PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | Episode 32 – Who Loves Parties? Let's Have a Mothering Party!
Episode 32: Who Loves Parties? Let's Have a Mothering Party!
FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell
Pam Fields joins me for one more session.
I talk about homeschooling in the spirit of “rest and refreshing” (Isaiah 28:9-12).
Pam shares how the manual, THE POWER OF MOTHERHOOD taught her how to be a mother. She purchased this book 22 years ago. Now she has purchased the edited and enlarged edition for her daughter who is expecting her second baby. Every mother needs this manual beside her. Purchase at this link: http://bit.ly?PowerOfMotherhoodUS
Pam also shares about her wonderful idea of MOTHERING PARTIES. Listen to how you can make this happen.
Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, From Our Home to Yours, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.
Nancy Campbell: Hi, Ladies! Wonderful to be with you today! Well, you'll never believe it, but I've got Pam with me again today. Now, she actually hasn't been staying with me for three weeks because this is our third podcast. We are actually doing them all together. I had to make the most of it while she was here.
Usually, when I'm doing podcasts to you, I do two at a time, but today, we're doing three at a time. Three pods in a row! It actually reminds me of that book, Ten Peas in a Pod, by Arnold Pent III. Did any of you ever read that book? It's getting a bit older now, but it's a wonderful book. Oh, if you can get hold of it, you can most probably get it on Amazon for cheap as dirt.
It's the most amazing story of this family, the Pent family. They had eight children; that was why it was called Ten Peas in a Pod. The father was an evangelist, traveling the nation, USA and Canada, preaching the Word of God.
But he was not only a preacher, he was not only an evangelist, he was not only a teacher. He was a father, and his greatest goal in life was to teach his own children first the Word of God. So, this was their plan. He would read the Word to his family after breakfast, after lunch, and after supper.
Wow. When I read that book, that was a challenge to me. I have to confess that we have never attained to that. Now I know that there are some families who do. But we read the Word every morning and every evening, because we know that's a biblical pattern. But if you can get to the three times, I'm sure it's even better.
So, they used to do this. But how did they do it when they were traveling? Well, this father, it never stopped him. No matter where he was, and often they would be staying with people, they’d be hosted in homes with all their children.
When it came to having breakfast with the host and hostess who were Christians, he would say to them at the end of the breakfast, or the end of the lunch, or the end of the supper, he would say, “Oh, I love to read God's Word to my family. Would you be happy if we could do this?”
“Yes, yes, go ahead,” they would say. Then he would say, “And wouldn't you like to join us? We'd love you to join with us.” He didn't get the same response. They'd say, “Oh well, just go ahead. We've got things to do.”
The son who wrote this book said there was never anyone who joined in. Isn't that sad? These were Christian homes. These were not secular homes. These were lovely Christian families who hosted this family. He said no one joined them. They were too busy to hear the Word of God.
This father didn't read for ten minutes. He read for an hour. At lunchtime, he read for an hour. Supper, he read for an hour. And, as the children got older, they were encouraged, before they came out for breakfast, to have an hour in the Word themselves.
So, these young children, and older children, by the time they were teens, they could quote the New Testament verbatim, and knew many passages of the Old Testament. It was quite an amazing challenging book. But it's also an exciting, riveting book. You'd love to read it if you could get hold of it.
Now Pam, I notice you've got your prayer bracelets on today!
PF: I went and found them. I did. I've got them on now!
NC: You had to go and get them on. It's so great to see them. They're so lovely.
PF: They do take up a bit of space. But you know what I found? When they take up a bit of space to put them all on there, and I find myself struggling with, “Ugh, they're annoying me,” or I just need to take them off to get something done, it prompts me to pray, right off the bat. I can move them from one arm to the other.
And when I've gotten through the names, I go put them back next to my bed stand, and on with the day. So, it actually . . . if it irks me, it motivates me to get right on the ball with praying for them.
NC: Wonderful! And you have a special place where you keep them when you've finished.
PF: Yes, I do, so I can start out the next day.
NC: So, they don't get lost. That's so great. I just wanted to tell you one more thing. Remember we were talking about homeschooling in our last session? I was thinking afterward about a Scripture. I'd love to read it to you, because I think it's a wonderful Scripture to encourage homeschooling moms.
It's found in Isaiah 28, verse nine and onwards. And it says: “Whom shall he teach knowledge? And whom shall he make to understand doctrine? Them that are weaned from the milk, and drawn from the breasts.”
And it goes on to say: “For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little:” Do you get the picture that it's not sitting our children down and making one hour or two hours or three hour sessions, and there they are, they've got to accomplish all this particular work?
No. Do you notice God's way? “Precept upon precept; line upon line; here a little, there a little.” Yes, knowledge—we can't always take it in in great big lump sums. It's here a little, and there a little as you go through the day. It’s the same picture that God gives in Deuteronomy chapter 6, where it commands parents to teach their children when they're sitting down, when they're lying down, when they're walking by the way. It's in the process of life, because life is teaching.
This is a wonderful encouragement, but it doesn't stop there, because it goes on to say, “To whom He said, this is the rest wherewith ye may cause the weary to rest; and this is the refreshing.” Now so many mothers, when they're homeschooling, they don't feel refreshed. They feel overwhelmed, and how am I going to do this, and how do I get it all done, and oh, it is too overwhelming!
But it's not meant to be like that! Dear mothers, it's usually because we're doing it the wrong way. We're doing it our way. But God's way is line upon line, here a little, there a little. That way, you'll have rest. You'll have refreshing. Isn't that great?
But the passage isn't finished yet, because then it says: “but they would not hear.” Isn't that interesting? You know, we hear God's way, but it doesn't seem right. “Oh no, I don't think that's the right way. I've got to do it my way. I've got to do it how everybody else does. I've got to do it how the public school does it.” But God says: “When you do it My Way, you'll have rest.” But no, they would not hear, the Bible says.
It's like, a lady came to me one day, she came to our church fellowship. We were talking afterwards, and she said, “Oh, Nancy, I'm so overwhelmed! Please help me! I'm homeschooling my children, and I just can't keep up with it all.”
I said to her, “Tell me what you're doing.” She told me about her program for schooling, and then she said, “But also we've got all these extracurricular activities. I've got to take this one to violin lesson on Monday, this one to guitar lesson on Tuesday, and this one goes to this on Wednesday, and this one . . .”
By the time she finished telling me all the things she had to do, and the running around with her children, I felt worn out just listening to her! I said, “It's overwhelming. You've got to cut some things out.”
She said, “Oh, I couldn't do that!” I said, “OK, you just have to stay overwhelmed.” Because we have to choose, don't we?
Anyway, we've got to listen to the Word, don't we? Pam, OK, I think we need to get back to mothering again. I want you to tell me again a little bit of your growth in mothering.
PF: So, when I became a mother, my experience was babysitting. I was a babysitter, a lot. I babysat all the time. So, when I became a mother, I realized, it's just like babysitting, right? Wait a minute . . . it's NOT just like babysitting?!
I thought the goal was to keep them alive and keep them happy. Then I got a hold of The Power of Motherhood book. I was looking on the cover, and it was published first in January of '96, and my son was born in May of '96. It was just a few months after he was born when I got a hold of The Power of Motherhood.
I didn't realize it was so freshly off the press. It was meant for me, for sure, because I got a hold of it. It truly became my manual for motherhood. It took me beyond “my job is to keep them alive and healthy,” to “what does the Bible say?”
If I look through the chapters, it talks about nutrition, where we feed them. I hadn't really thought, well, you just feed them, slap something out in front of them. But there's more to it than just slapping something in front of them. Serving them, it's a privilege, it's an honor to be able to serve our children, and to raise them for the Lord. It's just an act of service to the Lord, truly.
Going in a few chapters like “What's Our Nemesis?” You know what, I'm supposed to be a watcher over my home. I'm supposed to be a caretaker. I had never heard of the authority that I was allowed to have as a mother. That was absolutely new to me, that they are my children, that God gave me, and I have authority to be their mother and to make decisions.
Making memories, making a home, and raising future missionaries, not that they will all maybe go overseas, but where we are now, each place they're going to end up in life. They'll be able to reach the world.
It just expanded my idea, and my knowledge of, and maybe it planted that seed to someday be homeschooling, because “Mothers Being a Teacher” was in here. I'm like, “I'm not a teacher, I'm going to send them to a teacher.”
So, all these things, so many of these chapters were so foundational that spurred me on to go, “There really is more to it.” Because I didn't know it, I became thirsty for it. I wanted to learn, and I wanted to do this.
NC: Yes. I wonder, do you have this book yourself, ladies? It is, as you said, a manual for motherhood. In fact, I believe it's a manual, something you need by your side, to encourage you and tell you what God says about you. Because that's the whole thing about this book, The Power of Motherhood.
I have gone into the Word of God to find out, what does God say about us as mothers? This book is just filled with 32 chapters, of each new chapter, a new thing that God says about you, as a mother. It will inspire you and encourage you. Instead of listening to what society says about you and pulls you down, this is what God says about you, and lifts you up, so that you will never be the same again.
I mean, you can't read this book and stay the same. So I encourage you, if you haven't got it, just go to the website, www.aboverubies.org, and you'll be able to find it there. Order it. Get one for yourself. If you're a grandmother, get one for your daughters, and your daughters-in-law. I believe it's a book that every mother needs to have.
It's not an option, because it's the Word. It's just taking out of the Word what He says for mothers, so you've got it all there beside you. So, I'm so glad you were blessed by it, Pam. This one is actually a new edition which I have, because I wrote that one 22 years ago. I can't believe it. This edition that you will get now is enlarged and edited. It will bless you off your socks!
PF: I agree. You edited this one just in time for my daughter. She had her baby, so she can have it too.
NC: Oh, that's so neat, that's so wonderful! Anyway, you told me something this morning, yes, it was so exciting.
Now I love friends who stimulate me. One of my dear friends is in Australia. Her name is Val Stares, and she's the director of Above Rubies in Australia. Now some of you are listening from Australia and New Zealand, so you know Val and Heather. Val looks after Above Rubies in Australia, and Heather is her sister, and she looks after Above Rubies in New Zealand.
Although they're in different countries, these beautiful sisters, who have been friends of mine since we were young mothers raising our children together, now we're grandmothers, and now we're great-grandmothers. They were with me right back then, so we go back a long way.
These two wonderful sisters, they live in different countries, New Zealand and Australia, but they call each other every day and pray together. Isn't that great? But Val was always, every time we got together, she would have a new idea.
We started off, that was where we first got the vision, it wasn't my vision, it was Val's. I started the magazine, and then she got the vision for music. We used to sing the anointed songs of motherhood to the mothers, so they could listen to music that would bless them as a mother.
So, Lois and Janie were two other wonderful friends. There were anointed singers, and they began to sing songs for mothers. They wrote songs for mothers and wives. We produced these first two, they weren't CDs, they were tapes and LPs. One was called, The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, and the other was, Her Price is Above Rubies.
Then, our daughters, Serene and Pearl, grew up. When they grew up, they were signed as record artists. They did that for a while, till they married. Then they wanted to be home with their children. Then, from that they began to write songs for mothers. So that's how music came into Above Rubies. It all started with Val—and loads of other ideas.
Now, whenever I get with Pam, oh, when I would stay at her home after an Above Rubies retreat, and she would have to drive me to the airport, we would talk. She'd come up with all these great ideas. In fact, it was her idea that, “Nancy, you've got to do a podcast!” So, we're sitting here today because of you, Pam.
So, this morning, she's talking. She's got another good idea. You've got to share it with the ladies, Pam.
PF: Well, it's purely driven by selfishness, I'm sure. But I think back to when I was a young mom, and I had no idea how to do what I was doing. I was so thirsty for encouragement, and thirsty for the knowledge. That, what does the Bible have to say about this? I want to know just how to walk with the Lord deeper, and how to parent my children for Him.
It was through your work, and your book, and several of your books, I started learning those things. And then I heard about the Above Rubies retreats, and I thought, “Well, I'll go to one of those.” One became another, and it became another, and I just enjoyed them so much. They just spoke into me, and they grew me.
Every time I came home, I just loved my children more, and my husband more. I was so much more appreciative. We need to be servants, we need to be servants to one another. So, I thought about this. I thought so many times, “Nancy needs to be duplicated!”
That's all there is to it. She needs to be duplicated, because wouldn't it be wonderful if there was a Nancy, an older woman in every one of our cities that we could connect with, and who can teach us? Now it's just something that so many of us . . . you're doing the podcast now.
I'm so excited, because we don't have to wait until a retreat comes around once a year. It's easier, you don't have to travel as far, and as often now. So, it's wonderful that you can do the podcast from your home and reach us.
Back in the day, when I suggested it, it wasn't actually a podcast. I'd never heard of a podcast before. But I remembered as a little girl dialing up this 1-800-Tell Me A Story.
NC: You told me about that first and then you also told me about the podcast.
PF: Oh yeah, at one point I did, because finally I heard about them. At the beginning, I thought, “I just want to call up 1-800-Nancy!” And I just wanted to call up and I wanted to hear your voice. I want you to be the cheerleader that says, “You CAN do this! You get out there, and get it done! This is God's anointing on you. It's His purpose for your life. Go out and do this.”
It's so lovely now. I can turn on my podcast, and I get that little oomph to go, I'm going to go out and do this. So, I really think we all need to have that. A podcast is wonderful. I love the podcast. I just think, what would it look like, if we all had someone who was near us, someone we could connect with and chat with regularly, to just push the truth into us, and grow us.
So, I was thinking back to, probably 10 or 12 years ago, I did an in-home party. We all know how the in-home party works. You get invited to the party. Go back 10 or 12 years ago. We sent out a postcard, followed by a phone call, followed by a morning of more phone calls. “Did you get my invitation? Are you coming to my party? We're going to do great things. I've put out snacks. Please come.”
These companies that have all these parties, they have spent big money on research as to how to make these parties successful, how to get people to come, and how to make these things happen. I have thought so many times, you know, we need to get just as excited about mothering, and about our faith, as we are about these little parties.
I just saw this postcard going out that says, “You come to my house, or come somewhere, and let's have a mothering party. Let's talk about mothering.”
NC: A mothering party! I love parties, and I think, why not have a mothering party? I think that sounds so cool!
PF: Yeah! And I was thinking, what does that look like, though? To go to a home to have a mothering party. Normally these things involve sales. Wouldn't it be great to go to a party, and not have to buy anything? Wouldn't it be great to just go and be encouraged and filled and refreshed in the Word? Ready and equipped to just go out there and do what God has called you to do?
NC: Yes. All mothers need this encouragement so much! Oh, I think we do have to think of ways of encouraging one another. So, I'm looking forward to hearing more.
When I was a young mum, I used to have a ladies’ Bible study in my home to encourage being a wife and being a mother. Oh, so many mothers came with their babies and their children. We had usually more children than mothers. They would stamp on my potted plants, and wreck my house, but oh, they were wonderful times, because we stimulated one another. We encouraged one another.
We always went back to our homes, although I was there in my home, but we were all refreshed. We could do it again for another week. We so looked forward to meeting one another. It's like the Above Rubies camps. It's not only my speaking that blesses the women, but it's the beautiful fellowship of kindred spirits. The talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, of encouraging one another, and the testimonies, yes. So, carry on!
PF: Well, you know, you had a great example of it being in your home. If you can do it in your home and have all the children play. Maybe the older ones watch the younger ones. Then that is fantastic. But sometimes people just, logistics aren't working out, size of the house, who's going to watch the children, on and on.
So, you could take this and make it your own in so many different ways. You could do it in your home, or you could do it in a park. You could meet in a park. You could meet in a coffee shop. There are even some coffee shops by me. I'm in the Pacific Northwest. We do coffee a lot.
NC: It's not quite so easy with little ones.
PF: Well, the coffee shops by us have playrooms. So, it could be, or it could be, maybe you do it in the evening, when your husband's home. Maybe he has, every now and then, he watches them. So, there's all sorts, you could just think out of the box, what can I do?
I want to tell you about another thing, because my friend, Ann Dunagan, has this down. She has a beautiful model. It really is relevant for today because so many of us are on Instagram or Facebook, and all these social media ways.
She told me about a thing she has. She has something called the Mission Minded Huddle. It takes place within Facebook Messenger. The idea is that you gather with a group of women, the same women, three to four women.
You pick a date and a time. Say we're going to do Monday at 2 o'clock. So that's a great time. You make sure your children are down for a nap, and you've got your whatever done. You could even be in different time zones as long as you have it all lined up so you're all online at the same time.
You go into Facebook Messenger and start a, what do they call it, they call it a video chat, I believe. So, you go into the video chat, and you start a video chat. Each woman gets 15 minutes, yeah, I think she does 15 minutes. Might be 10.
The idea is that each woman gets 10-15 minutes to go through a list. She calls it “The High Five.” I'm going to tell you what those are. Let me see if I can find it. There we go.
Each person gets the floor. No one interrupts for 10-15 minutes. You're going to tell, during those few minutes:
- I'm praising God for. . . something. It's always good to praise, isn't it?
- I'm learning about . . . What is the Lord teaching you? How are you growing? We never know when He's teaching us something if that is for someone else as well.
NC: I love that, because we should always be learning and growing. Now we just want to get into a rut, and we can easily do that. I'm always challenged by those words of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, when he said, “But to act, that each tomorrow find us farther than today.”
I think it's something that we should keep in our hearts, to always be learning something new, always pressing on a little more. Today, tomorrow, we're going to just understand a little more who our Wonderful God is. We're going to learn something new.
Something I love to do at our family meal table, just in our family situation, and this is a wonderful thing for homeschoolers too, is at the supper table, where we like to encourage our children to discuss and talk. We should do that. I've never raised my children to be seen and not heard. That was very old-fashioned.
But I think the table is a wonderful place of communication. It's where we encourage our children to communicate. We can bring subjects to the table, and questions that can really open up stimulating conversation. Because if we don't, do you find that if you don't bring a subject to the table, that often it's just very shallow, it goes nowhere, and it's totally boring.
We can, as we are intentional, that word intentional, bring a subject to the table. We can have the most wonderful, stimulating conversation. A good question is, “OK, children, what is something new that you have learned today?” With each one, taking turns around the table, including Mommy and Daddy, because they want to hear, what have we learned too? So, we're all speaking about what we've learned, hopefully.
If nobody's got anything to say, well, we'd better change the way we're parenting! Maybe change the way we're homeschooling! I think that's quite a challenging question for people too. Often, I'll talk to folks, you're just wanting fellowship, and I'll say, “Oh, what's God been saying to you lately?”
Many times, they don't have anything. I mean, it's a stimulating question, because we should be learning something all the time, shouldn't we?
PF: If you ask them every time you see them, “What are you learning?” and they don't have an answer, it may drive them to go home to look it up to be prepared, because they know you're going to ask!
NC: Yes, Yes.
PF: So, the third question of the High Five was, “I need courage for . . .” You know, sometimes you're struggling with something, and you know, really in the end, you know where it's going, or what you need to do. You just need courage to make it happen. It's just great to share that with a group of women who know that's where you're struggling. So, “I need courage for . . .”
The fourth one is “I need prayer for . . .” Again, there's so much we need prayer for. The power of prayer is so great. But not all prayer requests are things that you are posting openly about. Not all prayer requests are things that you want to advertise to everyone. So, it's great to have, “This is a prayer request I specifically have for you, this group of women that I hold so dear.” So that's number four.
Number five is “Ask me next week.”
NC: That's how you're doing? “I really want to work on this, and this is what I'm going to do.”
PF: And you ask for prayer about something since last week. “Now I'd like to know, how did it turn out?”
NC: That's good, yes. I like that.
PF: It gives a model, so that, again, being intentional in our relationships . . . we have limited time. As moms, we're busy, busy, busy. I've told people I don't have time for silly little trivial conversations. I want to go from zero to deep in eight minutes or less. And truly, this is what it does. Going through this High Five takes you from “Oh, how are you today?” to “What's really going on?” That's where we need to be fed, we need to grow. So, I just love that model, to do it.
NC: I think that's so great. You know you can't do this so much on Facebook, or you could bring some things about it. But many women, over the years, have used this manual, The Power of Motherhood, as a Bible study for ladies in their home, and mothers.
So, you can look at that too, because there is so much of the Word and foundational truths for mothers, if you kind of don't know. Especially if you are going through this book, well, you'll be learning things that you can pass on. And that question, “What am I learning?
Or you could even have mothers in your home and go through this book. There's only one problem. There's just so much, you could be going for weeks and weeks and weeks! If it's going to be a long-term thing, that would be wonderful. If it's going to be a shorter-term thing, you may have to choose some of the chapters. There's such depth here that can keep you going for so long. But that's another good idea.
Thank you for sharing that, Pam. I love that.
PF: I think if we said, “You only have to do this huddle,” or “You only have to go through this book,” or “only have to do this,” it becomes a burden. But I think there's so many ways and ideas to take the time to be intentional. You can choose the format, you can choose the resource that you want to use.
I want to steal your quote, because I think of it so often, and for so many different areas. This is a Nancy quote. “Things don't just happen. You have to make them happen.”
NC: Absolutely. That's in every part of our mothering, isn't it? Every part of our parenting, every part of our homemaking. We create the home we want to have. We create the mothering that we want to enjoy in our home. We've got to make it happen. Whatever we want, we can make it happen.
Well, the Lord bless you, and thank you, Pam. What a joy it's been to have you with us on three podcasts. Wow, that's so cool. Let me pray for you.
“Father, I thank You again for every mother, grandmother, daughter listening today. Oh, God, You see their situations. You see them in their homes. They're just hungry, Lord God, for You, and for Your Word, for Your enabling in their lives. I pray that You will come to them this day and refresh them.
Let them know that You are with them. They're not home on their own, mothering. You are with them, in their kitchen, every room where they go in their house, You walk with them. You have promised, “I will be in you, and I will walk with you.” Lord God, You walk with us, wherever we go!
Our lives, and even the mundane and the normal is no longer normal when You are with us. Give us this vision to make our homes a place of excitement and creativity and joy and love and filled with the Presence of God.
Oh, God, we just thank You for who You are. Lead us all to know You more and more, because if we know You, Lord God, then we walk with You in understanding, and in joy, and in blessing. Our motherhood is, Lord, taken to a new level! We thank You in the Name of Jesus. Amen.”
It'll get prayed for twice, because the Lord will hear the prayer twice, even if they only hear it once.
“Dear Father, we thank You so much for every precious woman listening today. Lord, I pray that You will come into their home, and they will feel Your Presence hovering over them, round about them, filling their homes with Your love, and Your joy, and Lord, all that You are.
We thank You, that You want to be with us. Lord God, You are a dwelling God. You long to be with us. You want to walk with us, and dwell in us, and be with us, and sit at our table with us. We thank You, and I just pray that You will bless each mother, and their husbands, and their children.
Lift them up, Lord, to a new realm of mothering and being a wife, that it will no longer be a drudgery, a chore. But it will be an excitement, because they know they're walking in the very perfect will of God. Thank You, Father, in the Name of Jesus. Amen.”
Link to purchase THE POWER OF MOTHERHOOD: http://bit.ly/PowerOfMotherthoodUS