LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 297: Is There a Better Word Than “Kids”? Part 1

If you’re in the groove, you most probably call them kids, without even thinking. It’s the norm and we all gravitate to the norm. But is it the best word? Check out this podcast.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies, and teens, and children. Maybe husbands! Here we are together again, and we’re continuing to talk about our words. You will remember the last two podcasts I talked about all the positive words that we should be speaking in our homes. That was such a good thing to talk about. Great to talk about the positive, isn’t it? If we could fill our homes with all these positive words, wow! They would be homes that would be filled with the blessing of the Lord. If you didn’t get to hear them, go back and listen to those two podcasts.

Today I want to get on to something very interesting about some words we speak in our homes, but before I do, I want to speak about some negative words. I don’t really like speaking about negative words, but God put warnings in His Word about negative words, so we can’t just let them go by. We’ve got to read them as well because they keep us from going down that road of speaking these negative words.

Now here are a few warnings that God has given us regarding our words.

Psalm 34:12-14: “What man is he that desireth life, and loveth many days, that he may see good? Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.” Those same words there in the Old Testament are repeated again in the New Testament in 1 Peter 3:10-11. We get it in the Old and we get it in the New. A double banger.

Proverbs 10:19: “In the multitude of words, there wanteth not sin. But he that refraineth his lips is wise.” My, that Scripture has always been such a challenge to me. I find that the more you hang out and talk, and talk about sometimes hardly anything worthwhile, the more you talk, the more likelihood there is of saying the wrong thing, and of sinning. I think we do have to be careful about watching our words. Oh, how the psalmist prayed, “Put a watch, O Lord, on the door of my lips!” (Psalm 14:3). Oh, isn’t it scary what comes out of our lips? Sometimes we cannot even believe it ourselves, can we?

That’s King James language. Let me give you that Scripture in some other translations. The Berean Study Bible: “When words are many, sin is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.”

The Living Bible: oh, this is pretty good: “Don’t talk so much. You keep putting your foot in your mouth. Be sensible, and turn off the flow.” I think that’s a pretty good warning, isn’t it?

We have to watch, especially if we’re just hanging out, chatting, talking about anything and everything, that we don’t go down the wrong path. Sometimes we can start talking about people, talking about their negatives. One person says a negative, then another person says a negative.

By the way, I have found this out, and it truly works. When you say something negative about something or someone, you’ll find that other people who you’re talking to will begin to add another negative. And then someone will also add another negative, and it just gets worse and worse.

I noticed this. I thought, “Wow, I’m going to try a little experiment.” So, I also thought, If you say something positive about someone, say a good point about them, it’s amazing. You’ll find that those you’re talking to will think of a good point too. Then someone else will think of a good point. So, the good points get added. We have to be careful we don’t go down the destructive path. Instead we go on an upward path. Amen?

Proverbs 21:23: “Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from trouble.”

James 1:19: “Wherefore my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” We’re so often so quick to speak, aren’t we? Oh, my. It takes a lot to learn to be slow to speak and wait to say the right thing.

James 1:26: “If any man among you seem to be religious and bridles not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain.” That whole passage in James 1 is all about the tongue. We need to read it often to keep our tongues in order.

Here are some specific warnings.

DON’T SPEAK IDLE WORDS

Don’t speak idle words. Jesus said in Matthew 12:36: “But I say unto you that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgement. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.”

What are idle words? The word is argos in the Greek. It means “useless, lazy, worthless, careless.” Some other translations: The Amplified says, “Inoperative non-working words.” When it’s talking about someone, it’s talking about a lazy person who doesn’t do anything worthwhile. When it’s talking about our speech, it’s about, OK, we’re saying junk. It’s nothing that’s worthwhile. It’s really just a lot of waste of time.

Oh, and how many times do we speak those kinds of words? And yet, the Bible here says, in fact, Jesus Himself said that we’re going to give an account for every idle word. Oh, I’m constantly having to come before the Lord and confess words that I have spoken, and plead the blood of Jesus.

How wonderful that when we do sin, even with our lips, that we have an advocate with the Father. Jesus Christ His Son. And we can come to Him and confess our sins. What does it say? 1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” And He will forgive. How wonderful that we have the blood of Jesus!

DON’T TELL LIES

I’m only giving you just a few Scriptures of the many on these subjects.

Leviticus 19:11, in the chapter on the laws of holiness it says: “You shall not steal, neither deal falsely, neither lie one to another.”

Proverbs 12:19 & 22: “The lips of truth shall be established forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment. Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but they that deal truly are His delight.”

Not only do we have to watch our own lips that no lying words come out of our lips, but we have to watch this with our children too, don’t we? Children are very prone to lying. They often lie to get out of discipline. When you ask them, “Now, who did this? Did you take that cookie out of the pantry?” “Well, no, Mommy, I didn’t!” They don’t want to have any discipline and they will lie so easily.

But, my, we have to watch out for those lies, because lying can become a habit. There are many people who lie. I know people who lie, and I don’t even believe half what they say because lying is part of their life. It’s become a habit of their lives. We’ve got to break that habit while they are young.

I think I’ve shared with you before, in training our children, I had to decide what would I do? Because children being children, they’re doing stupid things most of the day. I could be a yelling mother all day long. I had to choose. I decided that I was going to let go little childish things—when they knocked over stools, and knocked over this, they didn’t mean to. You’ve got to watch. You don’t get worked up or angry about little stuff like that but to be aware of the important things. When they disobey, when they rebel, when they lie, we’ve got to deal with those things very diligently so that they realize they are against the Lord, and they are an abomination, the Bible says. We must deal and discipline for lying so our children will get out of that habit. Never let lies go. Amen?

Here are a few Scriptures.

Proverbs 19:5: “He that seeketh lies shall not escape.”

Colossians 3:9: “Lie not one to another. Seeing that ye have put off the old man, and have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge.” That is talking about the old and the new man When we lie, we are giving into the old man, our old nature, the unredeemed nature.

But we have to yield to the new man, to that new creation which is in us. When we receive Christ, He comes into our lives and He is in us. This is the new man, and He is holiness. He is truth. He is love. He is kindness. He is righteousness, and when we are tempted to lie, we must yield to the new man which does not lie.

DON’T SPEEK FOOLISH WORDS

Proverbs 10: 8 & 10 repeat it: “The wise person accepts instruction, but the one who speaks foolishness will come to rue it.”

Let’s go to the New Testament. Ephesians 5:3-5: “But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.”

So, what it’s saying here, not only should such things as fornication never ever once be named amongst the saints. Sadly, it does happen, even in churches today but it should not, according the Word of God, be even named amongst the saints. It goes on to say it is the same with foolish talking and jesting. It should not even be named amongst the saints.

I’m not thinking this up, ladies. This is the Word of God. I’m sure, like me, you want to live by the Word.

What does Matthew 4:4 say? “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.”

This is the way I want to live, by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God, and which has been given to us in this eternal word, this Bible which we have. It is a treasure! It is our life! Every word is life to us. Every word keeps us on the right path.

I want to take hold of every word, especially in this deceived day in which we live when people do not know the Word, so they’re not living by the Word. They’re really just living by the way of the world. But we need this Word, don’t we, to get to us to keep us on the right track.

DON’T GOSSIP

Proverbs 11:13: “A talebearer reveals secrets, but he that is of the faithful spirit concealeth the matter.” It’s repeated again in verse 19. It wasn’t enough to put it in once. God put it in twice.

Proverbs 20:20: “When no wood is, the fire goes out. Where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.”

DON’T BE A FALSE WITNESS

That’s right back in the Ten Commandments, isn’t it? One of the Ten Commandments in Exodus 20:16: “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” That’s actually a little bit like talebearing, isn’t it?

Just know that when you hear something, half the time you don’t even know whether it’s really true. But then you pass it on to someone else, and then it gets passed on to someone else. Then that gets passed on to someone else, and you know what happens? The story changes every time.

Have you been in a room? Sometimes we play this game at parties. You whisper a sentence to the person next to you. Then they whisper it to the next person. Then they whisper to the next person until you get around to the very end. Then the last person shares what the sentence is.

Well, it’s unbelievable, because the last person sharing is never anything like the sentence started. It just gradually changed around as people got a different word wrong. It was completely different. It’s quite hilarious. It’s worth playing that game just to see how easily truth or lies can be changed in speaking from one to the other.

So, more Scriptures. Exodus 23:1: “Thou shalt not raise a false report. Put not thine hand with the wicked, to be an unrighteous witness.”

Leviticus 19:16: “Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people.”

Proverbs 19:5, repeated again in verse 9: “A false witness shall not be unpunished.”

DON’T SPEAK RASH WORDS

Proverbs 12:18: “Speaking rashly is like a piercing sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

The New English Translation says: “Speaking recklessly (and then the commentary of that translation says (rashly or thoughtlessly) is like the thrust of the sword, but the words of the wise bring healing.”

DON’T SPEAK CORRUPT WORDS

Ephesians 4:29: “You must let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth.”

DON’T CURSE

Leviticus 20:9: “For everyone that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death. He that curses his father or his mother, his blood shall be upon him.”

Proverbs 20:20: “Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.”

Wow, that seems a terrible retribution for that sin, but do you know what?

Ladies, it’s not just in the Old Testament. It’s in the New as well, in Matthew 15:4: “Honor thy father and mother. He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.” Wow! That’s not the Old Testament, ladies. That’s the New Testament.

Sometimes you hear mothers even cursing their children. You have heard some mothers yelling and screaming at their children in the supermarket. Isn’t it horrific? Some do it to their husbands. Help! But here in the Word of God it says that if someone does it to their father or mother, help! Look out!

Those were just a few. There are many more. Just a few warnings that God gives us in the Scriptures about our tongues that we need to be, I don’t say encouraged, but help to keep ourselves on the right track, even in our homes, in what we say to our children and what we say to our husbands.

WHAT DO YOU CALL YOUR CHILDREN?

But now, I want to talk about another word. This is a word that I think most of us say every day. It’s what we call our children. What do you call your children? I hear most people calling their children their “kids.” Just about everybody calls their children their “kids.” It’s the most common word in our society today.

But did you know, ladies, that wasn’t always the case? You don’t find the word “kids” regarding children in the Bible. In fact, if you go back to the 1828 Webster’s Dictionary, you will not find the word “kids” there to mean a word for “children.” It has been added in later years, but it was not there originally. I don’t believe that it is the word that we are meant to call our children.

Why do I think that? I have to say, of course, that when I first started having our children that I began to call them “kids” like everybody else, because that’s what everybody else called them. It just shows you how we’re all like sheep who follow the other sheep. We just do what everybody else is doing. In society we say what everybody else is saying.

That’s why we have to watch that. Is what we are saying, what we are doing, according to the Word of God? We have to constantly measure ourselves up with the plumbline of God’s Word.

Well, what set me off on a different track was that many, many years ago I read an article about a sheep farmer in New Zealand. Now, I am originally a New Zealander. I come from New Zealand. We are now US citizens here in the USA. We are so blessed to be here.

But when we left the shores of New Zealand we didn’t come straight to the USA. We went to Australia, and we were there for ten years, pastoring a church there before we came to the States. But I was in Australia when I read this article. It was about a farmer who had diversified from raising sheep, because in New Zealand, sheep farming is so prevalent. We have more sheep than people. There are thousands of sheep feeding on the hillsides of New Zealand.

But this sheep farmer diversified into raising goats as well. He wrote in this article that he noticed a very interesting thing. The ewes, that’s the mother sheep, remain close to their little lambs, but he noticed that the goats would herd their little kids together, maybe on a little knoll of a hill, and they’d leave them for quite a few hours, and go off and forage for food. They didn’t provide that same attention that the sheep gave to their offspring.

When I read that, something began to tick over in my mind. I thought, “Wow! This is interesting. But before I get too carried away, I’d better check it out a bit more.” So, I thought I’d talk to my father. My father has now passed away, but he was the fastest shearer in the world in his time. He was the world champion sheep-shearer. He shore over a million sheep in his lifetime. He certainly knew a lot about sheep.

So, I said to my father, “Is this true?” And he said, “Of course, Nancy. A sheep will never go any further than earshot from its little lamb, but it’s true, goats will leave their little kids, even for hours.” I began to see. Yes! This is why we now call our children “kids”! Because mothers have become goat mothers. What are kids? They are baby goats.

Today, most mothers get up in the morning and they take their little kids and they put them in daycare, or maybe even with grandparents, or with a friend, or somewhere while they go off and do their career or go out to their job. What they are doing is being goat mothers. A sheep mother, an ewe, will never go any further than earshot from her little lambs.

I remember one time, being back in New Zealand, flying back from the USA. Often, I loved to take a few photos of sheep to bring back here to show people, because the US is not a sheep country. We are a beef country here.

One of the reasons, of course, back in New Zealand that we can be a sheep country is that we have no predators. Did you know that in New Zealand there are no predators at all? Our sheep can be safe out there on the grass and the hillsides. There are no wolves. There is no animal coming to tear them to pieces, so they live in safety and security. Here, if people have sheep, they have to have certain dogs or something to protect them very much.

I was back in New Zealand, and I was walking over the fields, the “paddocks” we call them there, with my father. I saw this beautiful little lamb that had just been born. I wanted to get up close to take a picture. As I did, of course the mother ewe was very scared of me, and she began to run away. But she stopped, because her little lamb! Although she was still scared of me, she went back to her little lamb, to be there to protect her little lamb.

This is opposite to the goats. I actually had a letter from a woman. Yes, this was another farmer’s wife in New Zealand. She wrote to me, and she said (it wasn’t the same one who I first read about, but this was another lady):

“Over many years, we have raised lambs on our land. Indeed, the sheep are wonderful mothers. This year, for the first time, we had goats and baby kids. One Sunday, as we drove in the front gate, we heard a loud bleating, and stopped to check. On top of the hill were young twins, brown and white, but no mother anywhere at all! My eight-year-old was so worried and he kept going back to check. After about two hours, they were cold and getting weaker, so we heated bricks and wrapped them in newspaper. We went to warm them and feed these little orphans. We thought the mother had completely disappeared. When we arrived, there, to our amazement, was the mother! She was not dead after all but had simply gone off to feed and left her little kids. She must have continued this neglect, because not long after, the little white kid was taken by a fox.”

This is goat mothering. Goat mothers tend to leave their little kids, but if we’re sheep mothers, we won’t want to leave our little children. I actually heard from another mother too. She was from Australia. She also wrote to me. This lady shared that they were out in Australia, and they used to hunt wild goats for living in the outback of New South Wales. She said that she observed many times that in the face of danger, the nanny goat would leave her little kids unprotected, and run from danger to save herself! She didn’t stay by her little kids.

She also noticed that the goats were cowards and would give up easily. When they caught the goats live, these wild goats, they would turn them over onto their backs. She said the goats didn’t struggle. Their eight-year-old daughter was able to put a foot on the goat’s neck and wait until they came to tie it up.

So, we see the difference between the goats and the sheep. But this, this is where I really got convicted, was when I went to the Word of God. Of course, we know that of all the animals in the whole of the world, what does God call us? He calls us His sheep. He calls us His lambs. We are the sheep of His pasture.

Psalm 79:13: “We Thy people, and the sheep of Thy pasture, will give Thee thanks forever.”

Psalm 100:3: “We are the people of His pasture, and the sheep of His hand.”

Isaiah 53:6: “We all like sheep have gone astray and have turned every one to his own way.”

John 10 is the chapter about Jesus being the Shepherd. He says: “He calleth His own sheep by name, and leadeth them out. He goeth before them, and the sheep follow Him, for they know His voice.”

But, OK, we’re getting to the Scripture where I really got convicted. Matthew 25. You can read the whole passage from verses 31 to 46. But I’ll just read you a little bit. “When the Son of Man shall come in His glory, and all the holy angels with Him, then shall He sit upon the throne of His glory, and before Him shall be gathered all nations. He shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divided his sheep from the goats. He shall set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left.”

I’ve actually written that Scripture out to give you, but I want to go to it in my Bible because it’s very powerful. Matthew 25: “Then shall the king say unto them on his right hand,” remember that’s the sheep on His right hand, “Come, be blessed of my father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.” But then we go to the last Scripture, and it talks about oats, it says: “These shall go away into everlasting punishment, but the righteous into life eternal.”

We see here how God likens His people to be sheep. He separates them. They go to the right and they are the ones who will enter into His everlasting kingdom. The goats are those who don’t know Him and they go to the left, into as the Bible says, “everlasting punishment.”

As I read that Scripture, I thought, “Wow! I don’t want to be aligned with the goat company because that’s goat mothering.” I decided I was going to kick the habit of calling my children “kids.” I didn’t want to belong to that company at all. Actually, I did . . .  I cold-turkey kicked the habit.

I was listening the other day to my daughters’ podcast, Serene and Pearl, who do the Trim Healthy Mama podcast. They were doing one about the power of how you can learn things far more by play than you can just by rigid routine. It was rather interesting. They quoted this quote which says, “Now, what we know,” this was given by a Dr. Purvis. “Now what we know from research is that it takes 400 repetitions of an act or a learning skill, 400 times, to get one new synapse. Or would you like to know an option? There is an option. Twelve repetitions with joy and laughter, and you get a synapse, because there’s a release of a chemical, dopamine.”

That’s interesting. When you’re trying to learn something new and get it to be part of your life so you don’t have to think about it, so it just becomes part of your life, they say it can take up to 400 repetitions.

But if you do it with joy and laughter and song, it only takes 12 repetitions. That’s amazing. I think that is why children learn so much in their early years because they play, and they’re happy, and they’re laughing.

So, dear lovely ladies, I’m giving you the challenge. Would you like to also kick the habit of saying “kids”? Because you’re aligning with the goat mothers and you’re putting your children in that category of goats as well. We’ll look into a little bit later more of the character of the goats and the sheep.

I’m amazed. I’ve shared this with many people, and I find they still keep saying “kids.” Maybe they haven’t tried 400 times yet. But I was thinking, after listening to the girls, maybe you have to think of a joyful way of doing it. Maybe you’ll have to think up a song, perhaps.

When you call your children “kids,” you remember. Have a little song, a little ditty that you’ve made up about how you’re calling your children “children,” You’re no longer a goat mother, or something. Make it into a little tune. Laugh and sing. Maybe you’ll only have to do it 12 times! And you will have kicked the habit!

I remember one time I had been to Singapore, and I had shared this truth with the folks there in Singapore. Then Colin and I were returning for return meetings another year. The folks were there at the airport to meet us. As we walked off the plane, they all greeted us. You know what they said? Well, they didn’t really even say anything. They all went, “Maaaaa-aaa!” They had remembered what I had told them.

Another time, I was speaking to some ladies in Australia, in Brisbane, Australia. I shared again this truth of changing their vocabs from calling their children “kids” to something that is far better. We’ll talk about that in the next session. I shared it with them and went back home.

Sometime later I was asked to go and speak with them again. And as I arrived, these mothers came down the path to greet me. They said, “Nancy! Thank you for what you shared with us last time. It’s totally changed our lives, and our mothering!” Actually, I’d forgotten what I had shared. I said, “What was it?” “You know,” they said. “You know how you told us to call our little children our little lambs instead of our kids?” One of these mothers shared with me. She said, “It has revolutionized my mothering.”

Because these women had come from a very, very hard life. They’d been dragged up. They were in a community. This pastor and his wife were reaching out to these people in a very, very, how do I describe it? They’d been dragged up. They’d been through incredible, terrible things. These mothers were pretty tough and hard. But when they took on . . .  they listened to me, they actually received it.

Instead of just calling their children kids, and most probably many other very negative names, they started to call their little ones their lambs. It brought a softness to them. It took away the hardness. Do you notice, even an old shepherd, and he’s carrying a little lamb on his shoulders, he becomes so gentle. There’s something about little lambs, even saying the word. You see, that’s what mothers used to do, before the word “kids” came in, they used to call them their little lambies, or their lambkins. Now it’s “kids.”

Time has gone. I’m giving you the challenge. Hope you can do it!

“Lord God, we thank You so much again for Your wonderful Word. I pray that the mothers here, who are listening today, will take up this challenge, because it’s no light thing. Lord, every word we speak has power. So, I pray that You will give them this wonderful urge to change their wording, Lord, and to kick this habit. In the Name of Jesus. Amen.”

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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Transcribed by Darlene Norris * This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

 

Tell other wives and mothers about these podcasts and transcripts!

The following are two poems which I have written for children about speaking the truth. You may like to get your children to memorize these poems.

ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH

Here’s a secret for the girl and boy,

Who wants to live a life of joy -

ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH!

When you tell a lie you please the devil,

He’s the father of lies and wants you a rebel -

ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH!

Do not try to cover the mess you’re in,

By telling a lie God says is sin -

ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH!

Every lie you tell makes matters worse,

It leads to another and becomes a curse -

ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH!

Confess the truth although hard to do,

It’s the way to go and God will bless you -
ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH!

There are no liars in heaven, did you know?

Stop telling them now - it’s the way to go!

ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH.

Break the habit of lies while in your youth,

To follow God you must speak the truth -

ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH!

And here’s another one:

WHO IS WISE?

Who is brave and very wise,

And deserves to get a prize?

The one who tells the truth!

Who can lift their head up high,

And does not need to hide and cry?

The one who tells the truth!

Who can smile with open face,

And never bring himself disgrace?

The one who tells the truth!

Who will grow up straight and true,

And be successful in all they do?

The one who tells the truth!