we got up there, and, of course, nobody ever even touched the TV! There was too much fun just being with everybody on the beach, water skiing, doing everything they loved to do. And no one even thought of the TV.

But it was the principle. It is within men. They do not want to be told what to do by a woman. A lot of women think men should be told what to do but they don’t understand and maybe they’ll try to do that. But they will not get the best out of their marriage.

Many men are turned off because they haven’t been respected. They’ve been nagged at, and told what to do by their wives, until, really, they just can’t stand it. Maybe they put up with it. Maybe sometimes they’ll just leave. But we’ve got to change because a man has to receive respectful words.

I’m just thinking now, I wonder if I can just look it up. In the Amplified Version of Ephesians 5, it brings a wonderful message. Ephesians 5:33: “However, let each man of you without exception love his wife as being in a sense his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband, that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly.”

Wow! There’s a challenge for us, isn’t it? Yes. So, let’s speak respectful words. Let’s see if you can talk to your husband without even telling him what to do, giving him a chance to be the man God created him to be. Amen.

No. 29. THE “RE-” WORDS

Here are some “re-” words that I think are very important. Reviving, revitalizing, refreshing, repairing, re-energizing, rekindling, reclaiming, reinforcing, restoring, rebuilding, replenishing, re-creating, redeeming, rejoicing. Wow! Those are some great “re-” words to also put in your vocab in your home as you’re building your marriage and family.

No. 30. RIGHT TIMING WORDS

Oh, that is an amazing thing. Sometimes we have to wait for the right time. Do you know this? I’m sure you’ve found this. In your marriage, and even with your children, there’s always a right time. Sometimes we’ve got to seek the Lord. We maybe know what we have to say, but you just can’t say it any old time. You’ve got to know the right time to say it.

The Bible talks about this. Proverbs 15:23: “Everyone enjoys a fitting reply. It is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time.”

Proverbs 25:11: “Timely advice is lovely, like golden apples in a silver basket.” Many times, we can’t just blurt out what we want to say. We’ve got to wait until it’s the right time, the right time for the person to receive. And the right time that our attitude is right, too. We have to have our attitude right, and then it has to be the right time to speak.

No. 31. SUPPORTIVE WORDS

No. 32. SOFT WORDS

Proverbs 25:15: “By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaks the bones.” Sometimes we think, “Wow, my right words, and getting everybody into place, they’ll do the trick!” But no. It’s soft words. Sometimes there’s hardness and we wonder how we’ll get through. Well, it won’t be with hard and harsh words. It will be with soft words. Soft words break the bones.

Proverbs 15:1: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.” Did you get that? “A soft answer turns away wrath.” Turns away anger. Can you get into that habit, dear lovely wives? Just a soft answer. Maybe your husband is giving you a harsh word, but just answer with a soft answer. It has such power.

No. 33. SOOTHING WORDS

Proverbs 15:4: “A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but when it twists things, it breaks the spirit.”

No. 34. STRENGTHENING WORDS

No. 35. TENDER WORDS

No. 36. THANKFUL WORDS

Oh, do you have a thankful heart? Are you always saying, “Thank you”? I believe “Thank you” should be a big part of our vocabulary. Remember to thank your husband. Don’t just take him for granted. Thank him for the things that he does for you.

Thank him that he takes out the garbage. Well, if he doesn’t, don’t complain, but if he does, thank him. Thank him when he mows the lawn. Thank him when he does any little thing. Thank him when he helps you with the dishes. Thank him when he helps you with putting the children to bed. Oh, always have a thankful spirit towards your husband. Not just, “Oh, thanks,” but no! A real “Thank you! Thank you soooo much! I soooo appreciate it.”

And towards your children, when they do a job, when they do their chores, thank them! Don’t just take it for granted. No, thank them! Have a thankful spirit so it’s in your family. Then it becomes part of your life to thank others. You’re thanking them when you think of things that they may do, or whatever. Get a thankful spirit. Thankful words are so important.

No. 37. UPLIFTING WORDS

No. 38. WHOLESOME WORDS

Proverbs 15:4: “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life.”

1 Timothy 6:3-4: “If any man . . . consent not to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which is according to godliness; he is proud, knowing nothing.”

Wholesome words should be part of our lives, and part of our children’s lives.

No. 39. WISE WORDS

Oh, that’s so important. Here are a few Scriptures for you about this one.

Proverbs 31:26: “She openeth her mouth with wisdom.” That’s the valiant woman of Proverbs 31.

Proverbs 10:13: “Wise words come from the lips of people with understanding.”

Proverbs 10:31: “The mouth of the just brings forth wisdom.”

Proverbs 12:18: “The words of the wise bring healing.”

Proverbs 18:4: “Wise words are like deep waters. Wisdom flows from the wise like a bubbling brook.”

Proverbs 10:19: “In the multitude of words, there wanteth not sin, but he that refraineth his lips is wise.” That’s a Scripture that I have memorized and a Scripture that I constantly have to think about. Oh, ladies, it is so true. “In the multitude of words, there wanteth not sin.”

In other words, when you’re hanging out, you’re just babbling on, talking, talking, talking, usually you’ll end up saying something that is wrong. You may start talking about someone, gossiping about someone, saying something negative about someone. It just happens in loads and loads of conversation.

We do have to watch carefully, even when we get together with friends. Just watch. Remember, “In the multitude of words,” the more words you speak, the more likely it is to sin. But what does it say? “He that refraineth his lips is wise.” We have to have that wisdom upon us. Be careful what you say. It’s so easy to get pulled in.

I have found, when someone says something negative about someone, you could think of something negative yourself. My, you might even say it! And that puts the nail in the coffin even more. When people do that, even about something, there’s a negative thing. One person says a negative, and people add to that negative.

And yet the opposite can happen. I have tried this out. When you say something positive about a thing, or organization, or a person, and you say that thing, it’s amazing how someone else will add a positive too! So, the conversation becomes positive. Try that out.

My, if you see it going down the negative path, get a positive word in, because it’s amazing how we can steer conversation. Sometimes we have to even shut our mouths altogether.

Proverbs 17:27: “He that hath knowledge spareth his words, and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit.”

No. 40. NO WORDS

This is the last one I’m giving you, ladies. I’m sure there are so many more. But this one is NO WORDS because sometimes we have to shut our mouths! I think of the example of Jesus, when He was standing before Pilate, and Pilate said to Jesus, in Matthew 27:13-14: “Hearest thou not how many things they witness against Thee? And He answered him never a word; insomuch that the governor marveled greatly.” Here they were, saying all these lies about Jesus. He didn’t even stand up for Himself. He did not even open His mouth. He answered not a word.

Sometimes we can give a soft answer, but there are times when, if we can’t give a soft answer, don’t give an answer at all. Don’t say anything.

1 Peter 2:23, talking about Jesus: “Who, when He was reviled, reviled not again; when He suffered, He threatened not; but committed Himself to Him that judgeth righteously.”

So, dear ladies, there are words for you to think about. I hope you can go over these last two podcasts again and let the Holy Spirit touch your heart. Don’t forget to tell other ladies about these podcasts. Share them with your friends. Share them with others, so they, too, can be blessed and encouraged.

“Dear Father, I bring before You all those who are listening. Every wife, every mother, every daughter, I pray that You will bless them. I pray that You will fill them, Lord, with loving words, sweet words, positive words, pleasant words, cheerful words, healing words, soft words. Oh, dear Father, and sometimes, even no words.

“Give them wisdom. I pray, Lord, that You will give them, oh, such a heart of nurturing and love to speak loving words into their homes, and that, Lord, this will begin to become the pattern of their whole family. All will be speaking these beautiful words, Lord God. We ask these things in the Name of Jesus. Amen.”

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 295: The Words We Speak -- Part 1

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 295: The Words We Speak -- Part 1

Today, you are enjoying or enduring your marriage according to the words you have been speaking into it. The dynamics of your family life you are experiencing are what you have been speaking into it. What kind of words are you speaking in your home?

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! Always so great to be with you! I’m going to read again today that very, very famous passage in Titus 2. You all know it, but it’s good to read it from time to time.

Titus 2:3-5: “The older women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

Well, this passage is very much part of the Word of God. Every word in the Bible is life-breathed, God-breathed, and every word is an eternal word. There is no word that we can just lay aside, and think, “Oh, well, that doesn’t really apply to me.”

The sad thing is, that in our modern society today, there are so many women who don’t like these words very much. In fact, they are so opposite to what is actually happening, even amongst the Christian women of our society today. That’s why we do need to read them again, and to read how it ends, that if the older women are not faithful to teach these things, or the young women don’t even want to hear them, the Bible says that the Word of God will be blasphemed.

Wow! That’s strong language, isn’t it? But it’s Bible language, and sometimes I think, well, why is it such strong language? Why does the Bible say that if we, as women, don’t live this lifestyle, that we’ll blaspheme the Word of God? I believe it is because this is God’s plan for His women, His female creation, which He reveals right at the very beginning, right in the very first book of Genesis, and throughout the Word of God.

As you know, I speak on different aspects of our womanhood, and our mothering, and our homemaking in all these podcasts. I never run out of things to share, because God has given us so much in His Word. But when we refrain from living this lifestyle, when we reject it, when we think, “Oh, well, I know better, but I’ll do what I want,” well, we’re actually blaspheming God’s words.

We’re blaspheming God’s ultimate plan and design, because when we embrace His design, and we live it, well, we’re bringing glory to God. The greatest way you, as a woman, as a mother, can bring glory to God is to embrace who He created you to be as a wife, as a mother, as a homemaker, because this is His plan. Then, if we don’t, we blaspheme!

I’m actually not going to talk about all these different things today, but I wanted to read a couple of quotes. I love to go back and read commentaries on Scriptures that relate to us as women. I was reading the other day The Pulpit Commentaries. It says of theses Scriptures:

“The honor of Christianity is bound up with the faithful discharge of the simple duties of domestic life. In truth, the family is the main test of Christian virtue, as it is the distinctive feature of humanity, as ordained by God.”

Another quote:

“There is nothing more beautiful or saintly in this world than a true mother in Israel. The presiding genius of her family circle, speaking the words of love, softness, and kindness, to all within her reach.”

That’s a beautiful description. That’s what I’d like to talk about today, that last phrase, because we know the Scripture in Proverbs 14:1: “Every wise woman buildeth her house, but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”

WORDS ARE OUR GREATEST BUILDING TOOLS

I believe that one of our greatest building tools is our words. Our words are so powerful. Dear ladies, the words we speak from day to day, the words that we use in our homes, the words that we speak to our husband, to our children, are how we build our marriage, how we build our family life. As this quote finishes, “Speaking the words of love, softness, and kindness, to all within her reach.” That is a beautiful description.

Today I want to talk about our words. Are you ready for this, ladies? Because I always find, when I come to this subject, I get really convicted. In fact, even as I have been going over some of the words in Scripture about the words that we speak, I’m convicted again. Oh, goodness me! We can go from day to day, think we’re doing great, but then, when we line up with the Scriptures, well, sometimes we don’t line up, do we?

The Scriptures are so wonderful! If we didn’t have the Scriptures, we’d just be living our own lives, doing what we wanted. But when we read the Scriptures, they give us God’s picture. They give us God’s standard. We’re either going to live by God’s standards, which is theophany, or we’re going to live by our own standards, which is autonomy. So many times, we just live by our own standards.

Are you going to come with me? We’ll look at some of the Scriptures about our words. This really gets down to the tin tacks. This really gets down to how we are living daily in our lives. It all reveals itself through what comes out of our mouths.

Actually, I found, guess what? I found 40 different descriptions of positive words that God wants us to use. It’s amazing. When I come to share about a subject and I go into the Word, I can never believe how many words I find! God doesn’t leave us in the dark, does He? He gives us so much! I found 40 different descriptions of words that we should be speaking in our homes to describe the kind of words that we speak. Let’s start.

No. 1. SWEET WORDS

I want to take you first to the Song of Solomon. Why I’m doing that is because the Song of Solomon is a picture of the Bride of Christ. We can read the Song of Solomon in three different ways, actually. You can read it as a literal book, the Song between the husband and the wife.

You can read it as something that can speak to you as a wife towards your husband, and your husband towards you.

We can also read it as a description of Christ and His Bride.

It is also descriptive of God and His Bride Israel, because He also looks upon Israel as His Bride.

We can read it in many ways as we can all the Scriptures. We can read the Scriptures. We can read them on the surface, and they speak to us. Or we can go into a greater depth and understanding. There is always more and more.

In the Song of Solomon it does talk about our words. We go to Song 2:14. Here it is the Bridegroom, it is Christ, speaking. Or, if you want to read it as the husband speaking to you. “O my dove, that art in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the stairs, let me see your countenance, let me hear your voice; for sweet is your voice, and your countenance is comely.”

That word “comely,” in the King James version, is a word that means “beautiful.” Today the word “comely” doesn’t have such a great meaning. It means more homely, but the word is actually “beautiful.” Here we see the desire of Christ, our Bridegroom, how He longs to see our countenance. He longs for us to come into His presence. He longs to see our faces. He longs to hear our voices. He says: “Your voice is sweet.” Oh, wow! What an amazing description!

But, of course, dear ladies, it is easy, isn’t it, to be sweet to the Lord. Maybe you’re having your quiet time with the Lord, and you wake up in the morning, and you get your Bible. You’re going to have your time with the Lord, and you sit there. You read the Word, and it speaks to your heart.

Oh, your spirit is burning within you, and you talk to the Lord, and you commune with Him. You’re feeling so great! You’re speaking these beautiful words of worship, and love, and sweetness to the Lord for all that He is to you—your Savior, your Redeemer, your Friend, your Rock, your Fortress. He is all you need.

But isn’t it true, ladies? You can be so sweet in the presence of the Lord. Then it’s time to get breakfast for the family! And the children are coming out, and some are screaming, and others are arguing, and everything’s happening at once! You’re trying to get breakfast, and it’s just bedlam! And all of a sudden, you’re yelling and screaming! Help!

Only a few minutes before you were all so saintly and holy and sweet in the presence of the Lord. That can happen, can’t it? Because life is real, and yes, when we have all our little ones around us, motherhood is a challenge. But, of course, in the midst of this challenge, we can learn also to know the presence of the Lord.

Not just when we’re sitting all on our own with the Lord, but even in the midst of all that’s happening, and all the yelling, and everyone wanting you at once, that’s where we can learn to know His presence, even in these times. And how we can learn to speak sweetly, even in these times. Wow! Do you think you can do that? This is where the challenge is, isn’t it?

Let’s go to another Scripture in the Song of Solomon. Let’s have a look at this one. Here, the Bridegroom is speaking again. Song of Solomon 4:3: “Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is beautiful.” If we’re reading it as a husband-and-wife relationship, can your husband say that to you? “Oh, my darling, your words are so beautiful!” Wow! That’s a real challenge, isn’t it?

Then we go down to verse 11 of this chapter. Here the Bridegroom is speaking again: “Thy lips, O my spouse, drop as the honeycomb: honey and milk are under thy tongue; and the smell of thy garments is like the smell of Lebanon.” Here our heavenly Bridegroom is likening our communion with Him, and our worship with Him as the sweet dripping words.

But this should also be our relationship with our husband, so that when we’re speaking to him, we are dripping sweet words. Because what does it say? “Your lips drop like the honeycomb.” What drips out of the honeycomb? Honey, of course! And what does honey taste like, ladies? Honey tastes sweet. It's really sweet. That’s the picture of the kind of words that we should be speaking to our husbands each day.

Are you speaking sweet words? Wow! Sometimes we don’t speak sweet words. But this is what we need to get into the habit of. “Honey and milk are under thy tongue.” That means that sweetness and nourishment is coming out from under our tongues. Oh, I think you may like to go back and read those Scriptures again. They’re not there just for pretty words. They are there to give us a picture of not only the relationship with our heavenly Bridegroom, but the relationship we are to have with our husband.

Yes, our husbands on earth, where everything is also not so perfect, and they may not always say the right thing to us. Or they may even hurt us, or you’re feeling like you’re getting rubbed up the wrong way. But what is going to come out of your mouth? I can remember. I think, over the years, I have learned to speak this way more with my husband.

I have to confess I didn’t always start this way. I remember when I’d start to get up on my high horse, and my husband would say to me, “Nancy, you’ve got to speak sweet words to me!” Then, of course, what could I do? Help! I had to speak sweet words. That’s what he expected of me! That’s what he wanted from me. Can I encourage you, dear ladies? You might think, “Oh, this sounds all sloppy!” No! It is Bible, and it is beautiful, and it’s what your husband longs for. He longs for sweet words from you.

And what about your children? Not only do we determine the kind of marriage we’ll have by the words that we speak, but we’re molding our children’s lives by the words that we speak. Are we speaking to them harshly, critically, sharply? Or are you speaking sweet words? Oh, may the Holy Spirit speak to our hearts and remind us that this is how He wants us to be. This is what He wants dripping from our lips—sweet words. Amen?

No. .2. AFFIRMING WORDS

We’re going to go on to some other character traits of our words. I think I’ll now go and put them in alphabetical order. We’ll go to number two: affirming words. I’ll speak about some of them. I won’t speak about everyone, because as I said, I found 40 different characteristics. We’d be here forever if we spoke about them all.

But affirming words are very important words. How wonderful to affirm your children when they do well! So often, we’re always having to correct them because they do so many stupid things. We could be correcting them all day long!

In fact, I remember when I was raising our children. I began to think, “Oh, I’m just telling them not to do this, and do that, da dah, da dah, da dah, all the day long!” I thought, “I’ve got to work it out. I can’t do this. I can’t live like this!” So, I decided I would only correct them for that which was really rebellion, disobedience, and that which was contrary to the Word of God. But just the little things of childishness, knocking over the chair, doing this, jumping around. I would just let them go, because they were children!

You’re either going to be yelling at them all day long, and then they don’t even realize what is most important. I believe it is important that they know what is important, so that when there is rebellion, when there is disobedience, you deal with them for that. They know that they can’t get away with those things. But then, little childish things that they don’t mean to do, I would just let them go.

Then, when they do good things, oh, to affirm them! “Oh, I’m so proud of you!”

“Oh, that was so good!”

“Oh, I’m so blessed that God has given you to me!”

“You’re growing up to be such a fine boy!”

“Oh, I can’t believe you’re so obedient to whatever Mommy says! I’m so blessed!”

You affirm every good thing in their lives. Constantly affirm your children. It is so important! They will grow and blossom with your affirming words. They will cringe and bow down by your negative words to them. Be encouraged to use affirming words.

No. 3. BLESSING WORDS

I wonder if you listened to my podcast number 240, when I spoke about the Shabbat meal. If you didn’t hear that podcast, go back and listen to it.

Every Friday night, in our home, we celebrate the Shabbat meal. It is the most beautiful meal. It’s my favorite meal, my favorite time of every week in our home. It’s a blessing meal. It’s a meal where the husband blesses his wife. He tells her all the wonderful things he thinks about her. It’s also where he, as the father, blesses personally each one of his children.

It’s a very important meal. Every week, the wife in the home is blessed. Of course, she blesses her husband. Every week, the children are blessed. Oh, you’ve got to listen to the podcast! You will be so encouraged about that. Of course, you don’t have to wait for just once a week! We need to have that mentality of blessing, so we’re constantly blessing.

I’m sure many of you will, as your children go to bed at night, you will bless them as they’re going off to bed. You can’t bless your children enough! The Bible says there was a time in the Old Testament where it was the priest who did the blessing. But now, Revelation tells us that we are all kings and priests unto our God. You are a priest, and therefore you have a responsibility to bless people.

But you start with your husband and start with your children. If you can’t bless them, well, there’s not much use blessing other people! But if you start in your home, then it becomes a lifestyle, to bless others.

In fact, blessing is a wonderful key when we face things in life, when people speak against us, when they gossip about us, when they say hurtful things about us. When that happens, you don’t feel too happy, do you? I have to confess you don’t usually feel like blessing that person. But that is what the Bible says! That when people curse you, when they say things about you, when they even tell lies about you, what does the Bible say? To bless them!

It tells us this in 1 Peter 3:9 and also in Matthew 5:44 to bless them. Have you ever tried that? It really works. God’s ways work. When you bless those who have spoken against you, or reviled you, or even persecuted you, it not only releases you from being bitter towards them, but it will release them! It has the power to do such wonderful things. So, be a blessing person! Amen?

No. 4. BEAUTIFUL WORDS

No. 5. CHEERFUL WORDS

Cheerful words come from a merry heart. It’s hard to have cheerful words if your heart is not merry.

Proverbs 15:13: “A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance,” (and also helps us to say cheerful words) “But by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.”

Proverbs 17:22: “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”

There’s an interesting passage in 1 Kings 1. In verse 40, it tells us something incredibly amazing. This was when they were crowning Solomon to be king, and all the people were rejoicing. It says: “And all the people came up after him. The people piped with pipes and rejoiced with great joy, so that the earth split with the sound of them.”

Have you ever heard of such a thing in earth? In the King James it says: “And the earth rent.” If you look it up in the Hebrew, it means, “to split apart.” Wow! It was like an earthquake! Can you believe it? The sound was so powerful that it actually split the earth!

Well, that is actually the same word for a merry heart! Wow! That’s a wonderful thing to have in your home, isn’t it? That will cause you to say cheerful words. How your husband loves to hear cheerful words! Oh, he doesn’t really want to be around a negative, complaining, groaning, sad wife. Help! Nobody wants to be around us when we’re like that! Cheerfulness draws people to you.

No. 6. COMFORTING WORDS

No. 7. DELIGHTFUL WORDS

No. 8. ENCOURAGING WORDS

Oh yes, how important it is to be constantly encouraging, to make encouraging words a habit of your life! It’s sad that there are many, many people who have grown up without encouraging words. They weren’t encouraged by their parents. Therefore, it’s quite a new thing for them to learn to encourage their own children, to encourage their husband, to encourage others.

I was very blessed to be brought up in an encouraging home. My father especially, was a very encouraging man. He constantly encouraged. In fact, he encouraged me beyond what I knew I was worthy of. I think his encouragement did wonders for my life. Sometimes I look back on my childhood. I don’t think there was much to encourage there. Yet, he saw stuff that maybe nobody else saw, that only God saw. He encouraged me.

I know there is so much in life I’m even doing now that I would not be doing without his encouragement. He lifted me up to beyond where I even believed that I ever could be. That’s what encouragement does. It lifts people up to a higher plane. I believe encouragement is so important. It has to become part of our lives, dear wives and mothers, if you really want to build strong marriages and a strong family life, starting with your husband. Do you really encourage him?

You know, as the years go by in your marriage, you can get so used to one another. Sometimes faults and little things that you never saw when you fell in love, you begin to see. You get discouraged, and you no longer see this man as you once saw him. You’re no longer encouraging. Because you’re no longer encouraging, he’s getting more and more down in the dumps.

We have to lift one another up. I think it’s a very important thing to try to think of at least one encouraging thing that you can say to your husband every day, and to each of your children. Sometimes you’ve got to do something to check out whether you’re really doing it. It’s easy . . . the days go by . . . weeks go by . . . if you stop and analyze, you think, “Oh, Have I been encouraging my husband lately? Well, you can’t even think when you last encouraged him!

Here’s a little idea. You can get a little notebook, and you can write the days. Then you can write underneath your husband’s name, and then the names of each of your children. At the end of the day, just do your checklist. “Did I encourage my husband today? Wow! Help, I don’t think I did!” Well, better start thinking about what you’re going to say to him tomorrow, because you don’t want to miss out again on another day.

Each of your children. . . “Yes, Suzy, oh yes, I did encourage her. Actually, she’s so easy to encourage. But Johnny! Oh, help! Oh God, what can I encourage him about? Oh, goodness me!” And ask the Lord to help you, Ask Him to show you. Often the one who’s most difficult to encourage is the one who needs encouraging the most!

Do your checklist. Check each one, and put a cross if you didn’t do it. And keep checking out every night until you’re getting ticks for every name in your family! And until it becomes a habit of your life. Amen?

I believe that encouragement is the rich soil in which

we grow our children to their full destiny.

Here's some Scriptures. Proverbs 10:21, New Living Translation: “The words of the godly encourage many.”

Proverbs 12:25: “Heaviness in the heart of a man maketh it stoop; but a good word maketh it glad.”

I love The Living Bible Translation of this Scripture: “A word of encouragement does wonders.”

Did you get that? I’ll say it again. “A word of encouragement DOES WONDERS.” Do you literally need some wonders or some miracles in your marriage? Well, let me tell you. Encouragement does wonders! Yes! It does miracles! If you’ve just been saying negative things about your husband, maybe even to others, or to him, these negative words are going to cause your husband to curl up in a ball, and not be in any way attentive to you. He’s going to get more and more inattentive.

Just start encouraging. Ask the Lord, “What can I say to encourage him?” Think of some good thing and say it! If you can’t even get enough courage to say it, write it, and put it in a little special place where he will see it. Maybe put it in his sock so he'll find it when he’s putting his sock on. Think of something different. Think of some unique way but get the message to him.

You may not find he’ll change with one word but keep doing it. Just keep encouraging, and you will find that miracles will begin to happen. It works because the Scripture is true. The same happens with your children. You will see wonders happen.

1 Thessalonians 5:11: “So encourage each other, and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” You’re doing it? Just keep doing it more! OK?

Hebrews 3:13: “Exhort thus to encourage one another once a month.” Oops! Sorry! No, it didn’t say “once a month.” “Encourage one another once a week.” No! It didn’t even say that! What does it say? “Encourage one another daily.”

Did you get that, ladies? Daily. It has to become a daily thing. That’s why it’s great to have that little checklist and check yourself every night to see if this is becoming a daily thing with your husband, and with your children. You can gradually work it up, until it is something that happens daily in your life.

No. 9. EDIFYING WORDS

Edifying words mean building words. Edifying means “to build up.”

Ephesians 4:29: “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

If what you’re going to say is not going to build up your husband, it’s not going to build up your children, it’s not going to build up those you’re talking with, well, don’t say it! Unless it’s going to edify, unless it’s going to build up, it’s not worth saying, because this is how you build your family: with your words.

No. 10. FORGIVING WORDS

Oh, these are so powerful, aren’t they?

Matthew 18:35: “So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not everyone his brother their trespasses.”

Ephesians 4:32: “Be ye kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake, hath forgiven you.”

Every one of us has experienced things in our lives where we need to forgive. People have done things against us. People have said things against us. But we dare not hold any bitterness. Dear precious ladies, oh, if there’s even the slightest bit of bitterness in your heart, root it out, throw it out, cast it out! Forgive, because bitterness destroys you. I have seen bitterness destroy people, even cause them to die early. Bitterness is so destructive.

God knows what is so good for us, what is so healing. Forgiveness is healing. You never feel like doing it. You don’t do it because of your feelings. You do it by faith. You do it because God has told us to do it. Amen? You forgive your husband. You forgive whoever it is who has hurt you. There’s such power in forgiveness.

No. 11. FORTIFYING WORDS

No. 12. GRATEFUL WORDS

Always being grateful.

No. 13. GRACIOUS WORDS

In Luke 4:22, speaking about Jesus, it says: “And all bare Him witness, and wondered at the gracious words which proceeded out of His mouth.”

Colossians 4:6: “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how you ought to answer every man.” That word “gracious” is the Greek word charis.

Actually, that is the second name that we called our daughter Serene. Her name is Serene Charis. It means “gracious.” It actually means “to give joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, loveliness, graciousness.” This is what our speech is to be like.

No. 14. GENTLE WORDS

Proverbs 15:4, New Living Translation: “Gentle words are a tree of life.”

Proverbs 15:4, the Amplified: “A gentle tongue, with its healing power, is a tree of life.”

No. 15: HAPPY WORDS

Well, I see that I’m already coming to the end of this session, so, ladies, we’ll do another session to finish them off, because there’s more yet. I pray that, as I’ve been sharing these words, your heart will be touched.

I am convicted again by all these words. It’s so good, isn’t it, to keep our lives up to scratch, keep them aligned with the Word of God. Dear precious, lovely ladies, remember, it’s your words—

It’s your words that make or break your marriage.

It’s your words that build up or destroy your home.

“Dear Father, I pray for every wife and mother and daughter listening. I pray that You will fill them with Your Holy Spirit. I pray that You will give them grace to speak all these beautiful words, Lord, these sweet words, these gracious words, oh, God, all these beautiful words we’ve been speaking about today, I pray that their homes will be filled with these words, Lord God. In the precious Name of Jesus. Amen.

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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www.aboverubies.org

Transcribed by Darlene Norris * This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Tell other wives and mothers about these podcasts and transcripts!

More Scriptures about BLESSING

Proverbs 20:22; Romans 12:14, 17; and 1 Corinthians 4:12.

More Scriptures about FORGIVING

Matthew 6:12-15; 18:21-35; Mark 11:25, 26; Luke 23:34; Romans 12:19-21; and Colossians 3:13.

PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 294: Seven-Year Battle with Cancer, Part 3

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 294: Seven-Year Battle with Cancer, Part 3

Arden is now building back his body. He is also beginning his new venture, along with Cal Calhoon, called UNDEFEATED MEN, in order to encourage men to rise up in courage to face their challenges and difficulties. Go to https://undefeatedmen.com. You can also find them on Facebook and Instagram.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! And young people, and even gentlemen! Whoever is listening. I hope there are many guys who are listening to this series with Arden and Esther.

We are back again for the third session because the story hasn’t finished yet. Today Arden and Esther are going to tell you how God has been leading them as he came through the stem cell transplant and had to get his health back from nothing . . . ack again, and what he’s been doing about it and then what they are doing now.

Arden: Absolutely. I hope you guys aren’t tired of listening to me.

Nancy: No, we are loving every minute of it!

Arden: Obviously, over the years, I’d developed a huge passion for health and a love for it. Then after the stem cell, it hit me that I really needed to focus on building my body back up because it was torn down. I applied everything that I had been learning over the years. I don’t eat sugar. I eat a very clean diet. I don’t eat wheat.

I’m a health freak. I’ve turned into my mother! I was a health freak! One day it hit me. I’m like, “Man! I’m like my mom!” Not as crazy a health freak as she is but people would say I am. All my cousins and people will go out and eat here or whatever. I’m like, “No, I won’t.” I’m crazy like that.

Nancy: Well, when you’ve been through what you have and your body’s been down to absolutely nothing, you’re not going to build it back up to just be weakened and open to infection and everything.

Arden: Exactly. I’ve come to the belief, to the realization, that pretty much everything that we go through as far as physical illness can be traced down to, the majority can be traced down to diet and what we eat. We eat so much . . . I’ve researched over the years. We eat so much crap! Even what awful food that’s in our diet as a western culture. A lot of other cultures eat a lot better than we do.

Esther and I went back to China in 2017. Their food is a lot better. The unhealthy people, the younger generation that was introduced to western food and stuff like that, their diets are a lot more balanced.

Our meals are huge. There are a lot of carbs and they’re not well-balanced. Obviously, like my mother, her whole plan and everything drilled into me. Everything clicked. I’m like, “Hey I need to. . . If I want to do this and live long . . .”

Nancy: So, what are some of the things that you’ve found that are just so normal that people are eating today? Every normal guy would be eating that you now would not eat.

Arden: Number one is gluten and fried foods. Trans-fats. Chips. Potato chips. A lot of fried food.

Nancy: I wouldn’t put a potato chip in my mouth!

Arden: Not good for you. Sugar, especially when you’re dealing with any kind of sickness. Especially cancer. Sugar in anybody, it’s not good for you, but with sickness it’s not good.

Nancy: I am amazed that people still have sugar in their houses! If you don’t have it, you’re not going to eat it!

Arden: I know that people had other health issues. There were other diseases back in the early 1800’s, late 1800’s, early 1900’s. But people back then, on average, had a pound of sugar a year. A pound of sugar a year! We have that probably almost on a weekly basis, as an American culture, on average. Or even on a daily basis. It’s crazy what we have.

It’s a fallen world. Humanity twisted foods, played with them, and tweaked them. “Hey! This is going to be better!” White flour, and all this crazy stuff, and processed foods. Stay away from processed foods. They’re not good for you. My diet has pushed all those things away. I haven’t touched a fast-food restaurant since this whole thing started.

Esther: That’s one thing we did do during his whole cancer journey and while doing chemotherapy. We did do a lot of work building his body back up. Making sure he has a clean diet to help support the conventional treatment as much as possible, so that his body could recover from it faster.

Arden: Exactly. If you’ve listened to the last two podcasts, and then to this one, don’t think that I’m an advocate for just traditional medicine, or unconventional. I think both. With the healthy diet. . . both sides of the fence can be like, “My way or the highway, just this, just that.” But I think it’s the well-balanced treatment.

Esther: That’s what worked.

Arden: That’s what worked for me, ultimately, because I believe God likes balance. He likes balance. We often tip over on one side or the other and take it to the extremes.

With all that said, it’s always been on my heart to encourage people. I didn’t know how. I didn’t know if I was able to, or capable of it. I was shy. I’m not good at being on podcasts. I’m an extrovert. My wife is giving me faces. [laughter] I’m not shy one-on-one. I just don’t like big crowds, like talking in front of people. But this is doing things that make you grow, being uncomfortable.

Esther: Not only that, we have quite a history behind us. I always thought that if we were able to bless even one other person, help one other person, it would make it worth it. To encourage them, because God never lets us go through something without refining us. Then our job is to share that with other people as best as we can. If we were to not learn from this, and move on, we’d be wasting all of it.

Arden: Exactly. Exactly. For a number of years I was like, “Why me? Why am I going through this? Why do I have to be the one? I’m Serene’s son. I’m healthy. I grew up eating healthy food. Why? Why? Why me?”

Then I came to the realization, “Why not me? Why not me?” I’ve actually gotten to the point where I’m thankful for what I went through because I've been able to encourage other people. My wife has been able to encourage other women. It’s been really great. The Bible says: “In this world, you’ll go through trials and tribulations, but have comfort. I’ve overcome the world.”

That’s always comforted me. We go through hard things, but God hammers us out to refined gold. It’s something beautiful. It’s always been on my heart. I’ve always wanted to encourage other people, and not just men, but really, real men. It’s been on my heart.

In this day and age, there are not a lot of good men out there. It’s not encouraged. There should be good men. My dad always pushed me. He’d wake me up in the morning, and he’s like, “Hey, do this job. Do that. Oh, you didn’t do it right. Get out there.” We don’t push ourselves as men. We don’t. Really as people too, as a society. We’re so comfortable with being comfortable.

Over the years, it hit me. I’m like, “No, I need to be a man. I push myself to my limits. My wife deserves the best man I can be. My family does. I need to . . .” Then I dig into the Word of God. The whole reason we’re here on this earth is to glorify God.

I was going through the motions. I was like, “Oh, I can’t do this, because I’m sick.” No! No, I don’t want that to be my life. I want to glorify God now! I can do that by living my life, and leading by example, and by being the best man I can be.

We’ve come up with this. It’s been in my heart for a number of years now. It’s just now come into fruition, which is “UNDEFEATED MEN.” It’s a health company, but it’s more than that. Right now, we have some products, some health products that can help you on your fitness journey if that’s what you’re interested in. I really strongly encourage you to work on fitness, whoever you are. We’re coming out with a podcast and with a book.

I really want to encourage men to be real men, to push yourself to your limits. To encourage other men, to hang out with young men and teach them things that young men haven’t been taught. Not even young. Some older men don’t even know how to do some things. I’ve been around. We hold some events on our property. I’ve been around all over the place. Some men don’t know how to do things!

Nancy: No. It’s so sad.

Arden: I grew up doing things.

Nancy: In that, you were so blessed with your father. I can remember when you were young boys, in fact little boys. I don’t know whether you remember yourself. In those days, your father was out painting and doing all those kinds of things. Four o’clock in the morning, he’d be ready to go into a job in the city. He’d say, “OK, Arden! Your turn today! Come on! Get out of bed!” Out of bed at four, and out you went with him to work for a day!

Arden: I don’t know if you remember this too, but even when I was four years old, and some people might think this is extreme, or that my dad was being rough and overbearing. But he wasn’t. He literally made me better. God made him be my father. I came over to your house to do something, and he told me to run straight home.

Nancy: You had to run over to the Johnson’s, to get something. It was dark.

Arden: No, I had to come over to your house to get something. But you drove me back over to the house. He said, “No, I wanted you to walk.” He made me walk back to your house, and then you gave me a flashlight. He said, “No, I wanted you to walk without a flashlight.” I walked back to your house, and then I had to come back without a flashlight.

Nancy: I remember that.

Arden: All through my life, doing things like that.

Nancy: I thought, “That poor little boy!”

Arden: My mom was like, “Sam, you’re being too hard!”

Nancy: But he was training you.

Arden: He was like, “Hey! Let me teach him how to be a man!”

Nancy: Yes, he was training you.

Arden: I did it. When I was younger, I thought, “Poor me! My dad!” But no! Actually, it’s funny, because my dad has told me recently, and my dad’s my best friend now. That’s something I love. I’d rather hang out with him than most any other guy.

Nancy: I think that’s with all your brothers, isn’t it?

Arden: It’s interesting. My dad’s like, “Now you’re an adult, and you realize.” Over the years I didn’t realize the necessity, and the good things that came of that, and why he did that. Now I realize that I love that he did that. I love that he did that.

All that said, I’m a huge advocate, and I want to push other men, encourage other men, that when you’re going through something, big or small, whatever it is, small challenge, big challenge, it’s not a problem, it’s a challenge. Don’t look at your life as, “Oh, I’m going through this,” and let it define me. “I’m a sick person. Or my job this, or my job that. My broken leg this.”

Yes, I understand. I’m not trying to be insensitive. But think of it as a challenge. Rise to the occasion. Everyone goes through their issues. Everyone has issues. I’m not saying that, hey, just because I’m saying, “Undefeated Men,” that guys don’t fall down. We all fall down. We are meant to get back up again. Get back up again. That’s what it’s all about. That’s what I mean by that. “Undefeated Men” In God, in Christ, we are undefeated. That’s what it’s about. Like Granddad Bowen, that saying, “A good man is never stuck!” Always, my whole life, that’s been in my head.

Nancy: I love that, that you have taken that phrase as part of the . . .

Arden: Mantra. The main . . .

Nancy: The mantra for “Undefeated Men.” Oh, Arden, it’s so wonderful. Let me tell you a little bit more about that phrase. My father, that was one of the most common things he would say. “A GOOD MAN’S NEVER STUCK!” We’d hear him say that more than once a day. Anything that was a challenge, anybody else, they were saying, oh, they couldn’t do it. No, he would tackle it. “A good man’s never stuck!”

But the interesting thing is, Arden, that didn’t come only from him. He got it from his father. So, it has come down the generations. He would always tell us of his father. Like you were telling of your father, my father would often sit down and, oh, how he loved his father, because his father was a real man. That’s what he would talk about. “Oh, he was a real man, and he raised us to be real men!”

Arden: The thing is, it’s not just Granddad Bowen’s . . . It’s like, “Hey, we’ve got to get this job done right! We’ve got to get it done now!” He always instilled that, working with Granddad. It’s all passed on. It dies if you don’t pass it on. It dies if you don’t feed it, feed into that.

There’s something I heard a while back. If you had a wolf in the darkness, and a wolf in the light, which one survives? Which one grows? Some people will say, “The one in the light, obviously.” No, it’s the one you feed, the one you cultivate, the one you nurture.

We nurture sometimes our feelings, “Oh, I’m feeling bad. Oh, I’m this,” or “I can’t do this job,” or “Poor me!” But we need to be nurturing to decide, “Hey, no. I’m a man. I’m a son of God. I can overcome this.”

Nancy: Yes. Yes, that’s so true. So, you are blessed that you’ve got this spirit coming down from your father, and also from our side of the family. In fact, my father would say that his father would also tell him, “You can’t put a good man down!”

He’d say, “Never throw in the towel!”

He’d say, “We were raised on those statements.”

He raised all his five sons to be great men, tough men, godly men, but who knew how to be real men. In fact, at my father’s funeral, many people came to me. I remember someone getting up at one of the speeches. There were many speeches there. They said, “Well, this is the last of the men who were a breed like this.” We don’t even have them today.

Arden: The thing is, it’s sad, because I know there are good men out there. I know there are. So, I’m not saying there aren’t any. But really, in my generation, and younger than me, it’s almost extremely rare. They’re not getting raised that way. That’s what it’s about.

Nancy: And to be raised to be men!

Arden: They’re not being encouraged by other men, father figures, even if their dad, grandfather. Granddad Bowen died, I believe, when I was like nine or ten, right?

Nancy: Yes.

Arden: The last time I saw him, I was like six or seven. He hadn’t come back to the States from New Zealand. But he instilled all that. The thing is, some of the things that I do, my passions in my life, came from him. My father and my grandfather don’t even do it. Like I love hunting.

Nancy: Yes, he was a passionate hunter.

Arden: Naturally he instilled that. My father and my grandfather never taught me.

Nancy: That gift has come down.

Arden: Passed down, yeah.

Nancy: Yes, I remember when he, of course, he was a world champion shearer. The day that he broke the world record, he cut his hand on the second sheep.

Arden: I love this story.

Nancy: Many men would say, “OK, that’s it.”

Arden: It was a big gash.

Nancy: He just kept on. He put his hand out while they stitched it up, and he kept on shearing, and broke the world’s record.

Arden: I love that.

Nancy: Because “A good man’s never stuck!

Arden: This is something that Cal and I say, and this is the intro to our podcast. It’ll be launching soon. It’s not about win or lose. It’s about win or learn. Oftentimes we think losing is sad, so we don’t get back up. But nobody starts off great out of the gate. Nobody starts off a master at something, or super-skilled at something. It’s getting up.

It’s falling down and getting back up again, learning to go through the rough times, the hard times, and getting back up. That’s something that’s definitely not taught. I do. I take it to the extreme. I do cold plunges.

Nancy: Now tell us, what do you do these days to keep your body fit?

Arden: I work out three to four times a week, mainly heavy weight training, and some high-intensity cross-fit style thrown in there. I do cold plunges. I’ve been doing cold plunges for over a year now.

Nancy: You’ve been doing them through the snow?

Arden: Actually, no, because I was getting over a bug.

Nancy: That’s right! You got what I got, the bug, and you got the bug.

Arden: I got two bugs, but yeah. Doing cold plunges, which is incredible for circulation, and inflammation, and a plethora of other issues. But as for me being a health freak, I’ve got to do everything.

Nancy: Do you like them better when it’s freezing in the wintertime?

Arden: I do. You get more health benefits.

Nancy: You get more out of them then.

Arden: It’s funny, because I’ve coaxed my dad into fitness and health. My mom was trying for years to get him to adopt it and love it like I do. His health took a turn for the worse and he’s not very healthy. Then over the last two years, I’ve really got him to dig down deep, and he loves it. We do it together now.

Nancy: Oh, that’s so amazing, because you’ve got the big gym in the house there, in your mom and dad’s house. That is so cool. Oh, boy, but they say that cold plunges are not really good for women.

Arden: There are a lot of studies out there.

Nancy: What do you think about that?

Arden: From what I’ve studied into, and I’ve studied a decent amount, it is not the best for women. Now, I’m not an expert on that. I haven’t done a huge amount of research on it, but my mom has. It’s not the best for women’s hormones.

Nancy: Although I like to have a cold shower at the end of my shower.

Arden: I think that’s good.

Nancy: I read somewhere that 30 seconds cold after your shower turns on the vagus nerve, so I usually do that.

Arden: I think that’s fine. That’s good for you.

Nancy: What would you, and Esther, you and Arden, what do you do in your diet to keep healthy, the two of you? What’s your daily diet?

Arden: There’s a lot that goes into that. She and I eat similarly, but I obviously eat a lot more. A lot of healthy, whole food. No processed foods. Raw milk.

Esther: Well, very few as possible. Very few processed foods as possible. I don’t buy very many at all. A lot of greens when we can get them. We love your mom’s sourdough bread. She makes sourdough bread, and we literally live off that.

Nancy: Oh, you live off her sourdough? You are spoiled!

Esther: Yes, I’m so spoiled!

Nancy: Because her sourdough is the best in the world!

Arden: It’s incredible.

Nancy: Mine’s second best. [laughter]

Arden: I love yours too, Nana. But yes, sourdough bread, grass-fed meats.

Nancy: Which you shoot yourself.

Arden: A lot of venison, a lot of beef, eggs, farm-fresh eggs. I do eat non-farm-fresh eggs, but I prefer them. I have the others on occasion if I don’t have access. But the majority of the time, I eat farm-fresh, farm-raised eggs. Brown rice.

Esther: A lot of whole foods, whole grains. We try to get things in their natural state because that’s how God created them.

Nancy: That’s right. That’s the basic way to eat, isn’t it?

Arden: A good balance of your carbs and proteins and fats.

Nancy: The other thing is, oh yes! You know, we were talking the other day. How much time do we have left in this session? (Talk with helper recording the session.) We were talking the other day, Arden. When you get married, and you guys have been married how many years now?

Arden: Eight.

Nancy: Wow, isn’t that amazing?

Arden: Before we get into that, can I say one more thing?

Nancy: Yes.

Arden: It’s about “UNDEFEATED MEN.” Listeners, if there are any men, or, women, tell your men. It’s a call to action. You don’t have to subscribe to the “Undefeated Men” although I’d love to see you all there. You don’t have to have our products to have that mentality and live that life. I just wanted to make that clear now. Our products are amazing.

Our dream and our mission are encouragement and helping guide men along their health, spiritual fitness, and mental journey. Mentally, spiritually, and physically help them with that. Right now, it’s products because we can do that, but we have a lot of awesome ideas for the future.

Go to: https://undefeatedmen.com where we have several products. But we have a lot more coming for encouragement.

Nancy: And I will list that exactly in the transcript.

Arden: And we have a Facebook and Instagram too.

Nancy: Yes. Yes. That will be so good. It’s interesting, isn’t it, that you and Cal are doing that together. Cal is married to my niece, my brother’s daughter. The interesting thing is that Granddad Bowen really has influenced what you are doing, because not only did he influence you, just as a young boy, but he’s influenced the whole family.

“A GOOD MAN’S NEVE STUCK” is just part of our vocab in our family life here on the Hilltop.

Arden: Granddad Bowen is the reason why Uncle Cal became a Christian.

Nancy: Yes, that’s right. On his honeymoon, Melissa took him to meet her grandparents. He believed in God, of course, but he didn’t really know him personally. Granddad was able to lead him to know the Lord personally. It’s all very special, isn’t it?

Arden: Yeah, I’m so excited to work with him. He’s such a great man, an awesome man, a man of God, a great husband and a great father. He’s encouraged me.

Nancy: Yes, they have 11 children.

Arden: We have a lot of great stuff. If you guys are interested, feel free to keep an eye out.

Nancy: In the last few minutes, we were talking of how important it is, when you get married, to bring into your marriage the strength of each family. Many families have weaknesses, and they have strengths. Sometimes all the weaknesses can come in.

We were thinking, yes, it’s quite something to really think about this. To think about the strengths of each one of your families and how important it is to make them part of your married life that becomes even stronger again, doesn’t it? Have you got any thoughts there, on things you brought from either of your families?

Arden: This has been something that Esther and I have agreed on. We talked about it before we were married. But really in the beginning of our marriage, going through everything . . . I believe that every generation is meant to be better than the last.

Esther: Better than the last one.

Arden: Better than the last one.

Nancy: We should all be growing, and learning, and strengthening, yes!

Arden: I want to help my daughter, and if we have any other children to come, to encourage them to become even better believers, that is, stronger people. With that said, we decided, “Hey, we want to take the best qualities from each family and cultivate them in our marriage and our family.”

You can see every family has strengths and weaknesses. You take the weaknesses, and you put them aside. You pool the strengths. It’s really a beautiful thing when you can see the weaknesses, and you can see the strengths. Lots of people don’t want to see. “Oh, we can’t see that. We don’t want to see the issues.” I’ve learned a lot from her family, and from her. It’s beautiful, pulling the great things from her side, and pulling the great things from my side, and meshing them into one.

Esther: What you’re giving, when it comes to parenting, I think a lot of the core values were the same, but there were different methods of addressing them and applying them to their lives. I think, especially, because we’re still rather new parents too. Our daughter’s only four. We’ve really gone over the way we grew up, and taking the best of both worlds, and combining them together to raise our daughter, who we really love.

Nancy: Any particular thing that you would think of?

Esther: I think both families did a really good job of, first of all, being very vocal about their love. We love that. We feel that it’s really important to openly show your love. Especially as they grow up, because I’ve heard the stories where they’ll say, “I know my dad loves me, but he never said that to me.” Thankfully, both our parents were incredible in showing that and vocalizing it. We’ve really tried to do that with our daughter.

Arden: We took that. Like my family, everyone. . . some people might say, “I love you” is over the top,” but we all say, “I love you.” Also, another thing from my family is communication.

Nancy: I think that’s a big thing in your family. They won’t let one thing go. You’ve got to talk it out!

Arden: If you have an issue, you can’t go hide in your room, or this, or that. You talk about it. You have to get it out in the open and air out your dirty laundry. It creates a really good environment.

We don’t want to walk around on eggshells in our own house. We don’t want to . . . Like, “What’s going on in here?” “I don’t know.” If my wife is upset, she’s going to tell me. We talk about it. If I’m upset, I’m going to tell her, and we talk about it, instead of being like, “Hey, what’s going on?” “Nothing.”

Nancy: I think that’s very, very common, isn’t it? Nobody wants to bring things to the surface. That’s one thing in your family. You won’t let anything, nothing, hide! Nothing’s hidden!

Arden: Dad would just echo, “Family meeting!” It’s about me. Everyone’s involved in my issue. It allowed for a really good, healthy environment. That was good. Then with her family, they were very good at . . . I was never good at debating. This is on the lighter side. I was never good at debating, even theologically.

They really challenged me that way. I love that, because I was always like, “Oh, I believe this in my family. I read it here,” but my father-in-law really challenged me. He was like, “Hey, do you believe this? Do you know this?” And “Why do you believe that?” I was like, “Oh, wow!” So, I actually had to dig.

That was like during the whole dating process with Esther, and early marriage. That was something I learned from them. Whatever I believe, whether theologically, I had to back it up. You back it up, because their whole family is built off huge amounts of logic. That was something I learned. In any argument, or even a fun argument, you have to have logic. You have to have something to back it up. That was something.

Esther: Vanderlaan’s are known for saying what they mean.

Arden: Saying what they think.

Esther: Yes, saying what we think. I want to teach my daughter that. I want her to be able to be concise, be clear. I want her to be like what Arden was saying, to back up what she says with logic and the Bible.

My father was an excellent spiritual leader. He was really big on that, and my mother was very good at co-casting to that. He was really good about doing devotions. He was good about catechism. He was really good at teaching us how to, like Arden was saying, be clear and concise. And always back things up with biblical truth. It’s not how you feel, it’s what the Bible says!

Nancy: Amen!

Esther: That was a really, really great thing, especially when I’m becoming an adult. I’m so glad my father and my mother taught me to push out the emotion. It’s all about Bible truth. Who cares how you feel?

Arden: And I’m not saying my family was bad at that. It’s just that was Esther’s family’s strength.

Nancy: Some have more strengthening, yes.

Arden: It’s their strength. They were great at it. There’s a lot of more of that.

Nancy: These have been three wonderful sessions. Thank you so much, Arden and Esther.

Arden: Thank you for having us.

Esther: Thank you for having us.

Nancy: It’s been so wonderful. I know you’ve all enjoyed them. They’ve bared their hearts and you’ve become part of their lives. Men will be able to get involved with “Undefeated Men.”

Arden: I have a book coming out, with my whole journey, and things that I’ve learned from God. God’s really spoken to my heart. I really want to encourage other men on a lot of the journey.

Nancy: That will be great. And, of course, if you haven’t got Esther’s cookbook yet, well, you’ll just love to get that.

“Lord God, we thank You so much that, Lord, You are in the journey of our lives. Lord, everything we go through, You are there. Lord, You are always with us. We thank You that we’ve been able to hear what You have done in Arden and Esther’s lives.

“Lord, we pray Your blessing again today on everyone listening. Pour out Your blessing, Your peace, Your unity, Lord, all Your beautiful Presence upon their homes. We ask in Jesus’ Name. Amen. Amen.”

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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www.aboverubies.org

Transcribed by Darlene Norris * This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Tell other wives and mothers about these podcasts and transcripts!

TRIM HEALTHY INDULGENCE

To order Esther’s recipe book, go to www.trimhealthymama.com

PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 293: Seven-Year Battle with Cancer, Part 2

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 293: Seven-Year Battle with Cancer, Part 2

The story continues. God does an unbelievable miracle and Arden and Esther are blessed with little Gethsemane! Arden's body resists continuing cancer treatments and so they must face stem cell transplant. Esther publishes TRIM HEALTHY MAMA INDULGENCE.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! We’re back here with Arden and Esther, sitting here with me, and continuing to tell the story. There’s so much more yet, but they also have a wonderful story that, against all odds, in the middle of all this chemotherapy year after year after year, God did something very wonderful. Do you want to share, Esther?

Esther: Yes. Throughout the years, obviously, we desperately wanted a baby. But we knew that going through chemo, it was really unlikely we were going to going to have a baby on chemo. Even if we got a clean scan, and he was able to get off of chemo for a while, your body needs time to heal. After all he had been through, even the doctor said it might happen, but it also might not. It probably won’t.

Arden: They specified that.

Esther: It probably won’t. I had a chemical pregnancy in 2017. That was fun. I guess it brought my hopes down even further. Obviously, I tried to live my life in a way where my life didn’t depend on children. My worth didn’t depend on children. I am not valued more or less than a mom with a lot of children.

I was trying to find my hope and I didn’t see in God. As much as I wanted children, I had to put that on the altar to God. He was asking me, is He more important, or are the children more important to me?

Arden: Because she was going through a hard time, watching everyone around here.

Nancy: Oh! Everyone having babies on the Hilltop!

Arden: She w a mother at heart before she wanted children. She’s one of a dozen children. She was always very caring. She’s responsible. She did so much, and she wanted children, watching everyone else have children. We were married years before, and that was tough.

Esther: One of my life-long dreams too was to be a mother. So, I had to come to the end of myself twice. Well, all the time, but twice in a monumental way. I feel like in my life so far, and with Arden, I had to be willing to. . .

God put him on the altar, like the altar, like the altar that Abraham put Isaac on. God told me, “Am I more important, or Arden, to you?” I had to say, “God!” Then God blessedly gave Arden back to me, and said, “Fine, you can keep him. He’s yours now.” I do try to keep everything with a loose hand, because ultimately, it’s all God’s.

Then I had to do that with childbearing, because I really, really, wanted children. It was one of my passions and dreams. I had dreamed of it from the time I was a little, little girl. It didn’t feel fair that I had to put that one on the altar as well, but I had to.

God said, “Who’s more important to you? Me, or the children?” It took time, and it took a lot of struggling and fighting. But in the end, obviously God is more important. Without children I can still live a wonderful, full life, because I have Him.

However, God in his gracious kindness, did give me a baby. Arden had been off chemo for a little. He had just gotten a clear scan. We were giving his body a break to get through all that crap. On January 11 of 2019. . .

Arden: Actually, I was going to add to that. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. But I was going to add to that. I had gotten clear scans, and they were actually wanting me to do a stem cell, but we didn’t feel like we wanted to do a stem cell at that point.

Esther: We didn’t feel like it was the right time.

Arden: Yes. That’s the miracle.

Nancy: Yes.

Esther: Exactly. I never take, or I have learned not to take pregnancy tests early, because it’s rather disheartening to find negative after negative after negative. I had the two faint positives from the chemical pregnancy, but every other test I had taken was a negative pregnancy test. It was disheartening and discouraging and so on. Three years in, I had learned a long time ago to stop taking early pregnancy tests.

But strangely enough, on January 11, 2019, I had this random urge to take a pregnancy test. I was early. I was a week early. I would not normally take a pregnancy test then. It didn’t make any sense. Arden was out hunting, so I was like, “Well, he won’t know if I take it or not. If it’s negative, I’ll throw it away. He’ll never know.”

But for some reason, I felt this sporadic urge to take a pregnancy test! I took it, and I had to wait the five minutes that they recommend to make sure of your full results. So, I stepped away, did a couple of things, and then I stepped back to it.

To my absolute shock and awe, it was positive! I didn’t believe it at all. Honestly, between that day and the next morning, I took eight pregnancy tests in total because I didn’t believe it! It was so hard for me to believe it.

Arden: The funny thing is, well, generally I’m always late from hunting.

Esther: I’m married to a hunter, you know. There is no time frame for them. If they say they’re coming back at ten, they may come back at eight. They might come back at noon and noon is more likely!

Arden: That morning, I’d gone hunting. I was like, “You know what? I just feel like going home and spending time with my wife.” It was the one morning. . .

Esther: The one morning, if you’d been late, it would have been perfectly fine, because I was trying to figure out a way to tell him.

God gave me, He blessed me with a really easy pregnancy. I had very little morning sickness. It was a very good pregnancy. It was wonderful. We found out midway we were having a baby girl, which is honestly, so wonderful. I’d really wanted a little girl. I was so happy with whatever God gave us, but I did really want a little girl.

Arden: All of that year, 2019, I was doing natural treatment in Arizona, so I was not going to Vanderbilt and doing low-dose chemotherapy there. I was doing a low-dose immune chemotherapy.

Esther: Immunotherapy.

Arden: Immunotherapy in Arizona.

Esther: So, 2019 actually was a very blessed year. It was easier. It was simpler. I was pregnant, and I know I went through the entire year of 2019 in kind of a bliss because it was so fun being pregnant.

Arden: Beautiful. It was amazing.

Esther: I was talking to someone recently who’s also gone through infertility. She was talking about how, even though little things in pregnancy that are hard, become so beautiful and wonderful when you’ve waited that long. For me, even if I was sick, I didn’t even care! I was just so happy to be pregnant and have a baby.

My daughter decided she wanted to be stuck in me a lot longer than I would have liked. Our due date was September 23^rd, and we didn’t end up having her until the 29^th. But on the 29^th, bright and early in the morning, like at 1 am, I went into labor. I had a beautiful labor, a lot harder than I expected, but it was beautiful, and it was wonderful, and we had a beautiful baby girl.

Interestingly enough, I’d always loved the name Gethsemane since I was a teenager. I didn’t know why at the time. I love unique names, and it was a beautiful name, but I didn’t realize how much meaning there would be to it until later on.

Later, when we were talking about names for our daughter, we knew it would be Gethsemane. We talked about this before we had gotten pregnant, but we knew it would be Gethsemane for a daughter because after all we had gone through, it fit.

Gethsemane is the place where Jesus prayed, “Not My will, but Yours be done.” He didn’t want what was happening to him. His human self didn’t want any part of it. He didn’t want to hurt. He didn’t want to ache like that. He didn’t want to suffer like that. But He said, “Not My will, but Yours be done.”

That is the place I had to come to. Arden had to come to it. We, separately and together, “Not my will but Yours be done. Please take this cup. Take it. But not my will. Yours be done.”

Then for her middle name, we actually had been praying about it and talking about that. I was researching one day, and the perfect name came to me when I was searching. It was Elianna. Elianna means “God has answered.” Together that was the story. “Take this cup. Not my will but Yours be done.” And then. . .

Arden: “God has answered.’

Esther: “God has answered.” Her name is Gethsemane Elianna. We are so blessed and so happy to have her. She’s the joy of our lives.

Arden: She’s beautiful, amazing, smart.

Esther: She’s four. She’s spunky. She’s a little stubborn. I think, too, it puts another perspective on mothering. Because even the hard days with her, I might not get to do this again, because I might not have another one. I try to enjoy it to the fullest, even the parts that are hard.

Obviously, as a mom, you still go through hard days. I may have it only once, so I’m trying to savor it, and make it last as long as I can. It’s not a burden to me. It’s beautiful.

We can go back to the stem cell transplant.

Arden: There’s a lot that goes in there in this whole story.

Nancy: So, all through this time, you still continued to work while you were on this low-dose chemo.

Arden: Through all the treatments, I continued to work. The only time I didn’t work was during the heavy dose, the big heavy dose. Actually, before the heavy dose in 2016, when I was stage four. I was sleeping. I was out of it. These giant tumors on my neck and my underarms.

Esther: You worked as much as you possibly could.

Arden: Yeah, it’s how I was raised. Even Granddad Bowen, and I have that memory. “A good man’s never stuck.” I didn’t want to be someone just sitting at home. “I can’t work.” So, I did. I forced myself to work every single day, just for a little bit. You guys can imagine.

The first few doses of low-dose chemotherapy were fine. I didn’t have any side effects or reactions. Not even hair loss for probably the first year, so I’d say, 2017, nothing. Then I got clean scans. Since it’s a really aggressive type, it started resisting those chemotherapies, so we were switching to other low-doses chemotherapies. I reacted to those. I heard cancer is killing cancer, but I was sick from those. Minor hair loss, but I was sick two weeks out of every month for years.

Nancy: Whenever we’d see you, “How you are going, Arden?” “Oh, great!” We most probably didn’t know you were going home to throw up.

Arden: Nobody knew besides my wife.

Nancy: So, for quite a few years, you and Bowen were managing the manufacturing plant for Trim Healthy Mama.

Arden: Yeah, I did a lot before I did that. I was doing freelance videography for singer/songwriters.

Nancy: Oh, that’s right. You used to do all the videos for your mom and Auntie Pearl, doing their cooking shows, yes.

Arden: Yes, did all their videos.

Nancy: Are they not doing them so much now?

Arden: Not as much as cooking videos right now.

Nancy: They were so great!

Arden: We’re going to get back into that but they’re passionate about other things right now.

Nancy: Well, yes, they’ve got all this Trim Healthy Medical they’re working on.

Arden: So, I did a lot of freelance videography. I contracted with tons of different people, tons of companies. Trim Healthy Mama is one of them. And then, actually it’s when we had the baby, I started at CMS, which is one of my parents’ companies. I started fixing the equipment there, like a maintenance guy.

I’ve always liked tinkering with little machines. Not engines, as a mechanic, even though I could do that. I like to say, “I’m a jack of all trades, master of none,” but still better than master of one. I’ll finish it that way. [laughter]

I’ve always loved tinkering with things. There’s a guy who I used to work for. He instilled in me that if you’re capable, competent, and willing to learn, you can pretty much do anything. These machines that we would wrap candy bars for other companies and protein bars for Trim Healthy Mama, I was fixing them. Then I started teaching other people how to fix them.

Then some machines that we had in that facility, there were only a few of them. Actually, there were several of them in the United States, but only a few guys who knew how to fix them. So, I’d fly out and fix the machines for some company. I did that for a number of years. Then I managed a couple of other guys at CMS and taught them how to fix the machines and operate machines. Then I worked in a lot of different areas at CMS.

Then Bowen and I got offered jobs to manage because we had been showing initiative for a number of years. Dad raised me my whole life with skillsets, skillsets, skillsets. “You’ve got to learn skillsets. You cannot complain. You’re a man.” I used to, when I was younger, I was like, “Dad’s being tough on me.” I’m so glad he did because it made me the man I am today.

He told me when I first started working for the company, “Hey, don’t think for one minute that I won’t replace you if you’re not doing your job. You’re expecting anything for free? You’re not going to get it here.” I’m like, “No, I’m not expecting anything for free. You raised me different.” I had to work for it. I don’t want one red cent given to me by my parents’ company. I’m not owed anything by them. Yeah, so when the baby’s born, I started that. In the beginning of 2021, I started management at CMS with Bowen (my cousin, Pearl’s son).

Nancy: Yes, yes. Now, you’re onto something new now, but we’re going to wait for another session for that one, because we’ve got to. . . Oh, first of all, what was Esther doing? Well, can I tell you what Esther was doing? She was doing so many things.

But you have to know that Esther has always been the dessert and cake cooker on the Hilltop. She is the best. There is absolutely no one who can even compare with her. Even someone who can make beautiful desserts—no one can make them like Esther.

She got the job. Everybody’s birthday, everybody’s special occasion, Esther made the cake. If Esther made the cake, everyone surrounded it like flies, waiting for their little piece. It’s not only delectable, but it is so totally pure and healthy. Esther was always busy baking and doing these things. Then, of course, like my place here . . .

Arden: Oh, no, I was going to add, over the years being around my mom and all her healthy friends and everybody, and parties, she’d have potlucks and everything. Some healthy desserts just don’t taste very good. I was like, put some in my mouth, “Mmmm, mmm.” Thumbs up! “Mmmm, it’s good!” Then go somewhere and barf! [Nancy laughing]

I’m actually not a huge sweets guy. I’ve never really loved sweets, but Esther’s are very, very, very good. They taste bad for you.

Nancy: Yes, they taste bad for you, they’re so good! [laughter] But they are so good! Esther was always doing that. And as my father always used to say, we were raised with this Scripture, “A man’s gift makes room for him and brings him before kings.” Your gift always makes room for you.

Of course, Pearl and Serene asked Esther to do one of the Trim Healthy Mama cookbooks. She put together TRIM HEALTHY INDULGENCE. I wonder if you’ve got that book. If you love desserts, if you love cakes, you’ve got to have TRIM HEALTHY INDULGENCE on your bookshelf, because every single recipe is delectable, but the amazing, miraculous thing is everyone is absolutely pure health. There’s no one but Esther who could do this. In fact, Serene, who’s the most amazing cook, can’t make desserts like you! And then Esther did the cookbook. Please get it! If you haven’t already got it, you’ve got to get it.

But then, Pearl and Serene opened the Trim Healthy Mama cafes. The one here, and then they did one in Texas for a while. Esther began making all the delectable desserts. You’re no longer doing it now. You’ve trained others, haven’t you? But you started off making them all.

People came. You can’t believe it. I would often go to the café on the weekends. I knew it would be so fun. I’d only go on a Saturday, because if you go on a Saturday, you know you will meet people from all over the country! You didn’t know from what state you were going to meet them! “Oh, hi, and where do you come from?” “Oh, we’re down from Ohio. We’ve just come down, my friend and I, to stay the weekend, to come to the cafe.”

People, ladies, Trim Healthy Mama fans would come, have a weekend in Tennessee, just to come to the café. And, of course, always to try ESTHER’S CAKE OF WONDERS, your chocolate cake of wonders. All of her delectable, delectable things. They came from out of state just to taste them!

Esther: Well, thank you. I don’t know if it’s that good.

Nancy: I haven’t had one of yours for a long time now, Esther, seeing others have taken over at the café. I don’t actually bother with them now because they’re not made by you. [laughter]

Esther: Well, thank you. I had the wonderful privilege of writing TRIM HEALTHY INDULGENCE when Serene and Pearl asked me if I’d be willing to do so. It was a wonderful opportunity. I’m really glad I took it. I do love baking, but due to allergies, I have an allergy to both wheat and sugar. I can’t have the regular conventional treats. In general, they’re bad for you anyway, so you shouldn’t be eating them.

I was tired of all the fake-tasting healthy treats, especially because I love pastries. I love the Great British Bake-Off. I love all these artsy desserts that you can’t really replicate, in general. With TRIM HEALTHY INDULGENCE, I wanted to make recipes that people could love and didn’t feel like they were missing out, especially for the men. It’s hard to feel like they’re missing out on something yummy. Then they’re also less likely to eat the healthy things.

I tried to make the majority of them taste as bad for you as possible. There are things you simply have to sacrifice, but I think I did a pretty good job. At least all my feedback tells me so.

Then, yes, I was also privileged to be able to be one of the start-up bakers when they started the café, like you were talking about. I have since retired from that job because I have a four-year-old daughter who keeps me busy, and homeschooling her, and all that. But yeah, it was such a wonderful opportunity. I’m so glad it was offered to me.

Nancy: Oh, yes. Now, we’re coming up to you’ve still having to have this low-dose cancer treatment, and the doctors are saying, “We can’t keep going. Something’s got to change.”

Arden: After we had the baby, during that, I started CMS. Like I said, I was getting treatment somewhere else, and I had to come back to Vanderbilt. I was like, “Hey, will you guys take me back?” It was a good treatment, but they had no plan. They were like, “You’re going to have to do this forever.”

Every couple of weeks I was flying back out there for a weekend of traveling. It wasn’t sustainable. I didn’t want to do that with a baby on the way. Who wants that to be how we started our little family? Even without the baby, and after she was pregnant, it wasn’t fun. It wasn’t enjoyable. It was tiresome.

Right before the baby was born, I called Vanderbilt back and said, “Will you guys take me back? Will you guys work a plan for me?” They said, “Yes. Absolutely.”

Right after the baby was born, I went in for scans. They saw where I was, and I started low-dose chemotherapy again. It was back to feeling bad. They wanted to do stem cell, but they can’t do stem cell without a clear scan, because it’s more effective. The chances of you actually beating it with a clean scan are a lot higher because there’s a lot less cancer cells.

I started the low-dose chemotherapy. It was all of 2020. 2021 I finally got clear scans again. Fall of 2021, I got clear scans. They drew my stem cells.

Nancy: They take all your stem cells.

Arden: They insert a catheter in one of my big veins inside of my thigh. Then they have one on the other side. For like a week prior, you inject yourself with a shot that forces your bone marrow to push out your stem cells, so they’re in your bloodstream now. Then they pull them through one leg, through a machine which captures your stem cells. You need about six million cells to actually do the stem cell transplant. I got close to nine, right?

Esther: Yes, you were close to nine.

Arden: Close to nine million stem cells. They recycle and go through the machine. Your blood would come back.

Nancy: Isn’t that miraculous? Nine million stem cells in your body.

Arden: Oh, there’s way more. That’s what they collected. There are billions of cells. Anyway, they collected that for the stem cells. On March 7, 2022, we started stem cell therapy.

There’s a lot of back and forth. I was like, “You don’t want to do this.” I didn’t want to do it because I didn’t know what the long-term ramifications were for my health. But I wanted to be here for my wife and my little girl that we had just had. At that point, not just had. She was a couple of years old, actually.

They pretty much said, “You’re going to have to do this now, or the cancer will become resistant to the chemotherapy that you’re currently on.” I didn’t want to do the chemotherapy anyway for that much longer. It was nasty. It was terrible. I felt terrible, and every day I had to push myself to work, to be active, to be happy, to have the joy of the Lord. I had to put a smile on my face, because I felt terrible.

Nancy: I remember talking to your mom many times over that time. Because it is a huge thing.

Arden: She did not want me to do it.

Nancy: She did not want you to, but yet, in the end, she had been to this big health conference where she met this doctor there. He would have been as pro-healthy and against all cancer treatment as you could get. She called him and said, “Please, what would you say?” He said, “This is really your only choice.”

Arden: Yeah.

Esther: We also had to leave the baby. We couldn’t take the baby with us, because she couldn’t live with us at the hospital. They told us we’d have to be there, at best case scenario, three weeks. But highly unlikely. We’d better prepare to be there for a month.

The thought of also being away from my daughter for that long was horrifying. We had never been away from her, even overnight. My daughter was only two. She was still nursing. It was really heart-wrenching.

Arden: Yeah, it was extremely heart-wrenching and sad, especially for you, because of the bond they had. She was nursing, and all of that. My mom did not want me to, but we had decided, Esther and me.

Esther: We had prayed about it.

Arden: Yeah, we prayed and prayed and prayed. We actually felt, like in the beginning, that same peace. This door had opened, and we felt peace. I need to do this. We went ahead with it.

It’s funny, thinking back on it. When I was doing that, I thought to myself, “I could never do the stem. I could never go through this again. It’s the toughest thing I’ve ever been through. It’s one of the things. They started with the heavy, heavy, heavy hitters again. The idea is, they knock you out. Not like out cold, like unconscious, but they load you up with chemotherapy.

Esther: They wipe your body out.

Arden: They wipe your body out.

Nancy: Really. So, your whole body is wiped out.

Arden: Your immune system, everything gone.

Nancy: You don’t have an immune system?

Arden: They rescue you with your own cells. So, what I did was called an autologous treatment, I believe. It’s with my own stem cells. Some people do it with somebody else’s stem cells. That’s generally reserved for a case where it’s relapsed after a stem cell, or for a harder case of cancer.

Anyway, they were quite certain that this would work. We did it and started on that. They wiped me out.

Nancy: How did you feel when you were wiped out?

Arden: Imagine the worst flu you’ve ever had. The worst flu you’ve ever had, and times it by six. You feel like you’re knocking on death’s door.

But all my life, I’ve been fascinated with Navy Seals. Navy Seals have the mindset and the power that God has given this human body a lot, a lot. We’re capable of so much. We don’t really notice how powerful the mind is and what God has given us. A lot of times we stop at that mental barrier, that mental wall. We don’t push past it.

Navy Seals have always fascinated me that way, because they’re like, “Hey, no day’s an easy day!” You can go seven times longer. You push yourself to your absolute breaking limit. I’m not saying be stupid, but it’s always fascinated me. In another life, I would probably like being a Navy Seal. My wife wouldn’t want that. [laughter]. I wouldn’t want to do that to her. I really do honor and thank all the guys who do and have done that. It’s definitely a sacrifice. But I’ve always loved Navy Seals.

Going through that, I really wanted to apply that. Obviously, I didn’t have the training like they had, but I really wanted to adopt that mindset, so I told myself every day, “You can do this. You can do this.” I went on walks around our little ward, 15 laps were like a mile. We did a mile, or close to a mile every single day while I was there. I had a little bicycle, and I’d ride that bicycle every day. Actually, we were there for nineteen days.

Esther: God did a little miracle there too. Well, technically it was a big miracle. They said, best case scenario, we’d be out in 21 days, but not to expect that. We were out in 19 days.

Nancy: Wow!

Arden: They said I pretty much handled that better than the majority of people handle it.

Esther: Afterward, you weren’t allowed to be out and about.

Nancy: So, you had to be isolated when you came home, for how long?

Arden: Three months.

Nancy: Three months. So, we couldn’t even see Arden. They were living on the Hilltop, but he had to hibernate.

Esther: Yes. He couldn’t go out anywhere or do anything because his immune system was so weakened that even a little cold could be the death of him, literally. They said that most stem cell patients have to go in afterward for infections.

Arden: Weekly.

Esther: Praise the Lord, we did not have to go in once during those three months. We did the standard check-ups, but there were no infections. We had no more hospital stays. It was definitely a miracle.

Nancy: I think one wonderful thing is being out here in the woods. You were hibernating but you could get out into the woods.

Arden: My doctors were great. I gave them a hard time. I was not an easy patient. I was actually probably the worst patient they had because I’m a very outdoorsy man. I want to do things. I told them, “I’m going to do this.” They’re like, “Don’t do this.” I went and did it anyway. I told my doctor, “Yeah, I’m going to go out on the farm.” He was like, “OK, as long as you’re not doing this, and doing such-and-such things.” So, I did.

Thankfully, we live out on the farm, and I was out every day. It was actually a beautiful time. I was able to do work from home, so I worked from home. I was also able to spend a lot of time with my family. It was beautiful.

I was happy, because my daughter didn’t really remember that well. I wanted to do it that way, instead of continuing with low-dose chemotherapy if I got clean scans again, and then do stem cell when she’s four or five, like now. She’ll remember it. I didn’t want her to remember when Daddy was sick.

Nancy: Well, I can’t believe that another session has gone by. We have not yet even got up to what you are doing now. So, that’s going to be the next session. Arden is now doing something new which is very powerful, and which will be a blessing. You’ll want to hear about it for your sons, for your husbands. We’re going to talk about that in the next session. That’s going to be exciting. I know you’ve been blessed hearing this story.

“Lord, we thank You again that we’re able to meet together, that Arden and Esther have been able to share this story, Lord God, the journey You’ve taken them through in these last seven years. Now the way You are leading them. We thank You, and we give You the glory.

“Lord, of course, we’re always thinking about all those who are listening. Many have different problems—physically, mentally, spiritually. I pray, Lord, that You will come and minister to each one. We thank You that You are the God who is enough. No matter what we are facing, Lord “God, You are bigger than any problem that we face.

Lord God, we thank You that we can trust You completely. Lord, You are our Rock, our Fortress, and our God, our Friend, our Shepherd, and our King, and our Redeemer. We thank You. I pray Your blessing on every household that is listening today. In the Name of Jesus. Amen.”

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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Transcribed by Darlene Norris * This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

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TRIM HEALTHY INDULGENCE

To order Esther’s recipe book, go to www.trimhealthymama.com

"A capable, intelligent and virtuous woman,
who is he who can find her?
She is far more precious than jewels and her
value is far ABOVE RUBIES or pearls ."
Proverbs 31:10

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