LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 295: The Words We Speak -- Part 1

Today, you are enjoying or enduring your marriage according to the words you have been speaking into it. The dynamics of your family life you are experiencing are what you have been speaking into it. What kind of words are you speaking in your home?

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! Always so great to be with you! I’m going to read again today that very, very famous passage in Titus 2. You all know it, but it’s good to read it from time to time.

Titus 2:3-5: “The older women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

Well, this passage is very much part of the Word of God. Every word in the Bible is life-breathed, God-breathed, and every word is an eternal word. There is no word that we can just lay aside, and think, “Oh, well, that doesn’t really apply to me.”

The sad thing is, that in our modern society today, there are so many women who don’t like these words very much. In fact, they are so opposite to what is actually happening, even amongst the Christian women of our society today. That’s why we do need to read them again, and to read how it ends, that if the older women are not faithful to teach these things, or the young women don’t even want to hear them, the Bible says that the Word of God will be blasphemed.

Wow! That’s strong language, isn’t it? But it’s Bible language, and sometimes I think, well, why is it such strong language? Why does the Bible say that if we, as women, don’t live this lifestyle, that we’ll blaspheme the Word of God? I believe it is because this is God’s plan for His women, His female creation, which He reveals right at the very beginning, right in the very first book of Genesis, and throughout the Word of God.

As you know, I speak on different aspects of our womanhood, and our mothering, and our homemaking in all these podcasts. I never run out of things to share, because God has given us so much in His Word. But when we refrain from living this lifestyle, when we reject it, when we think, “Oh, well, I know better, but I’ll do what I want,” well, we’re actually blaspheming God’s words.

We’re blaspheming God’s ultimate plan and design, because when we embrace His design, and we live it, well, we’re bringing glory to God. The greatest way you, as a woman, as a mother, can bring glory to God is to embrace who He created you to be as a wife, as a mother, as a homemaker, because this is His plan. Then, if we don’t, we blaspheme!

I’m actually not going to talk about all these different things today, but I wanted to read a couple of quotes. I love to go back and read commentaries on Scriptures that relate to us as women. I was reading the other day The Pulpit Commentaries. It says of theses Scriptures:

“The honor of Christianity is bound up with the faithful discharge of the simple duties of domestic life. In truth, the family is the main test of Christian virtue, as it is the distinctive feature of humanity, as ordained by God.”

Another quote:

“There is nothing more beautiful or saintly in this world than a true mother in Israel. The presiding genius of her family circle, speaking the words of love, softness, and kindness, to all within her reach.”

That’s a beautiful description. That’s what I’d like to talk about today, that last phrase, because we know the Scripture in Proverbs 14:1: “Every wise woman buildeth her house, but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”

WORDS ARE OUR GREATEST BUILDING TOOLS

I believe that one of our greatest building tools is our words. Our words are so powerful. Dear ladies, the words we speak from day to day, the words that we use in our homes, the words that we speak to our husband, to our children, are how we build our marriage, how we build our family life. As this quote finishes, “Speaking the words of love, softness, and kindness, to all within her reach.” That is a beautiful description.

Today I want to talk about our words. Are you ready for this, ladies? Because I always find, when I come to this subject, I get really convicted. In fact, even as I have been going over some of the words in Scripture about the words that we speak, I’m convicted again. Oh, goodness me! We can go from day to day, think we’re doing great, but then, when we line up with the Scriptures, well, sometimes we don’t line up, do we?

The Scriptures are so wonderful! If we didn’t have the Scriptures, we’d just be living our own lives, doing what we wanted. But when we read the Scriptures, they give us God’s picture. They give us God’s standard. We’re either going to live by God’s standards, which is theophany, or we’re going to live by our own standards, which is autonomy. So many times, we just live by our own standards.

Are you going to come with me? We’ll look at some of the Scriptures about our words. This really gets down to the tin tacks. This really gets down to how we are living daily in our lives. It all reveals itself through what comes out of our mouths.

Actually, I found, guess what? I found 40 different descriptions of positive words that God wants us to use. It’s amazing. When I come to share about a subject and I go into the Word, I can never believe how many words I find! God doesn’t leave us in the dark, does He? He gives us so much! I found 40 different descriptions of words that we should be speaking in our homes to describe the kind of words that we speak. Let’s start.

No. 1. SWEET WORDS

I want to take you first to the Song of Solomon. Why I’m doing that is because the Song of Solomon is a picture of the Bride of Christ. We can read the Song of Solomon in three different ways, actually. You can read it as a literal book, the Song between the husband and the wife.

You can read it as something that can speak to you as a wife towards your husband, and your husband towards you.

We can also read it as a description of Christ and His Bride.

It is also descriptive of God and His Bride Israel, because He also looks upon Israel as His Bride.

We can read it in many ways as we can all the Scriptures. We can read the Scriptures. We can read them on the surface, and they speak to us. Or we can go into a greater depth and understanding. There is always more and more.

In the Song of Solomon it does talk about our words. We go to Song 2:14. Here it is the Bridegroom, it is Christ, speaking. Or, if you want to read it as the husband speaking to you. “O my dove, that art in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the stairs, let me see your countenance, let me hear your voice; for sweet is your voice, and your countenance is comely.”

That word “comely,” in the King James version, is a word that means “beautiful.” Today the word “comely” doesn’t have such a great meaning. It means more homely, but the word is actually “beautiful.” Here we see the desire of Christ, our Bridegroom, how He longs to see our countenance. He longs for us to come into His presence. He longs to see our faces. He longs to hear our voices. He says: “Your voice is sweet.” Oh, wow! What an amazing description!

But, of course, dear ladies, it is easy, isn’t it, to be sweet to the Lord. Maybe you’re having your quiet time with the Lord, and you wake up in the morning, and you get your Bible. You’re going to have your time with the Lord, and you sit there. You read the Word, and it speaks to your heart.

Oh, your spirit is burning within you, and you talk to the Lord, and you commune with Him. You’re feeling so great! You’re speaking these beautiful words of worship, and love, and sweetness to the Lord for all that He is to you—your Savior, your Redeemer, your Friend, your Rock, your Fortress. He is all you need.

But isn’t it true, ladies? You can be so sweet in the presence of the Lord. Then it’s time to get breakfast for the family! And the children are coming out, and some are screaming, and others are arguing, and everything’s happening at once! You’re trying to get breakfast, and it’s just bedlam! And all of a sudden, you’re yelling and screaming! Help!

Only a few minutes before you were all so saintly and holy and sweet in the presence of the Lord. That can happen, can’t it? Because life is real, and yes, when we have all our little ones around us, motherhood is a challenge. But, of course, in the midst of this challenge, we can learn also to know the presence of the Lord.

Not just when we’re sitting all on our own with the Lord, but even in the midst of all that’s happening, and all the yelling, and everyone wanting you at once, that’s where we can learn to know His presence, even in these times. And how we can learn to speak sweetly, even in these times. Wow! Do you think you can do that? This is where the challenge is, isn’t it?

Let’s go to another Scripture in the Song of Solomon. Let’s have a look at this one. Here, the Bridegroom is speaking again. Song of Solomon 4:3: “Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is beautiful.” If we’re reading it as a husband-and-wife relationship, can your husband say that to you? “Oh, my darling, your words are so beautiful!” Wow! That’s a real challenge, isn’t it?

Then we go down to verse 11 of this chapter. Here the Bridegroom is speaking again: “Thy lips, O my spouse, drop as the honeycomb: honey and milk are under thy tongue; and the smell of thy garments is like the smell of Lebanon.” Here our heavenly Bridegroom is likening our communion with Him, and our worship with Him as the sweet dripping words.

But this should also be our relationship with our husband, so that when we’re speaking to him, we are dripping sweet words. Because what does it say? “Your lips drop like the honeycomb.” What drips out of the honeycomb? Honey, of course! And what does honey taste like, ladies? Honey tastes sweet. It's really sweet. That’s the picture of the kind of words that we should be speaking to our husbands each day.

Are you speaking sweet words? Wow! Sometimes we don’t speak sweet words. But this is what we need to get into the habit of. “Honey and milk are under thy tongue.” That means that sweetness and nourishment is coming out from under our tongues. Oh, I think you may like to go back and read those Scriptures again. They’re not there just for pretty words. They are there to give us a picture of not only the relationship with our heavenly Bridegroom, but the relationship we are to have with our husband.

Yes, our husbands on earth, where everything is also not so perfect, and they may not always say the right thing to us. Or they may even hurt us, or you’re feeling like you’re getting rubbed up the wrong way. But what is going to come out of your mouth? I can remember. I think, over the years, I have learned to speak this way more with my husband.

I have to confess I didn’t always start this way. I remember when I’d start to get up on my high horse, and my husband would say to me, “Nancy, you’ve got to speak sweet words to me!” Then, of course, what could I do? Help! I had to speak sweet words. That’s what he expected of me! That’s what he wanted from me. Can I encourage you, dear ladies? You might think, “Oh, this sounds all sloppy!” No! It is Bible, and it is beautiful, and it’s what your husband longs for. He longs for sweet words from you.

And what about your children? Not only do we determine the kind of marriage we’ll have by the words that we speak, but we’re molding our children’s lives by the words that we speak. Are we speaking to them harshly, critically, sharply? Or are you speaking sweet words? Oh, may the Holy Spirit speak to our hearts and remind us that this is how He wants us to be. This is what He wants dripping from our lips—sweet words. Amen?

No. .2. AFFIRMING WORDS

We’re going to go on to some other character traits of our words. I think I’ll now go and put them in alphabetical order. We’ll go to number two: affirming words. I’ll speak about some of them. I won’t speak about everyone, because as I said, I found 40 different characteristics. We’d be here forever if we spoke about them all.

But affirming words are very important words. How wonderful to affirm your children when they do well! So often, we’re always having to correct them because they do so many stupid things. We could be correcting them all day long!

In fact, I remember when I was raising our children. I began to think, “Oh, I’m just telling them not to do this, and do that, da dah, da dah, da dah, all the day long!” I thought, “I’ve got to work it out. I can’t do this. I can’t live like this!” So, I decided I would only correct them for that which was really rebellion, disobedience, and that which was contrary to the Word of God. But just the little things of childishness, knocking over the chair, doing this, jumping around. I would just let them go, because they were children!

You’re either going to be yelling at them all day long, and then they don’t even realize what is most important. I believe it is important that they know what is important, so that when there is rebellion, when there is disobedience, you deal with them for that. They know that they can’t get away with those things. But then, little childish things that they don’t mean to do, I would just let them go.

Then, when they do good things, oh, to affirm them! “Oh, I’m so proud of you!”

“Oh, that was so good!”

“Oh, I’m so blessed that God has given you to me!”

“You’re growing up to be such a fine boy!”

“Oh, I can’t believe you’re so obedient to whatever Mommy says! I’m so blessed!”

You affirm every good thing in their lives. Constantly affirm your children. It is so important! They will grow and blossom with your affirming words. They will cringe and bow down by your negative words to them. Be encouraged to use affirming words.

No. 3. BLESSING WORDS

I wonder if you listened to my podcast number 240, when I spoke about the Shabbat meal. If you didn’t hear that podcast, go back and listen to it.

Every Friday night, in our home, we celebrate the Shabbat meal. It is the most beautiful meal. It’s my favorite meal, my favorite time of every week in our home. It’s a blessing meal. It’s a meal where the husband blesses his wife. He tells her all the wonderful things he thinks about her. It’s also where he, as the father, blesses personally each one of his children.

It’s a very important meal. Every week, the wife in the home is blessed. Of course, she blesses her husband. Every week, the children are blessed. Oh, you’ve got to listen to the podcast! You will be so encouraged about that. Of course, you don’t have to wait for just once a week! We need to have that mentality of blessing, so we’re constantly blessing.

I’m sure many of you will, as your children go to bed at night, you will bless them as they’re going off to bed. You can’t bless your children enough! The Bible says there was a time in the Old Testament where it was the priest who did the blessing. But now, Revelation tells us that we are all kings and priests unto our God. You are a priest, and therefore you have a responsibility to bless people.

But you start with your husband and start with your children. If you can’t bless them, well, there’s not much use blessing other people! But if you start in your home, then it becomes a lifestyle, to bless others.

In fact, blessing is a wonderful key when we face things in life, when people speak against us, when they gossip about us, when they say hurtful things about us. When that happens, you don’t feel too happy, do you? I have to confess you don’t usually feel like blessing that person. But that is what the Bible says! That when people curse you, when they say things about you, when they even tell lies about you, what does the Bible say? To bless them!

It tells us this in 1 Peter 3:9 and also in Matthew 5:44 to bless them. Have you ever tried that? It really works. God’s ways work. When you bless those who have spoken against you, or reviled you, or even persecuted you, it not only releases you from being bitter towards them, but it will release them! It has the power to do such wonderful things. So, be a blessing person! Amen?

No. 4. BEAUTIFUL WORDS

No. 5. CHEERFUL WORDS

Cheerful words come from a merry heart. It’s hard to have cheerful words if your heart is not merry.

Proverbs 15:13: “A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance,” (and also helps us to say cheerful words) “But by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.”

Proverbs 17:22: “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”

There’s an interesting passage in 1 Kings 1. In verse 40, it tells us something incredibly amazing. This was when they were crowning Solomon to be king, and all the people were rejoicing. It says: “And all the people came up after him. The people piped with pipes and rejoiced with great joy, so that the earth split with the sound of them.” 

Have you ever heard of such a thing in earth? In the King James it says: “And the earth rent.” If you look it up in the Hebrew, it means, “to split apart.” Wow! It was like an earthquake! Can you believe it? The sound was so powerful that it actually split the earth!

Well, that is actually the same word for a merry heart! Wow! That’s a wonderful thing to have in your home, isn’t it? That will cause you to say cheerful words. How your husband loves to hear cheerful words! Oh, he doesn’t really want to be around a negative, complaining, groaning, sad wife. Help! Nobody wants to be around us when we’re like that! Cheerfulness draws people to you.

No. 6. COMFORTING WORDS

No. 7. DELIGHTFUL WORDS

No. 8. ENCOURAGING WORDS

Oh yes, how important it is to be constantly encouraging, to make encouraging words a habit of your life! It’s sad that there are many, many people who have grown up without encouraging words. They weren’t encouraged by their parents. Therefore, it’s quite a new thing for them to learn to encourage their own children, to encourage their husband, to encourage others.

I was very blessed to be brought up in an encouraging home. My father especially, was a very encouraging man. He constantly encouraged. In fact, he encouraged me beyond what I knew I was worthy of. I think his encouragement did wonders for my life. Sometimes I look back on my childhood. I don’t think there was much to encourage there. Yet, he saw stuff that maybe nobody else saw, that only God saw. He encouraged me.

I know there is so much in life I’m even doing now that I would not be doing without his encouragement. He lifted me up to beyond where I even believed that I ever could be. That’s what encouragement does. It lifts people up to a higher plane. I believe encouragement is so important. It has to become part of our lives, dear wives and mothers, if you really want to build strong marriages and a strong family life, starting with your husband. Do you really encourage him?

You know, as the years go by in your marriage, you can get so used to one another. Sometimes faults and little things that you never saw when you fell in love, you begin to see. You get discouraged, and you no longer see this man as you once saw him. You’re no longer encouraging. Because you’re no longer encouraging, he’s getting more and more down in the dumps.

We have to lift one another up. I think it’s a very important thing to try to think of at least one encouraging thing that you can say to your husband every day, and to each of your children. Sometimes you’ve got to do something to check out whether you’re really doing it. It’s easy . . . the days go by . . . weeks go by . . . if you stop and analyze, you think, “Oh, Have I been encouraging my husband lately? Well, you can’t even think when you last encouraged him!

Here’s a little idea. You can get a little notebook, and you can write the days. Then you can write underneath your husband’s name, and then the names of each of your children. At the end of the day, just do your checklist. “Did I encourage my husband today? Wow! Help, I don’t think I did!” Well, better start thinking about what you’re going to say to him tomorrow, because you don’t want to miss out again on another day.

Each of your children. . . “Yes, Suzy, oh yes, I did encourage her. Actually, she’s so easy to encourage. But Johnny! Oh, help! Oh God, what can I encourage him about? Oh, goodness me!” And ask the Lord to help you, Ask Him to show you. Often the one who’s most difficult to encourage is the one who needs encouraging the most!

Do your checklist. Check each one, and put a cross if you didn’t do it. And keep checking out every night until you’re getting ticks for every name in your family! And until it becomes a habit of your life. Amen?

I believe that encouragement is the rich soil in which

we grow our children to their full destiny.

Here's some Scriptures. Proverbs 10:21, New Living Translation: “The words of the godly encourage many.”

Proverbs 12:25: “Heaviness in the heart of a man maketh it stoop; but a good word maketh it glad.”

I love The Living Bible Translation of this Scripture: “A word of encouragement does wonders.”

Did you get that? I’ll say it again. “A word of encouragement DOES WONDERS.” Do you literally need some wonders or some miracles in your marriage? Well, let me tell you. Encouragement does wonders! Yes! It does miracles! If you’ve just been saying negative things about your husband, maybe even to others, or to him, these negative words are going to cause your husband to curl up in a ball, and not be in any way attentive to you. He’s going to get more and more inattentive.

Just start encouraging. Ask the Lord, “What can I say to encourage him?” Think of some good thing and say it! If you can’t even get enough courage to say it, write it, and put it in a little special place where he will see it. Maybe put it in his sock so he'll find it when he’s putting his sock on. Think of something different. Think of some unique way but get the message to him.

You may not find he’ll change with one word but keep doing it. Just keep encouraging, and you will find that miracles will begin to happen. It works because the Scripture is true. The same happens with your children. You will see wonders happen.

1 Thessalonians 5:11: “So encourage each other, and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” You’re doing it? Just keep doing it more! OK?

Hebrews 3:13: “Exhort thus to encourage one another once a month.” Oops! Sorry! No, it didn’t say “once a month.” “Encourage one another once a week.” No! It didn’t even say that! What does it say? “Encourage one another daily.”

Did you get that, ladies? Daily. It has to become a daily thing. That’s why it’s great to have that little checklist and check yourself every night to see if this is becoming a daily thing with your husband, and with your children. You can gradually work it up, until it is something that happens daily in your life.

No. 9. EDIFYING WORDS

Edifying words mean building words. Edifying means “to build up.”

Ephesians 4:29: “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

If what you’re going to say is not going to build up your husband, it’s not going to build up your children, it’s not going to build up those you’re talking with, well, don’t say it! Unless it’s going to edify, unless it’s going to build up, it’s not worth saying, because this is how you build your family: with your words.

No. 10. FORGIVING WORDS

Oh, these are so powerful, aren’t they?

Matthew 18:35: “So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not everyone his brother their trespasses.”

Ephesians 4:32: “Be ye kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake, hath forgiven you.”

Every one of us has experienced things in our lives where we need to forgive. People have done things against us. People have said things against us. But we dare not hold any bitterness. Dear precious ladies, oh, if there’s even the slightest bit of bitterness in your heart, root it out, throw it out, cast it out! Forgive, because bitterness destroys you. I have seen bitterness destroy people, even cause them to die early. Bitterness is so destructive.

God knows what is so good for us, what is so healing. Forgiveness is healing. You never feel like doing it. You don’t do it because of your feelings. You do it by faith. You do it because God has told us to do it. Amen? You forgive your husband. You forgive whoever it is who has hurt you. There’s such power in forgiveness.

No. 11. FORTIFYING WORDS

No. 12. GRATEFUL WORDS

Always being grateful.

No. 13. GRACIOUS WORDS

 In Luke 4:22, speaking about Jesus, it says: “And all bare Him witness, and wondered at the gracious words which proceeded out of His mouth.”

Colossians 4:6: “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how you ought to answer every man.” That word “gracious” is the Greek word charis.

Actually, that is the second name that we called our daughter Serene. Her name is Serene Charis. It means “gracious.” It actually means “to give joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, loveliness, graciousness.” This is what our speech is to be like.

No. 14. GENTLE WORDS

 Proverbs 15:4, New Living Translation: “Gentle words are a tree of life.”

Proverbs 15:4, the Amplified: “A gentle tongue, with its healing power, is a tree of life.”

No. 15: HAPPY WORDS

Well, I see that I’m already coming to the end of this session, so, ladies, we’ll do another session to finish them off, because there’s more yet. I pray that, as I’ve been sharing these words, your heart will be touched.

I am convicted again by all these words. It’s so good, isn’t it, to keep our lives up to scratch, keep them aligned with the Word of God. Dear precious, lovely ladies, remember, it’s your words—

It’s your words that make or break your marriage.

It’s your words that build up or destroy your home.

 

“Dear Father, I pray for every wife and mother and daughter listening. I pray that You will fill them with Your Holy Spirit. I pray that You will give them grace to speak all these beautiful words, Lord, these sweet words, these gracious words, oh, God, all these beautiful words we’ve been speaking about today, I pray that their homes will be filled with these words, Lord God. In the precious Name of Jesus. Amen.

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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www.aboverubies.org

Transcribed by Darlene Norris * This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

 

Tell other wives and mothers about these podcasts and transcripts!

 

More Scriptures about BLESSING

Proverbs 20:22; Romans 12:14, 17; and 1 Corinthians 4:12.

More Scriptures about FORGIVING

Matthew 6:12-15; 18:21-35; Mark 11:25, 26; Luke 23:34; Romans 12:19-21; and Colossians 3:13.

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 294: Seven-Year Battle with Cancer, Part 3

Arden is now building back his body. He is also beginning his new venture, along with Cal Calhoon, called UNDEFEATED MEN, in order to encourage men to rise up in courage to face their challenges and difficulties. Go to https://undefeatedmen.com. You can also find them on Facebook and Instagram.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! And young people, and even gentlemen! Whoever is listening. I hope there are many guys who are listening to this series with Arden and Esther.

We are back again for the third session because the story hasn’t finished yet. Today Arden and Esther are going to tell you how God has been leading them as he came through the stem cell transplant and had to get his health back from nothing . . . ack again, and what he’s been doing about it and then what they are doing now.

Arden: Absolutely. I hope you guys aren’t tired of listening to me.

Nancy: No, we are loving every minute of it!

Arden: Obviously, over the years, I’d developed a huge passion for health and a love for it. Then after the stem cell, it hit me that I really needed to focus on building my body back up because it was torn down. I applied everything that I had been learning over the years. I don’t eat sugar. I eat a very clean diet. I don’t eat wheat.

I’m a health freak. I’ve turned into my mother! I was a health freak! One day it hit me. I’m like, “Man! I’m like my mom!” Not as crazy a health freak as she is but people would say I am. All my cousins and people will go out and eat here or whatever. I’m like, “No, I won’t.” I’m crazy like that.

Nancy: Well, when you’ve been through what you have and your body’s been down to absolutely nothing, you’re not going to build it back up to just be weakened and open to infection and everything.

Arden: Exactly. I’ve come to the belief, to the realization, that pretty much everything that we go through as far as physical illness can be traced down to, the majority can be traced down to diet and what we eat. We eat so much . . . I’ve researched over the years. We eat so much crap! Even what awful food that’s in our diet as a western culture. A lot of other cultures eat a lot better than we do.

Esther and I went back to China in 2017. Their food is a lot better. The unhealthy people, the younger generation that was introduced to western food and stuff like that, their diets are a lot more balanced.

Our meals are huge. There are a lot of carbs and they’re not well-balanced. Obviously, like my mother, her whole plan and everything drilled into me. Everything clicked. I’m like, “Hey I need to. . . If I want to do this and live long . . .”

Nancy: So, what are some of the things that you’ve found that are just so normal that people are eating today? Every normal guy would be eating that you now would not eat.

Arden: Number one is gluten and fried foods. Trans-fats. Chips. Potato chips. A lot of fried food.

Nancy: I wouldn’t put a potato chip in my mouth!

Arden: Not good for you. Sugar, especially when you’re dealing with any kind of sickness. Especially cancer. Sugar in anybody, it’s not good for you, but with sickness it’s not good.

Nancy: I am amazed that people still have sugar in their houses! If you don’t have it, you’re not going to eat it!

Arden: I know that people had other health issues. There were other diseases back in the early 1800’s, late 1800’s, early 1900’s. But people back then, on average, had a pound of sugar a year. A pound of sugar a year! We have that probably almost on a weekly basis, as an American culture, on average. Or even on a daily basis. It’s crazy what we have.

It’s a fallen world. Humanity twisted foods, played with them, and tweaked them. “Hey! This is going to be better!” White flour, and all this crazy stuff, and processed foods. Stay away from processed foods. They’re not good for you. My diet has pushed all those things away. I haven’t touched a fast-food restaurant since this whole thing started.

Esther: That’s one thing we did do during his whole cancer journey and while doing chemotherapy. We did do a lot of work building his body back up. Making sure he has a clean diet to help support the conventional treatment as much as possible, so that his body could recover from it faster.

Arden: Exactly. If you’ve listened to the last two podcasts, and then to this one, don’t think that I’m an advocate for just traditional medicine, or unconventional. I think both. With the healthy diet. . . both sides of the fence can be like, “My way or the highway, just this, just that.” But I think it’s the well-balanced treatment.  

Esther: That’s what worked.

Arden: That’s what worked for me, ultimately, because I believe God likes balance. He likes balance. We often tip over on one side or the other and take it to the extremes.

With all that said, it’s always been on my heart to encourage people. I didn’t know how. I didn’t know if I was able to, or capable of it. I was shy. I’m not good at being on podcasts. I’m an extrovert. My wife is giving me faces. [laughter] I’m not shy one-on-one. I just don’t like big crowds, like talking in front of people. But this is doing things that make you grow, being uncomfortable.

Esther: Not only that, we have quite a history behind us. I always thought that if we were able to bless even one other person, help one other person, it would make it worth it. To encourage them, because God never lets us go through something without refining us. Then our job is to share that with other people as best as we can. If we were to not learn from this, and move on, we’d be wasting all of it.

Arden: Exactly. Exactly. For a number of years I was like, “Why me? Why am I going through this? Why do I have to be the one? I’m Serene’s son. I’m healthy. I grew up eating healthy food. Why? Why? Why me?”

Then I came to the realization, “Why not me? Why not me?” I’ve actually gotten to the point where I’m thankful for what I went through because I've been able to encourage other people. My wife has been able to encourage other women. It’s been really great. The Bible says: “In this world, you’ll go through trials and tribulations, but have comfort. I’ve overcome the world.”

That’s always comforted me. We go through hard things, but God hammers us out to refined gold. It’s something beautiful. It’s always been on my heart. I’ve always wanted to encourage other people, and not just men, but really, real men. It’s been on my heart.

In this day and age, there are not a lot of good men out there. It’s not encouraged. There should be good men. My dad always pushed me. He’d wake me up in the morning, and he’s like, “Hey, do this job. Do that. Oh, you didn’t do it right. Get out there.” We don’t push ourselves as men. We don’t. Really as people too, as a society. We’re so comfortable with being comfortable.

Over the years, it hit me. I’m like, “No, I need to be a man. I push myself to my limits. My wife deserves the best man I can be. My family does. I need to . . .” Then I dig into the Word of God. The whole reason we’re here on this earth is to glorify God.

I was going through the motions. I was like, “Oh, I can’t do this, because I’m sick.” No! No, I don’t want that to be my life. I want to glorify God now! I can do that by living my life, and leading by example, and by being the best man I can be.

We’ve come up with this. It’s been in my heart for a number of years now. It’s just now come into fruition, which is “UNDEFEATED MEN.” It’s a health company, but it’s more than that. Right now, we have some products, some health products that can help you on your fitness journey if that’s what you’re interested in. I really strongly encourage you to work on fitness, whoever you are. We’re coming out with a podcast and with a book.

 I really want to encourage men to be real men, to push yourself to your limits. To encourage other men, to hang out with young men and teach them things that young men haven’t been taught. Not even young. Some older men don’t even know how to do some things. I’ve been around. We hold some events on our property. I’ve been around all over the place. Some men don’t know how to do things!

Nancy: No. It’s so sad.

Arden: I grew up doing things.

Nancy: In that, you were so blessed with your father. I can remember when you were young boys, in fact little boys. I don’t know whether you remember yourself. In those days, your father was out painting and doing all those kinds of things. Four o’clock in the morning, he’d be ready to go into a job in the city. He’d say, “OK, Arden! Your turn today! Come on! Get out of bed!” Out of bed at four, and out you went with him to work for a day!

Arden: I don’t know if you remember this too, but even when I was four years old, and some people might think this is extreme, or that my dad was being rough and overbearing. But he wasn’t. He literally made me better. God made him be my father. I came over to your house to do something, and he told me to run straight home.

Nancy: You had to run over to the Johnson’s, to get something. It was dark.

Arden: No, I had to come over to your house to get something. But you drove me back over to the house. He said, “No, I wanted you to walk.” He made me walk back to your house, and then you gave me a flashlight. He said, “No, I wanted you to walk without a flashlight.” I walked back to your house, and then I had to come back without a flashlight.

Nancy: I remember that.

Arden: All through my life, doing things like that.

Nancy: I thought, “That poor little boy!”

Arden: My mom was like, “Sam, you’re being too hard!”

Nancy: But he was training you.

Arden: He was like, “Hey! Let me teach him how to be a man!”

Nancy: Yes, he was training you.

Arden: I did it. When I was younger, I thought, “Poor me! My dad!” But no! Actually, it’s funny, because my dad has told me recently, and my dad’s my best friend now. That’s something I love. I’d rather hang out with him than most any other guy.

Nancy: I think that’s with all your brothers, isn’t it?

Arden: It’s interesting. My dad’s like, “Now you’re an adult, and you realize.” Over the years I didn’t realize the necessity, and the good things that came of that, and why he did that. Now I realize that I love that he did that. I love that he did that.

All that said, I’m a huge advocate, and I want to push other men, encourage other men, that when you’re going through something, big or small, whatever it is, small challenge, big challenge, it’s not a problem, it’s a challenge. Don’t look at your life as, “Oh, I’m going through this,” and let it define me. “I’m a sick person. Or my job this, or my job that. My broken leg this.”

Yes, I understand. I’m not trying to be insensitive. But think of it as a challenge. Rise to the occasion. Everyone goes through their issues. Everyone has issues. I’m not saying that, hey, just because I’m saying, “Undefeated Men,” that guys don’t fall down. We all fall down. We are meant to get back up again. Get back up again. That’s what it’s all about. That’s what I mean by that. “Undefeated Men” In God, in Christ, we are undefeated. That’s what it’s about. Like Granddad Bowen, that saying, “A good man is never stuck!” Always, my whole life, that’s been in my head.

Nancy: I love that, that you have taken that phrase as part of the . . .

Arden: Mantra. The main . . .

Nancy: The mantra for “Undefeated Men.” Oh, Arden, it’s so wonderful. Let me tell you a little bit more about that phrase. My father, that was one of the most common things he would say. “A GOOD MAN’S NEVER STUCK!” We’d hear him say that more than once a day. Anything that was a challenge, anybody else, they were saying, oh, they couldn’t do it. No, he would tackle it. “A good man’s never stuck!”

But the interesting thing is, Arden, that didn’t come only from him. He got it from his father. So, it has come down the generations. He would always tell us of his father. Like you were telling of your father, my father would often sit down and, oh, how he loved his father, because his father was a real man. That’s what he would talk about. “Oh, he was a real man, and he raised us to be real men!”

Arden: The thing is, it’s not just Granddad Bowen’s . . . It’s like, “Hey, we’ve got to get this job done right! We’ve got to get it done now!” He always instilled that, working with Granddad. It’s all passed on. It dies if you don’t pass it on. It dies if you don’t feed it, feed into that.

There’s something I heard a while back. If you had a wolf in the darkness, and a wolf in the light, which one survives? Which one grows? Some people will say, “The one in the light, obviously.” No, it’s the one you feed, the one you cultivate, the one you nurture.

We nurture sometimes our feelings, “Oh, I’m feeling bad. Oh, I’m this,” or “I can’t do this job,” or “Poor me!” But we need to be nurturing to decide, “Hey, no. I’m a man. I’m a son of God. I can overcome this.”

Nancy: Yes. Yes, that’s so true. So, you are blessed that you’ve got this spirit coming down from your father, and also from our side of the family. In fact, my father would say that his father would also tell him, “You can’t put a good man down!”

He’d say, “Never throw in the towel!”

He’d say, “We were raised on those statements.”

He raised all his five sons to be great men, tough men, godly men, but who knew how to be real men. In fact, at my father’s funeral, many people came to me. I remember someone getting up at one of the speeches. There were many speeches there. They said, “Well, this is the last of the men who were a breed like this.” We don’t even have them today.

Arden: The thing is, it’s sad, because I know there are good men out there. I know there are. So, I’m not saying there aren’t any. But really, in my generation, and younger than me, it’s almost extremely rare. They’re not getting raised that way. That’s what it’s about.

Nancy: And to be raised to be men!

Arden: They’re not being encouraged by other men, father figures, even if their dad, grandfather. Granddad Bowen died, I believe, when I was like nine or ten, right?

Nancy: Yes.

Arden: The last time I saw him, I was like six or seven. He hadn’t come back to the States from New Zealand. But he instilled all that. The thing is, some of the things that I do, my passions in my life, came from him. My father and my grandfather don’t even do it. Like I love hunting.

Nancy: Yes, he was a passionate hunter.

Arden: Naturally he instilled that. My father and my grandfather never taught me.

Nancy: That gift has come down.

Arden: Passed down, yeah.

Nancy: Yes, I remember when he, of course, he was a world champion shearer. The day that he broke the world record, he cut his hand on the second sheep.

Arden: I love this story.

Nancy: Many men would say, “OK, that’s it.”

Arden: It was a big gash.

Nancy: He just kept on. He put his hand out while they stitched it up, and he kept on shearing, and broke the world’s record.

Arden: I love that.

Nancy: Because “A good man’s never stuck!

Arden: This is something that Cal and I say, and this is the intro to our podcast. It’ll be launching soon. It’s not about win or lose. It’s about win or learn. Oftentimes we think losing is sad, so we don’t get back up. But nobody starts off great out of the gate. Nobody starts off a master at something, or super-skilled at something. It’s getting up.

It’s falling down and getting back up again, learning to go through the rough times, the hard times, and getting back up. That’s something that’s definitely not taught. I do. I take it to the extreme. I do cold plunges.

Nancy: Now tell us, what do you do these days to keep your body fit?

Arden: I work out three to four times a week, mainly heavy weight training, and some high-intensity cross-fit style thrown in there. I do cold plunges. I’ve been doing cold plunges for over a year now.

Nancy: You’ve been doing them through the snow?

Arden: Actually, no, because I was getting over a bug.

Nancy: That’s right! You got what I got, the bug, and you got the bug.

Arden: I got two bugs, but yeah. Doing cold plunges, which is incredible for circulation, and inflammation, and a plethora of other issues. But as for me being a health freak, I’ve got to do everything.

Nancy: Do you like them better when it’s freezing in the wintertime?

Arden: I do. You get more health benefits.

Nancy: You get more out of them then.

Arden: It’s funny, because I’ve coaxed my dad into fitness and health. My mom was trying for years to get him to adopt it and love it like I do. His health took a turn for the worse and he’s not very healthy. Then over the last two years, I’ve really got him to dig down deep, and he loves it. We do it together now.

Nancy: Oh, that’s so amazing, because you’ve got the big gym in the house there, in your mom and dad’s house. That is so cool. Oh, boy, but they say that cold plunges are not really good for women.

Arden: There are a lot of studies out there.

Nancy: What do you think about that?

Arden: From what I’ve studied into, and I’ve studied a decent amount, it is not the best for women. Now, I’m not an expert on that. I haven’t done a huge amount of research on it, but my mom has. It’s not the best for women’s hormones.

Nancy: Although I like to have a cold shower at the end of my shower.

Arden: I think that’s good.

Nancy: I read somewhere that 30 seconds cold after your shower turns on the vagus nerve, so I usually do that.

Arden: I think that’s fine. That’s good for you.

Nancy: What would you, and Esther, you and Arden, what do you do in your diet to keep healthy, the two of you? What’s your daily diet?

Arden: There’s a lot that goes into that. She and I eat similarly, but I obviously eat a lot more. A lot of healthy, whole food. No processed foods. Raw milk.

Esther: Well, very few as possible. Very few processed foods as possible. I don’t buy very many at all. A lot of greens when we can get them. We love your mom’s sourdough bread. She makes sourdough bread, and we literally live off that.

Nancy: Oh, you live off her sourdough? You are spoiled!

Esther: Yes, I’m so spoiled!

Nancy: Because her sourdough is the best in the world!

Arden: It’s incredible.

Nancy: Mine’s second best. [laughter]

Arden: I love yours too, Nana. But yes, sourdough bread, grass-fed meats.

Nancy: Which you shoot yourself.

Arden: A lot of venison, a lot of beef, eggs, farm-fresh eggs. I do eat non-farm-fresh eggs, but I prefer them. I have the others on occasion if I don’t have access. But the majority of the time, I eat farm-fresh, farm-raised eggs. Brown rice.

Esther: A lot of whole foods, whole grains. We try to get things in their natural state because that’s how God created them.

Nancy: That’s right. That’s the basic way to eat, isn’t it?

Arden: A good balance of your carbs and proteins and fats.

Nancy: The other thing is, oh yes! You know, we were talking the other day. How much time do we have left in this session? (Talk with helper recording the session.) We were talking the other day, Arden. When you get married, and you guys have been married how many years now?

Arden: Eight.

Nancy: Wow, isn’t that amazing?

Arden: Before we get into that, can I say one more thing?

Nancy: Yes.

Arden: It’s about “UNDEFEATED MEN.” Listeners, if there are any men, or, women, tell your men. It’s a call to action. You don’t have to subscribe to the “Undefeated Men” although I’d love to see you all there. You don’t have to have our products to have that mentality and live that life. I just wanted to make that clear now. Our products are amazing.

Our dream and our mission are encouragement and helping guide men along their health, spiritual fitness, and mental journey. Mentally, spiritually, and physically help them with that. Right now, it’s products because we can do that, but we have a lot of awesome ideas for the future.

Go to: https://undefeatedmen.com where we have several products. But we have a lot more coming for encouragement.

Nancy: And I will list that exactly in the transcript.

Arden: And we have a Facebook and Instagram too.

Nancy: Yes. Yes. That will be so good. It’s interesting, isn’t it, that you and Cal are doing that together. Cal is married to my niece, my brother’s daughter. The interesting thing is that Granddad Bowen really has influenced what you are doing, because not only did he influence you, just as a young boy, but he’s influenced the whole family.

“A GOOD MAN’S NEVE STUCK” is just part of our vocab in our family life here on the Hilltop.

Arden: Granddad Bowen is the reason why Uncle Cal became a Christian.

Nancy: Yes, that’s right. On his honeymoon, Melissa took him to meet her grandparents. He believed in God, of course, but he didn’t really know him personally. Granddad was able to lead him to know the Lord personally. It’s all very special, isn’t it?

Arden: Yeah, I’m so excited to work with him. He’s such a great man, an awesome man, a man of God, a great husband and a great father. He’s encouraged me.

Nancy: Yes, they have 11 children.

Arden: We have a lot of great stuff. If you guys are interested, feel free to keep an eye out.

Nancy: In the last few minutes, we were talking of how important it is, when you get married, to bring into your marriage the strength of each family. Many families have weaknesses, and they have strengths. Sometimes all the weaknesses can come in.

We were thinking, yes, it’s quite something to really think about this. To think about the strengths of each one of your families and how important it is to make them part of your married life that becomes even stronger again, doesn’t it? Have you got any thoughts there, on things you brought from either of your families?

Arden: This has been something that Esther and I have agreed on. We talked about it before we were married. But really in the beginning of our marriage, going through everything . . . I believe that every generation is meant to be better than the last.

Esther: Better than the last one.

Arden: Better than the last one.

Nancy: We should all be growing, and learning, and strengthening, yes!

Arden: I want to help my daughter, and if we have any other children to come, to encourage them to become even better believers, that is, stronger people. With that said, we decided, “Hey, we want to take the best qualities from each family and cultivate them in our marriage and our family.” 

You can see every family has strengths and weaknesses. You take the weaknesses, and you put them aside. You pool the strengths. It’s really a beautiful thing when you can see the weaknesses, and you can see the strengths. Lots of people don’t want to see. “Oh, we can’t see that. We don’t want to see the issues.” I’ve learned a lot from her family, and from her. It’s beautiful, pulling the great things from her side, and pulling the great things from my side, and meshing them into one.

Esther: What you’re giving, when it comes to parenting, I think a lot of the core values were the same, but there were different methods of addressing them and applying them to their lives. I think, especially, because we’re still rather new parents too. Our daughter’s only four. We’ve really gone over the way we grew up, and taking the best of both worlds, and combining them together to raise our daughter, who we really love.

Nancy: Any particular thing that you would think of?

Esther: I think both families did a really good job of, first of all, being very vocal about their love. We love that. We feel that it’s really important to openly show your love. Especially as they grow up, because I’ve heard the stories where they’ll say, “I know my dad loves me, but he never said that to me.” Thankfully, both our parents were incredible in showing that and vocalizing it. We’ve really tried to do that with our daughter.

Arden: We took that. Like my family, everyone. . . some people might say, “I love you” is over the top,” but we all say, “I love you.” Also, another thing from my family is communication.

Nancy: I think that’s a big thing in your family. They won’t let one thing go. You’ve got to talk it out!

Arden: If you have an issue, you can’t go hide in your room, or this, or that. You talk about it. You have to get it out in the open and air out your dirty laundry. It creates a really good environment.

We don’t want to walk around on eggshells in our own house. We don’t want to . . . Like, “What’s going on in here?” “I don’t know.” If my wife is upset, she’s going to tell me. We talk about it. If I’m upset, I’m going to tell her, and we talk about it, instead of being like, “Hey, what’s going on?” “Nothing.”

Nancy: I think that’s very, very common, isn’t it? Nobody wants to bring things to the surface. That’s one thing in your family. You won’t let anything, nothing, hide! Nothing’s hidden!

Arden: Dad would just echo, “Family meeting!” It’s about me. Everyone’s involved in my issue. It allowed for a really good, healthy environment. That was good. Then with her family, they were very good at . . . I was never good at debating. This is on the lighter side. I was never good at debating, even theologically.

They really challenged me that way. I love that, because I was always like, “Oh, I believe this in my family. I read it here,” but my father-in-law really challenged me. He was like, “Hey, do you believe this? Do you know this?” And “Why do you believe that?” I was like, “Oh, wow!” So, I actually had to dig.

That was like during the whole dating process with Esther, and early marriage. That was something I learned from them. Whatever I believe, whether theologically, I had to back it up. You back it up, because their whole family is built off huge amounts of logic. That was something I learned. In any argument, or even a fun argument, you have to have logic. You have to have something to back it up. That was something.

Esther: Vanderlaan’s are known for saying what they mean.

Arden: Saying what they think.

Esther: Yes, saying what we think. I want to teach my daughter that. I want her to be able to be concise, be clear. I want her to be like what Arden was saying, to back up what she says with logic and the Bible.

My father was an excellent spiritual leader. He was really big on that, and my mother was very good at co-casting to that. He was really good about doing devotions. He was good about catechism. He was really good at teaching us how to, like Arden was saying, be clear and concise. And always back things up with biblical truth. It’s not how you feel, it’s what the Bible says!

Nancy: Amen!

Esther: That was a really, really great thing, especially when I’m becoming an adult. I’m so glad my father and my mother taught me to push out the emotion. It’s all about Bible truth. Who cares how you feel?

Arden: And I’m not saying my family was bad at that. It’s just that was Esther’s family’s strength.

Nancy: Some have more strengthening, yes.

Arden: It’s their strength. They were great at it. There’s a lot of more of that.

Nancy: These have been three wonderful sessions. Thank you so much, Arden and Esther.

Arden: Thank you for having us.

Esther: Thank you for having us.

Nancy: It’s been so wonderful. I know you’ve all enjoyed them. They’ve bared their hearts and you’ve become part of their lives. Men will be able to get involved with “Undefeated Men.”

Arden: I have a book coming out, with my whole journey, and things that I’ve learned from God. God’s really spoken to my heart. I really want to encourage other men on a lot of the journey.

Nancy: That will be great. And, of course, if you haven’t got Esther’s cookbook yet, well, you’ll just love to get that.

“Lord God, we thank You so much that, Lord, You are in the journey of our lives. Lord, everything we go through, You are there. Lord, You are always with us. We thank You that we’ve been able to hear what You have done in Arden and Esther’s lives.

“Lord, we pray Your blessing again today on everyone listening. Pour out Your blessing, Your peace, Your unity, Lord, all Your beautiful Presence upon their homes. We ask in Jesus’ Name. Amen. Amen.”

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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www.aboverubies.org

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LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 293: Seven-Year Battle with Cancer, Part 2

The story continues. God does an unbelievable miracle and Arden and Esther are blessed with little Gethsemane! Arden's body resists continuing cancer treatments and so they must face stem cell transplant. Esther publishes TRIM HEALTHY MAMA INDULGENCE.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! We’re back here with Arden and Esther, sitting here with me, and continuing to tell the story. There’s so much more yet, but they also have a wonderful story that, against all odds, in the middle of all this chemotherapy year after year after year, God did something very wonderful. Do you want to share, Esther?

Esther: Yes. Throughout the years, obviously, we desperately wanted a baby. But we knew that going through chemo, it was really unlikely we were going to going to have a baby on chemo. Even if we got a clean scan, and he was able to get off of chemo for a while, your body needs time to heal. After all he had been through, even the doctor said it might happen, but it also might not. It probably won’t.

Arden: They specified that.

Esther: It probably won’t. I had a chemical pregnancy in 2017. That was fun. I guess it brought my hopes down even further. Obviously, I tried to live my life in a way where my life didn’t depend on children. My worth didn’t depend on children. I am not valued more or less than a mom with a lot of children.

I was trying to find my hope and I didn’t see in God. As much as I wanted children, I had to put that on the altar to God. He was asking me, is He more important, or are the children more important to me?

Arden: Because she was going through a hard time, watching everyone around here.

Nancy: Oh! Everyone having babies on the Hilltop!

Arden: She w a mother at heart before she wanted children. She’s one of a dozen children. She was always very caring. She’s responsible. She did so much, and she wanted children, watching everyone else have children. We were married years before, and that was tough.

Esther: One of my life-long dreams too was to be a mother. So, I had to come to the end of myself twice. Well, all the time, but twice in a monumental way. I feel like in my life so far, and with Arden, I had to be willing to. . .

God put him on the altar, like the altar, like the altar that Abraham put Isaac on. God told me, “Am I more important, or Arden, to you?” I had to say, “God!” Then God blessedly gave Arden back to me, and said, “Fine, you can keep him. He’s yours now.” I do try to keep everything with a loose hand, because ultimately, it’s all God’s.

Then I had to do that with childbearing, because I really, really, wanted children. It was one of my passions and dreams. I had dreamed of it from the time I was a little, little girl. It didn’t feel fair that I had to put that one on the altar as well, but I had to.

God said, “Who’s more important to you? Me, or the children?” It took time, and it took a lot of struggling and fighting. But in the end, obviously God is more important. Without children I can still live a wonderful, full life, because I have Him.

However, God in his gracious kindness, did give me a baby. Arden had been off chemo for a little. He had just gotten a clear scan. We were giving his body a break to get through all that crap. On January 11 of 2019. . .

Arden: Actually, I was going to add to that. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. But I was going to add to that. I had gotten clear scans, and they were actually wanting me to do a stem cell, but we didn’t feel like we wanted to do a stem cell at that point.

Esther: We didn’t feel like it was the right time.

Arden: Yes. That’s the miracle.

Nancy: Yes.

Esther: Exactly. I never take, or I have learned not to take pregnancy tests early, because it’s rather disheartening to find negative after negative after negative. I had the two faint positives from the chemical pregnancy, but every other test I had taken was a negative pregnancy test. It was disheartening and discouraging and so on. Three years in, I had learned a long time ago to stop taking early pregnancy tests.

But strangely enough, on January 11, 2019, I had this random urge to take a pregnancy test. I was early. I was a week early. I would not normally take a pregnancy test then. It didn’t make any sense. Arden was out hunting, so I was like, “Well, he won’t know if I take it or not. If it’s negative, I’ll throw it away. He’ll never know.”

But for some reason, I felt this sporadic urge to take a pregnancy test! I took it, and I had to wait the five minutes that they recommend to make sure of your full results. So, I stepped away, did a couple of things, and then I stepped back to it.

To my absolute shock and awe, it was positive! I didn’t believe it at all. Honestly, between that day and the next morning, I took eight pregnancy tests in total because I didn’t believe it! It was so hard for me to believe it.

Arden: The funny thing is, well, generally I’m always late from hunting.

Esther: I’m married to a hunter, you know. There is no time frame for them. If they say they’re coming back at ten, they may come back at eight. They might come back at noon and noon is more likely!

Arden: That morning, I’d gone hunting. I was like, “You know what? I just feel like going home and spending time with my wife.” It was the one morning. . .

Esther: The one morning, if you’d been late, it would have been perfectly fine, because I was trying to figure out a way to tell him.

God gave me, He blessed me with a really easy pregnancy. I had very little morning sickness. It was a very good pregnancy. It was wonderful. We found out midway we were having a baby girl, which is honestly, so wonderful. I’d really wanted a little girl. I was so happy with whatever God gave us, but I did really want a little girl.

Arden: All of that year, 2019, I was doing natural treatment in Arizona, so I was not going to Vanderbilt and doing low-dose chemotherapy there. I was doing a low-dose immune chemotherapy.

Esther: Immunotherapy.

Arden: Immunotherapy in Arizona.

Esther: So, 2019 actually was a very blessed year. It was easier. It was simpler. I was pregnant, and I know I went through the entire year of 2019 in kind of a bliss because it was so fun being pregnant.

Arden: Beautiful. It was amazing.

Esther: I was talking to someone recently who’s also gone through infertility. She was talking about how, even though little things in pregnancy that are hard, become so beautiful and wonderful when you’ve waited that long. For me, even if I was sick, I didn’t even care! I was just so happy to be pregnant and have a baby.

My daughter decided she wanted to be stuck in me a lot longer than I would have liked. Our due date was September 23^rd, and we didn’t end up having her until the 29^th. But on the 29^th, bright and early in the morning, like at 1 am, I went into labor. I had a beautiful labor, a lot harder than I expected, but it was beautiful, and it was wonderful, and we had a beautiful baby girl.

Interestingly enough, I’d always loved the name Gethsemane since I was a teenager. I didn’t know why at the time. I love unique names, and it was a beautiful name, but I didn’t realize how much meaning there would be to it until later on.

Later, when we were talking about names for our daughter, we knew it would be Gethsemane. We talked about this before we had gotten pregnant, but we knew it would be Gethsemane for a daughter because after all we had gone through, it fit.

Gethsemane is the place where Jesus prayed, “Not My will, but Yours be done.” He didn’t want what was happening to him. His human self didn’t want any part of it. He didn’t want to hurt. He didn’t want to ache like that. He didn’t want to suffer like that. But He said, “Not My will, but Yours be done.”

That is the place I had to come to. Arden had to come to it. We, separately and together, “Not my will but Yours be done. Please take this cup. Take it. But not my will. Yours be done.”

Then for her middle name, we actually had been praying about it and talking about that. I was researching one day, and the perfect name came to me when I was searching. It was Elianna. Elianna means “God has answered.” Together that was the story. “Take this cup. Not my will but Yours be done.” And then. . .

Arden: “God has answered.’

Esther: “God has answered.” Her name is Gethsemane Elianna. We are so blessed and so happy to have her. She’s the joy of our lives.

Arden: She’s beautiful, amazing, smart.

Esther: She’s four. She’s spunky. She’s a little stubborn. I think, too, it puts another perspective on mothering. Because even the hard days with her, I might not get to do this again, because I might not have another one. I try to enjoy it to the fullest, even the parts that are hard.

Obviously, as a mom, you still go through hard days. I may have it only once, so I’m trying to savor it, and make it last as long as I can. It’s not a burden to me. It’s beautiful.

We can go back to the stem cell transplant.

Arden: There’s a lot that goes in there in this whole story.

Nancy: So, all through this time, you still continued to work while you were on this low-dose chemo.

Arden: Through all the treatments, I continued to work. The only time I didn’t work was during the heavy dose, the big heavy dose. Actually, before the heavy dose in 2016, when I was stage four. I was sleeping. I was out of it. These giant tumors on my neck and my underarms.

Esther: You worked as much as you possibly could.

Arden: Yeah, it’s how I was raised. Even Granddad Bowen, and I have that memory. “A good man’s never stuck.” I didn’t want to be someone just sitting at home. “I can’t work.” So, I did. I forced myself to work every single day, just for a little bit. You guys can imagine.

The first few doses of low-dose chemotherapy were fine. I didn’t have any side effects or reactions. Not even hair loss for probably the first year, so I’d say, 2017, nothing. Then I got clean scans. Since it’s a really aggressive type, it started resisting those chemotherapies, so we were switching to other low-doses chemotherapies. I reacted to those. I heard cancer is killing cancer, but I was sick from those. Minor hair loss, but I was sick two weeks out of every month for years.

Nancy: Whenever we’d see you, “How you are going, Arden?” “Oh, great!” We most probably didn’t know you were going home to throw up.

Arden: Nobody knew besides my wife.

Nancy: So, for quite a few years, you and Bowen were managing the manufacturing plant for Trim Healthy Mama.

Arden: Yeah, I did a lot before I did that. I was doing freelance videography for singer/songwriters.

Nancy: Oh, that’s right. You used to do all the videos for your mom and Auntie Pearl, doing their cooking shows, yes.

Arden: Yes, did all their videos.

Nancy: Are they not doing them so much now?

Arden: Not as much as cooking videos right now.

Nancy: They were so great!

Arden: We’re going to get back into that but they’re passionate about other things right now.

Nancy: Well, yes, they’ve got all this Trim Healthy Medical they’re working on.

Arden: So, I did a lot of freelance videography. I contracted with tons of different people, tons of companies. Trim Healthy Mama is one of them. And then, actually it’s when we had the baby, I started at CMS, which is one of my parents’ companies. I started fixing the equipment there, like a maintenance guy.

I’ve always liked tinkering with little machines. Not engines, as a mechanic, even though I could do that. I like to say, “I’m a jack of all trades, master of none,” but still better than master of one. I’ll finish it that way. [laughter]

I’ve always loved tinkering with things. There’s a guy who I used to work for. He instilled in me that if you’re capable, competent, and willing to learn, you can pretty much do anything. These machines that we would wrap candy bars for other companies and protein bars for Trim Healthy Mama, I was fixing them. Then I started teaching other people how to fix them.

Then some machines that we had in that facility, there were only a few of them. Actually, there were several of them in the United States, but only a few guys who knew how to fix them. So, I’d fly out and fix the machines for some company. I did that for a number of years. Then I managed a couple of other guys at CMS and taught them how to fix the machines and operate machines. Then I worked in a lot of different areas at CMS.

Then Bowen and I got offered jobs to manage because we had been showing initiative for a number of years. Dad raised me my whole life with skillsets, skillsets, skillsets. “You’ve got to learn skillsets. You cannot complain. You’re a man.” I used to, when I was younger, I was like, “Dad’s being tough on me.” I’m so glad he did because it made me the man I am today.

He told me when I first started working for the company, “Hey, don’t think for one minute that I won’t replace you if you’re not doing your job. You’re expecting anything for free? You’re not going to get it here.” I’m like, “No, I’m not expecting anything for free. You raised me different.” I had to work for it. I don’t want one red cent given to me by my parents’ company. I’m not owed anything by them. Yeah, so when the baby’s born, I started that. In the beginning of 2021, I started management at CMS with Bowen (my cousin, Pearl’s son).

Nancy: Yes, yes. Now, you’re onto something new now, but we’re going to wait for another session for that one, because we’ve got to. . . Oh, first of all, what was Esther doing? Well, can I tell you what Esther was doing? She was doing so many things.

But you have to know that Esther has always been the dessert and cake cooker on the Hilltop. She is the best. There is absolutely no one who can even compare with her. Even someone who can make beautiful desserts—no one can make them like Esther.

She got the job. Everybody’s birthday, everybody’s special occasion, Esther made the cake. If Esther made the cake, everyone surrounded it like flies, waiting for their little piece. It’s not only delectable, but it is so totally pure and healthy. Esther was always busy baking and doing these things. Then, of course, like my place here . . .

Arden: Oh, no, I was going to add, over the years being around my mom and all her healthy friends and everybody, and parties, she’d have potlucks and everything. Some healthy desserts just don’t taste very good. I was like, put some in my mouth, “Mmmm, mmm.” Thumbs up! “Mmmm, it’s good!” Then go somewhere and barf! [Nancy laughing]

I’m actually not a huge sweets guy. I’ve never really loved sweets, but Esther’s are very, very, very good. They taste bad for you.

Nancy: Yes, they taste bad for you, they’re so good! [laughter] But they are so good! Esther was always doing that. And as my father always used to say, we were raised with this Scripture, “A man’s gift makes room for him and brings him before kings.” Your gift always makes room for you.

Of course, Pearl and Serene asked Esther to do one of the Trim Healthy Mama cookbooks. She put together TRIM HEALTHY INDULGENCE. I wonder if you’ve got that book. If you love desserts, if you love cakes, you’ve got to have TRIM HEALTHY INDULGENCE on your bookshelf, because every single recipe is delectable, but the amazing, miraculous thing is everyone is absolutely pure health. There’s no one but Esther who could do this. In fact, Serene, who’s the most amazing cook, can’t make desserts like you! And then Esther did the cookbook. Please get it! If you haven’t already got it, you’ve got to get it.

But then, Pearl and Serene opened the Trim Healthy Mama cafes. The one here, and then they did one in Texas for a while. Esther began making all the delectable desserts. You’re no longer doing it now. You’ve trained others, haven’t you? But you started off making them all.

People came. You can’t believe it. I would often go to the café on the weekends. I knew it would be so fun. I’d only go on a Saturday, because if you go on a Saturday, you know you will meet people from all over the country! You didn’t know from what state you were going to meet them! “Oh, hi, and where do you come from?” “Oh, we’re down from Ohio. We’ve just come down, my friend and I, to stay the weekend, to come to the cafe.”

People, ladies, Trim Healthy Mama fans would come, have a weekend in Tennessee, just to come to the café. And, of course, always to try ESTHER’S CAKE OF WONDERS, your chocolate cake of wonders. All of her delectable, delectable things. They came from out of state just to taste them!

Esther: Well, thank you. I don’t know if it’s that good.

Nancy: I haven’t had one of yours for a long time now, Esther, seeing others have taken over at the café. I don’t actually bother with them now because they’re not made by you. [laughter]

Esther: Well, thank you. I had the wonderful privilege of writing TRIM HEALTHY INDULGENCE when Serene and Pearl asked me if I’d be willing to do so. It was a wonderful opportunity. I’m really glad I took it. I do love baking, but due to allergies, I have an allergy to both wheat and sugar. I can’t have the regular conventional treats. In general, they’re bad for you anyway, so you shouldn’t be eating them.

I was tired of all the fake-tasting healthy treats, especially because I love pastries. I love the Great British Bake-Off. I love all these artsy desserts that you can’t really replicate, in general. With TRIM HEALTHY INDULGENCE, I wanted to make recipes that people could love and didn’t feel like they were missing out, especially for the men. It’s hard to feel like they’re missing out on something yummy. Then they’re also less likely to eat the healthy things.

I tried to make the majority of them taste as bad for you as possible. There are things you simply have to sacrifice, but I think I did a pretty good job. At least all my feedback tells me so.

Then, yes, I was also privileged to be able to be one of the start-up bakers when they started the café, like you were talking about. I have since retired from that job because I have a four-year-old daughter who keeps me busy, and homeschooling her, and all that. But yeah, it was such a wonderful opportunity. I’m so glad it was offered to me.

Nancy: Oh, yes. Now, we’re coming up to you’ve still having to have this low-dose cancer treatment, and the doctors are saying, “We can’t keep going. Something’s got to change.”

Arden: After we had the baby, during that, I started CMS. Like I said, I was getting treatment somewhere else, and I had to come back to Vanderbilt. I was like, “Hey, will you guys take me back?” It was a good treatment, but they had no plan. They were like, “You’re going to have to do this forever.”

Every couple of weeks I was flying back out there for a weekend of traveling. It wasn’t sustainable. I didn’t want to do that with a baby on the way. Who wants that to be how we started our little family? Even without the baby, and after she was pregnant, it wasn’t fun. It wasn’t enjoyable. It was tiresome.

Right before the baby was born, I called Vanderbilt back and said, “Will you guys take me back? Will you guys work a plan for me?” They said, “Yes. Absolutely.”

Right after the baby was born, I went in for scans. They saw where I was, and I started low-dose chemotherapy again. It was back to feeling bad. They wanted to do stem cell, but they can’t do stem cell without a clear scan, because it’s more effective. The chances of you actually beating it with a clean scan are a lot higher because there’s a lot less cancer cells.

I started the low-dose chemotherapy. It was all of 2020. 2021 I finally got clear scans again. Fall of 2021, I got clear scans. They drew my stem cells.

Nancy: They take all your stem cells.

Arden: They insert a catheter in one of my big veins inside of my thigh. Then they have one on the other side. For like a week prior, you inject yourself with a shot that forces your bone marrow to push out your stem cells, so they’re in your bloodstream now. Then they pull them through one leg, through a machine which captures your stem cells. You need about six million cells to actually do the stem cell transplant. I got close to nine, right?

Esther: Yes, you were close to nine.

Arden: Close to nine million stem cells. They recycle and go through the machine. Your blood would come back.

Nancy: Isn’t that miraculous? Nine million stem cells in your body.

Arden: Oh, there’s way more. That’s what they collected. There are billions of cells. Anyway, they collected that for the stem cells. On March 7, 2022, we started stem cell therapy.

There’s a lot of back and forth. I was like, “You don’t want to do this.” I didn’t want to do it because I didn’t know what the long-term ramifications were for my health. But I wanted to be here for my wife and my little girl that we had just had. At that point, not just had. She was a couple of years old, actually.

They pretty much said, “You’re going to have to do this now, or the cancer will become resistant to the chemotherapy that you’re currently on.” I didn’t want to do the chemotherapy anyway for that much longer. It was nasty. It was terrible. I felt terrible, and every day I had to push myself to work, to be active, to be happy, to have the joy of the Lord. I had to put a smile on my face, because I felt terrible.

Nancy: I remember talking to your mom many times over that time. Because it is a huge thing.

Arden: She did not want me to do it.

Nancy: She did not want you to, but yet, in the end, she had been to this big health conference where she met this doctor there. He would have been as pro-healthy and against all cancer treatment as you could get. She called him and said, “Please, what would you say?” He said, “This is really your only choice.”

Arden: Yeah.

Esther: We also had to leave the baby. We couldn’t take the baby with us, because she couldn’t live with us at the hospital. They told us we’d have to be there, at best case scenario, three weeks. But highly unlikely. We’d better prepare to be there for a month.

The thought of also being away from my daughter for that long was horrifying. We had never been away from her, even overnight. My daughter was only two. She was still nursing. It was really heart-wrenching.

Arden: Yeah, it was extremely heart-wrenching and sad, especially for you, because of the bond they had. She was nursing, and all of that. My mom did not want me to, but we had decided, Esther and me.

Esther: We had prayed about it.

Arden: Yeah, we prayed and prayed and prayed. We actually felt, like in the beginning, that same peace. This door had opened, and we felt peace. I need to do this. We went ahead with it.

It’s funny, thinking back on it. When I was doing that, I thought to myself, “I could never do the stem. I could never go through this again. It’s the toughest thing I’ve ever been through. It’s one of the things. They started with the heavy, heavy, heavy hitters again. The idea is, they knock you out. Not like out cold, like unconscious, but they load you up with chemotherapy.

Esther: They wipe your body out.

Arden: They wipe your body out.

Nancy: Really. So, your whole body is wiped out.

Arden: Your immune system, everything gone.

Nancy: You don’t have an immune system?

Arden: They rescue you with your own cells. So, what I did was called an autologous treatment, I believe. It’s with my own stem cells. Some people do it with somebody else’s stem cells. That’s generally reserved for a case where it’s relapsed after a stem cell, or for a harder case of cancer.

Anyway, they were quite certain that this would work. We did it and started on that. They wiped me out.

Nancy: How did you feel when you were wiped out?

Arden: Imagine the worst flu you’ve ever had. The worst flu you’ve ever had, and times it by six. You feel like you’re knocking on death’s door.

But all my life, I’ve been fascinated with Navy Seals. Navy Seals have the mindset and the power that God has given this human body a lot, a lot. We’re capable of so much. We don’t really notice how powerful the mind is and what God has given us. A lot of times we stop at that mental barrier, that mental wall. We don’t push past it.

Navy Seals have always fascinated me that way, because they’re like, “Hey, no day’s an easy day!” You can go seven times longer. You push yourself to your absolute breaking limit. I’m not saying be stupid, but it’s always fascinated me. In another life, I would probably like being a Navy Seal. My wife wouldn’t want that. [laughter]. I wouldn’t want to do that to her. I really do honor and thank all the guys who do and have done that. It’s definitely a sacrifice. But I’ve always loved Navy Seals.

Going through that, I really wanted to apply that. Obviously, I didn’t have the training like they had, but I really wanted to adopt that mindset, so I told myself every day, “You can do this. You can do this.” I went on walks around our little ward, 15 laps were like a mile. We did a mile, or close to a mile every single day while I was there. I had a little bicycle, and I’d ride that bicycle every day. Actually, we were there for nineteen days.

Esther: God did a little miracle there too. Well, technically it was a big miracle. They said, best case scenario, we’d be out in 21 days, but not to expect that. We were out in 19 days.

Nancy: Wow!

Arden: They said I pretty much handled that better than the majority of people handle it.

Esther: Afterward, you weren’t allowed to be out and about.

Nancy: So, you had to be isolated when you came home, for how long?

Arden: Three months.

Nancy: Three months. So, we couldn’t even see Arden. They were living on the Hilltop, but he had to hibernate.

Esther: Yes. He couldn’t go out anywhere or do anything because his immune system was so weakened that even a little cold could be the death of him, literally. They said that most stem cell patients have to go in afterward for infections.

Arden: Weekly.

Esther: Praise the Lord, we did not have to go in once during those three months. We did the standard check-ups, but there were no infections. We had no more hospital stays. It was definitely a miracle.

Nancy: I think one wonderful thing is being out here in the woods. You were hibernating but you could get out into the woods.

Arden: My doctors were great. I gave them a hard time. I was not an easy patient. I was actually probably the worst patient they had because I’m a very outdoorsy man. I want to do things. I told them, “I’m going to do this.” They’re like, “Don’t do this.” I went and did it anyway. I told my doctor, “Yeah, I’m going to go out on the farm.” He was like, “OK, as long as you’re not doing this, and doing such-and-such things.” So, I did.

Thankfully, we live out on the farm, and I was out every day. It was actually a beautiful time. I was able to do work from home, so I worked from home. I was also able to spend a lot of time with my family. It was beautiful.

I was happy, because my daughter didn’t really remember that well. I wanted to do it that way, instead of continuing with low-dose chemotherapy if I got clean scans again, and then do stem cell when she’s four or five, like now. She’ll remember it. I didn’t want her to remember when Daddy was sick.

Nancy: Well, I can’t believe that another session has gone by. We have not yet even got up to what you are doing now. So, that’s going to be the next session. Arden is now doing something new which is very powerful, and which will be a blessing. You’ll want to hear about it for your sons, for your husbands. We’re going to talk about that in the next session. That’s going to be exciting. I know you’ve been blessed hearing this story.

“Lord, we thank You again that we’re able to meet together, that Arden and Esther have been able to share this story, Lord God, the journey You’ve taken them through in these last seven years. Now the way You are leading them. We thank You, and we give You the glory.

“Lord, of course, we’re always thinking about all those who are listening. Many have different problems—physically, mentally, spiritually. I pray, Lord, that You will come and minister to each one. We thank You that You are the God who is enough. No matter what we are facing, Lord “God, You are bigger than any problem that we face.

Lord God, we thank You that we can trust You completely. Lord, You are our Rock, our Fortress, and our God, our Friend, our Shepherd, and our King, and our Redeemer. We thank You. I pray Your blessing on every household that is listening today. In the Name of Jesus. Amen.”

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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TRIM HEALTHY INDULGENCE

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LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 292: Seven-Year Battle with Cancer, Part 1

You are dreaming of a honeymoon pregnancy! Instead, you come home to find your husband diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma! The heartache and battle begin! Arden and Esther Allison share their story of Arden's seven-year long battle with cancer.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! And I have to say, please forgive me!  I have never been late before in getting out a podcast especially for this podcast! Because this is going to be a very special one!

Colin and I came home the 11^th of January from our Above Rubies Retreat down in Panama. That was our winter retreat, and it was the most beautiful, beautiful retreat. Oh, well, I don’t know, they seem to be getting better and better. I think it is that so many, although there are lots of new people, many are coming back. They’ve got to know one another, and the comradeship is so wonderful.

The young people are getting to know one another more and more. There was such a great anointing of the Lord upon the young people and the children. It was so amazing. One night the anointing of the Lord came down and they couldn’t stop worshiping until 2 o’clock in the morning and praying for one another. It was so beautiful!

But anyway, I came home. We had it all arranged the next day. I was going to do a podcast with Arden and Esther. They are sitting here with me now. But unfortunately, instead of doing the podcast, my head hit the pillow, and I couldn’t get up!

For three days I couldn’t lift my head. I couldn’t even keep down water. So, I don’t know what happened to me. Then, of course, I’ve got this cough. I’m not right yet, but by faith we’re going ahead today even though we are late. Please forgive me, once again.

Esther and Arden are sitting here with me. Arden is Serene and Sam’s oldest son. He’s married to beautiful Esther. Want to say hi?

Arden: Hello, everyone.

Esther: Hi!

Arden: I was going to say when you said you’re never late on a podcast, but sometimes I can be late on editing your podcast!

Nancy: Well, right from the beginning of starting our podcast, Arden has been the one who sets our podcast up and has been with me in all of this. He edits them so he’s such a very big part of this. Thank you so much, Arden!

Arden: I can be blamed for the bad parts! [laughter]

Nancy: Today I want Arden and Esther to tell their story. They have such a powerful story to tell. Some of you know it, but most of you will not know it.

But let me start it off because it all started with Esther coming to Above Rubies as an Above Rubies helper. Amazing things happen when girls come to be Above Rubies helpers! Esther arrived, and it was my first time to meet her. She came all the way from Canada and her lovely parents brought her down with them.

It happened to be that the next night, it was Shabbat. Esther was reminding me about this just now. I had invited the Allison family over for Shabbat. We always like to have visitors at our Shabbat meal. Sometimes it’s family, sometimes it’s people who we want to introduce Shabbat to them, or friends we want to get together with. Sometimes it’s just the grandchildren.

This time, it was the Allisons. And I had no ulterior thought in my mind. [laughter from Arden and Esther]. They are giggling here.

Arden: I’m only laughing because it’s been a family joke. Maybe we haven’t mentioned it to you, but it’s been a family joke that you have started Above Rubies to get wives for your grandsons! [laughter]

Nancy: Which wasn’t in my mind at all, but it did happen! And it was more than Arden and Esther! They set the ball rolling.

Arden: I was the first.

Esther: And you swore you’d never marry a Rubies girl.

Arden: That’s the funny thing. Growing up, when I was younger, I’d get teased, and I swore I would never marry an Above Rubies girl. Never, ever, ever, ever!

Nancy: I know, because if you could know, there’s a season, you see. There was a season when all our grandsons were just little boys, real boys. They didn’t believe in showering, or most probably never even sleeping in bed. They were always out in the weather.

Arden: We were savages. Back then, girls had the cooties. We were young boys, and we made this pact that we’re never getting married, ever! I was lying. I knew it then. I knew it then that I was lying. I wanted to get married but with the group of savages, I was like, “No! I’m never getting married! I don’t want to!”

Esther: If you got married, definitely not an Above Rubies girl!

Nancy: And, of course, if you ever talked about girls, they’d want a bucket to vomit into!

Arden: Unfortunately, I was acting very mean to the Above Rubies girls.

Nancy: Oh, yes! In those days, these little boys, they’d find a snake, so they’d come into the office to scare them. They’d come in with spiders. They would come in, and they used to tie them up. They did all these terrible things to the Above Rubies girls. But then, wow! Suddenly they just started to grow up a little.

That night, Arden told me, he said, “Going home, my mom says to me, ‘I hope you could marry a girl like that, Arden.’”

Nancy: “What did you say, Arden?”

Arden: Yeah, we were driving home that Shabbat night after we hung out with you guys for a few hours, three or four hours. We were driving home, and Mom looked at me and said, “I wish you’d fall in love with a girl like that, Arden!”

I don’t know why she said that, because I hadn’t fallen in love with any girl. [laughter] But she’s like, “I wish you’d fall in love with a girl like that.” I’m like, “Mom, don’t worry. I already have my own ideas.”

Nancy: He was already thinking. He’d already seen Esther. But guess how old he was? He was only 16! Help! [laughter]

Arden: I was just 16, just about to turn 17.

Nancy: So, Arden didn’t take long to wait around. He decided, “Yes, that’s the girl I want to marry.” When Arden believes it’s time to do something, he does it!

Arden: I was raised that you don’t get into a relationship. I’m glad I was. There’s no absent-minded, just dating. I wanted to get married. I wanted that life. I wanted to be a responsible man. When I found the woman, I was like, “Man, this girl loves the Lord, she’s responsible, she’s smart as a tack.” [laughter]

I wanted to get to know this girl more and explore the possibility of marriage. I talked to her for a little bit in the office. You were there. And then I started emailing her dad. That was an adventure! He was grilling me over a whole array of topics and matters, especially theological and spiritual. It was definitely an experience!

Nancy: Yes! They weren’t expecting their daughter to come down, and this happen. It was furthest from their minds.

Esther: I was going to say, to bring it back a little bit more, I was raised in China (and adopted by my parents in Chiona). My mother received Above Rubies magazines in China. She loved them. They changed her mind on a big family, on homeschooling, on mothering, because she wasn’t raised like that at all.

So, I grew up reading Above Rubies magazines from the time I was a little girl. Interestingly enough, somehow it was always one of my dreams to become a Rubies girl. Even on my homework papers, one of my goals was to be an Above Rubies girl. I did not know, obviously, that I was going to find my husband there, in the end! But yeah, I had a passion for Above Rubies from when I was a little, little girl.

Nancy: And Esther came, knowing every single person in the family. She had known all about them, and knew who they were, right from a little girl, which is quite amazing. But at 16, Arden wanted more than a girlfriend. He was never interested in that. He was interested in marriage.

So, Esther’s parents were, “Wow! Help! We’d better come down and meet this guy!” So, they had to come down. Of course, when they met Arden, they couldn’t say no.

Esther: They loved Arden.

Nancy: They just had to delay things a little bit. Then, of course, Arden began to frequent our meal table. It was quite interesting.

Arden: The funny thing is, back then I did a lot of water hauling because Mom and Dad’s water was connected to . . . They didn’t have a spring, didn’t have a well at that point. Because the spring kept on drying up in the summer. In the winter it was fine, but in the summertime, I had to haul water.

That was toward the end of the summer. She came in October. Obviously, it’s fall by then. But I was still hauling water. It only took 30 minutes to fill the water tank, but I’d turn it off, and let it drain out so I could have another 30 minutes! [laughter]

Nancy: Oh! [laughter]

Arden: They made me come and help in the office with Esther and you.

Esther: I remember one time you called for Above Rubies helpers. It was only me at the time. There was a new magazine that had just come out. I was the only Ruby girl there, so you asked everybody on the land to come and help. Arden was the only one who actually ended up showing. We spent the entire afternoon together, in almost complete silence, working on Above Rubies magazines.

Arden: If I could go back to that young guy that I was, I would be like, “Man! What an idiot!” [laughing]

Esther: No, we were both nervous!

Arden: Not for falling in love with her, but. . .

Esther: No, we were just both nervous.

Nancy: But that’s all about falling in love! It’s all part of it. It’s all so wonderful!

So, Arden would come for supper. He had to eat rather strangely. He could only eat with one hand! [Esther laughing]

Arden: Yeah. Granddad always made fun of me because we were always holding hands. So, I’d eat with my left hand, and I’m right-handed!

Nancy: That was a wonderful, great time, and so exciting for all of us! We all had to be patient and wait until they were both 18, and the beautiful wedding day came. That was such a glorious day.

We all knew that Arden and Esther were going off on their honeymoon, hoping for a honeymoon baby. We were all hoping for a honeymoon baby! We were all excited about it. We all thought, “This is what’s going to happen!” Everyone was so excited. But that wasn’t what quite happened.

Esther: No, we both come from families with a dozen children. We both desperately wanted to have a big family. We both were pretty certain it was going to happen soon, as you know. Your parents are pretty fertile, and so are mine, so we thought it’s really unlikely that it won’t happen. But God had different plans.

Nancy: Yes, so you can start telling the story.

Arden: Just to put it in perspective, we met in October of 2014 here at your house. We started our relationship. Knowing her father, I got permission to start a relationship with her, talk to her, call her. We were in a relationship for all 2015 and then we got married in February 2016.

Nancy: That was when she had to go back home to Canada.

Arden: That was more like long-distance. I visited her a couple of times and she visited me. She wrote the majority of the letters. We were emailing, texting, calling, and a few letters. A few for me, and dozens from her!

Esther: We got married in February of 2016. Five weeks . . .

Arden: Blissful. Incredible. Wonderful.

Esther: Five weeks after our wedding day, we went in for a routine check-up for you. Arden had had some swollen lymph nodes a couple months back. But we figured it was because it was the cold and flu season. Plus, weddings are wonderful, but they come with an aspect of stress and busyness and beginning a new life.

We figured it was a minor infection that would go away. But because it stuck around for a few months, we asked the doctors to check it out. They were like, “Ok, this has been around for a couple of months.”

Arden: He immediately said, “You might want to get checked out by an oncologist because you might have Hodgkin’s lymphoma.” I was like, “What’s Hodgkin’s lymphoma?”

Esther: Both of us had no idea. You were freshly 18. Neither one of us had any idea what that was.

Arden: I didn’t know that much about cancer. I thought old people got it; unhealthy people got it. I didn’t know anything about it. That’s when we were like, “What are we going to do?”

You guys who are listening, we have not told this to anyone. Family members know this, and a few other people that family members told them. We’ve talked to other people personally in a one-on-one conversation. This is the first time we’ve really, really gone public about it. It’s been six years now, no seven years.

Nancy: Seven years, isn’t it?

Arden: Eight years, coming up on our wedding day. It’s almost a seven-year journey of battling cancer.

Esther: Yeah. Needless to say, we were both a little shell-shocked. Both not sure how to process or continue from there. My grandmother had died of cancer, and your grandfather several years before.

My grandmother used conventional treatment. You know, you see and hear horror stories of conventional therapy, so both of us were very hesitant to go into it, especially being so newly married.

We all know it greatly decreases fertility, or at least it’s known to. We didn’t want to take that chance straight off. The doctors assured us that Hodgkin’s lymphoma is extremely slow growing. In fact, if you’re going to get cancer, it’s the type you want the most.

Arden: Exactly. Yes.

Esther: Because you have so much time. We thought, if we have the time, if it’s slow growing, we might as well try some natural treatments.

Arden: That was what was going through my mind as well. The doctor told me, “Hey, if you’re going to have cancer, this is the one you want, because people your age . . .”

Esther: Almost none of them die.

Arden: “Young adults your age, they all beat it.” With that in mind, we were like, “OK, what are the options?” With my mom being an extreme health freak, and I didn’t care about health. I didn’t appreciate having a healthy mom and a healthy lifestyle. Back then Taco Bell was my life. I went to Taco Bell all the time.

Nancy: But you were blessed to be brought up healthy.

Arden: I was brought up healthy, ate healthy meals at home. But when I was out and about, bad food was incredible. But that said, we decided to go and do natural treatment in Mexico, alternative treatment in Mexico. We were there for one month, right?

Esther: Right. One month.

Arden: It went from stage one, seeming normal, to stage four pretty quick.

Esther: I would say stage three. At that point, we left. We came home in July. It was about two months from when we went to Mexico initially to where the point where he was at, stage four was about two months. It accelerated really, really quickly, and really, really abruptly. Neither one of us was expecting that. All the doctors had assured us that was not going to happen.

Arden: We came back from Mexico. I felt normal when I first got there. Then during the treatment, in the middle of the month that we were there, I started getting night sweats. Just didn’t feel right. I was lethargic, going through life in slow motion. Poor Esther. The whole journey, she remembers it more than I do. On the really hard days. I was kind of not there.

Esther: Also, because it initially started around your neck, your lymph nodes around your neck swelled up really, really, big.

Nancy: I’ll never forget the night you arrived home. In this room, where we were having the prayer meetings, all the cousins were here. Of course, we all expected you to come home healed from this great, incredible natural therapy. Then they looked at you, and all these growths had gotten so much bigger. They all began to cry. We could not believe it. It wasn’t what we expected to happen, was it?

Arden: No. It was not.

Esther: You got steadily worse.

Arden: The doctors were telling my wife and my mom that, “Hey, this is fine.”

Esther: “This is normal. This is the way your cancer should react. This is just reacting to the treatment.”

Arden: “The dying cancer cells are causing a little bit of inflammation and it’s going to go down.”

Esther: By August of 2016, your parents had had it. I think they were like, “This is enough. We’re not listening to those doctors anymore.” We went and got him different scans from a different doctor.

Arden: At Vanderbilt.

Nancy: But in between that too, we decided that we would pray. Remember? It was actually three months that every single night of the week, we’d come together as a family. It was so wonderful the way the family rallied.

By “the family,” I mean the family, right down to the little babies. Everyone came. The cousins would gather round Arden. They would pray over him. I can remember them praying and praying. We’d sing the songs of the Lord. And we watched him get worse! In fact, it was so bad that we couldn’t. . . We weren’t seeing anything for our prayers.

I actually put Scriptures, healing Scriptures, all around the whole room. We could walk around and pray over those Scriptures, and pray those Scriptures, and hang onto them. We had nothing else to hang onto. All we watched were these huge tumors get bigger and bigger, and Arden become less and less.

Arden: The crazy part with Hodgkin’s lymphoma, it doesn’t work like a normal tumor. It’s essentially a blood cancer.

Esther: It’s a blood cancer.

Arden: It causes your lymph nodes to be tumors. They swell up so much. Yeah, with all that said, and all the prayers, and the family support we got, I’m literally here by the grace of God.

Esther: In retrospect, over those few months, we didn’t realize at the time, but your body was shutting down. It was shutting down, and you were dying.

Arden: Yeah, like you were saying before, when we went and got those scans, they called us up immediately. Immediately after.

Nancy: Because you were having things in your heart, wasn’t he?

Esther: There was fluid around his heart.

Nancy: When he had to get to the hospital. . .

Esther: They said, “You have to go NOW!”

Arden: That night, we went to Vanderbilt Adult Emergency Room.

Esther: We were admitted immediately.

Arden: Yep. Generally, sometimes you’ll get cut. I’ve been to the Emergency Room so many times in my life for cuts, knife gashes, you know. I was a dare devil and a crazy boy. You have to wait 15, 20, 30 minutes sometimes. This was immediately. I walked in, immediately put me on a table.

My wife was sitting right next to me, holding my hand. There were droves of students, nurses, doctors, all these people. Doctors came in and told my wife that night, “This is the worst case of Hodgkin’s lymphoma we’ve ever seen. If he survives, you guys probably won’t have children. His lymph nodes will never get back to normal size.”

Esther: Basically, they were like, “If you don’t do chemo, you will die. So, you must do chemo right now.”

Arden: We were terrified of it. That was a big fear over my wife, and my life at the time. Like chemo terrified us. Right during that time, I know I didn’t. We had this peace about it. God opened that door, and we did not fear. That was the door that God had opened. It was definitely hard on my wife at that time because she had to face a few months being married.

Esther: Well, yeah, I was facing widowhood in the first year of my marriage. It was a very real possibility.

Arden: Her family’s in Canada.

Nancy: And you come home from your honeymoon, just thinking of a baby. And now you’re facing a husband who may not live.

Esther: Exactly.

Nancy: It was torture, wasn’t it?

Esther: Yeah. It was pretty much hell on earth. There’s not much worse that I could imagine. I’ve got to be honest. But by the grace of God, chemotherapy worked.

Arden: They started me on heavy-dose chemotherapy. Also, just to paint a picture here, when we got married, I was like 175 pounds. When I got admitted to Vanderbilt in August at the ICU, I was close to 125 pounds.

Esther: That was literally a period of six, seven months. Six to seven months.

Arden: I was on crazy, crazy diets the doctors in Mexico put me on.

Nancy: And I was juicing for you every night.

Arden: Mom was giving me all sorts of supplements and mushroom powders, and all this crazy stuff.

Nancy: Oh, I know.

Esther: If it was natural, we tried it.

Nancy: I could see it was the hardest thing for him to get down this juice. It was the most powerful juice, because I was going to get you well!

Arden: Jalapenos, tomatoes, carrots, everything!

Nancy: Yes, and okra leaves, and . . .

Arden: At that time too, I didn’t have a love for health. I developed this love for health over the years of the treatment I had. I had to actually buy into it myself. Like my mom has been bought into it, so I had to develop a love for it. At that time, I didn’t. I just wanted to get better! 

They started me on heavy chemotherapy. I lost my hair. I think I felt so bad that I didn’t feel any of the side effects from chemotherapy, besides hair loss. I actually was feeling better from taking the chemotherapy.

Nancy: Because you’d been so bad, yes.

Esther: All you did was sleep.

Arden: Yes, so I actually had more energy because it was beating down. It was taking away the large masses around my neck and underarms. My underarms had baseballs underneath both arms.

Nancy: The interesting thing is that none of us could ever imagine how you got it, because you were such a healthy specimen. But do you think it was that spraying you were doing when you . . . Lots of theories, I guess.

Arden: I have a lot of theories. But I did have to say Round Up. I dumped it all over my shoulders and neck in an accident when I was 17.

Nancy: It spilled all over you. And you were out and didn’t get back for how long?

Arden: I was out on a cell tower maintenance crew. Esther and I were dating. This was in the summer of 2015. I had a backpack sprayer with glyphosate. The lid must not have been on tight when I jumped over a fence. You know when you land, you kind of brace your knees and bend over a little bit. The lid popped off, and the glyphosate poured over my neck and shoulders.

Nancy: Oh boy. Yeah.

Esther: Another theory, because, honestly, no one really knows, is that Epstein-Barr virus has actually been known to mutate into Hodgkin’s lymphoma. His bloodwork had said he had had Epstein-Barr virus. So, it’s possible that’s also what did it. But no one knows exactly. There’s another theory.

Arden: Really, I used to churn. My brain would just go around, especially when I was feeling better. In the fall, a month after the heavy chemo, I used to churn. “Why? What if? Why? Why me? Why me?”

Over the years, I really got to the point where I was like, “Why not me? Why not me?” Because I’m kind of frustrated with myself because I feel like I wasted a lot of time, sitting down in self-pity, and wallowing in, “I’m sick. I can’t do this. I shouldn’t do that. Oh, no, life won’t be good until I get better.” I put those requirements on myself, like, “Hey! I’m going to be really happy when I’m cancer-free.”

I had to get to the point, even though I got to this point before I was cancer-free. I had to get to the point where “Hey! No, I’m happy now. Cancer does not define me. Sickness does not define me. Yes, I have cancer, but I am a man of God. I am not going to let this define and rule over my life like this.” I had to get to that point.

Esther: For the record, though, he was one of the most optimistic people I have ever, ever, ever seen go through anything like this. If you asked him how he was, it didn’t matter what time of day or what time or night, or he’s actually doing, he’s always great! Honestly, he never ever got down.

Nancy: I will vouch for that! He was always great and always had a smile on his face.

Esther: I was going to say, he never . . . There were very, very, very few laws, and I rarely even saw them. He was always very upbeat, very optimistic, very positive. Actually, to this day, I’m baffled by how that works!

Nancy: Yes, yes. They really went for it when they first found you at stage four. But then, of course, it was a seven-year fight. It didn’t just go!

Arden: After the big heavy doses for a few months, I went to low-dose chemotherapy, which I reacted really well with. Over the next couple of years, I had a couple of clean scans. Then it would come back. It was very aggressive. I’d reacted well.

Nancy: This is interesting now. They say, “Oh, well. This is the one you want to get.” But it wasn’t like that for you.

Arden: After studying, because I really poured a lot of man-hours into studying cancer and stuff like that. When a young person has cancer, it’s a lot tougher than when an older person has cancer.

Nancy: Really?

Arden: The immune system is tougher, so in order to overcome a younger person, the cancer has to be stronger. But an older person, like I’ve known several older people who have cancer (that’s not a blanket statement). I know that some older people have cancer, and it can be really tough and take them out fast and be really aggressive as well. But I do know lots of older people that have cancer, and it’s been dormant in a way. Not dormant, but it’s not super aggressive like mine was. There can be various types of cancer. It’s wild.

Nancy: Not one’s the same.

Esther: No, no.

Arden: No, they’re all different. It’s crazy. I didn’t even know how much cancer there was out there until I started getting treatment. Another thing, when I was in the ICU in the adult side, since I was 18. . .

Esther: Just 18.

Arden: I was 18 on December 15 in 2015, about to turn 19. But they gave me the opportunity. They said, “Hey, do you want to go to the children’s hospital?” I looked around, and the adult side was kind of morbid. It was kind of sad.

Esther: Yeah, but honestly, I think even more than that, was the main reason, we were trying to save his fertility. We wanted children.

Arden: Yes, that was the main reason.

Esther: We really, really, really wanted children. If there was a chance of saving his fertility, it would be in the children’s hospital, not the adult hospital. That’s why we opted for the children’s hospital.

Nancy: Yes, that was the best facility.

Arden: That was the main reason. The other reason was the adult side was kind of sad. But we went to the children’s side. That’s where I was receiving the majority of my chemo, like the lower doses. That’s where I finished out, on the children’s side as well.

Esther: Well, we went through seven years of ups and downs. We tried natural therapy a couple more times, actually, just to see how it would work, especially because his body was doing better.

Arden: In Arizona.

Esther: Mainly in Arizona.

Nancy: Oh, you went to some other clinics too, didn’t you?

Esther: We went to two other clinics in Arizona to try to see what we could do. In the end we always ended up going back to Vanderbilt. Conventional treatment worked best for him and his cancer. In 2022 . . .

Arden: Spring of 2022.

Esther: He had had clear scans. The thing is, like he had said, we had had at least two clear scans before, but his cancer kept on coming back. The doctors at Vanderbilt recommended that we do a stem cell transplant because sometimes there’s cancer on scans that can’t be picked up because it’s too small. But left alone, obviously it will grow and destroy the body again. But if you do a stem cell transplant, the idea is that you . . .

Arden: Give yourself a clean slate.

Esther: Yes. So, they give you doses of chemo so heavy that it wipes everything in your body, both good and bad.

Arden: That was something that we knew was on the radar from the beginning. They said, “Hey, this is the plan. We’re going to do this, do this, do this, and then stem cell transplant.” I’d heard so many crazy stories of stem cell transplants over the years. Esther and I were like, we don’t know if we want to do that. But then, in 2019 we had our baby.

Nancy: Shall we just stop here? We’re going to come back next session and find out what happened about that. So, you’ve got to wait for it, because it was the biggest, hugest decision. I can remember, oh goodness, even your mom just agonizing, agonizing.

We’ll tell you. We haven’t finished the story yet. We’re going to close out here, and we’ve got a couple more sessions yet with Arden and Esther. Be tuning in for next week, OK?

“Lord God, we want to come to You today, thanking You for your faithfulness. Here we are, talking on the other end of seeing Your great faithfulness, Lord God, as we continue to tell the story of all that You have done, we want to give You thanks.

“Lord, we want to bless and pray for any who are listening who have any kind of cancer. We pray that, Lord God, You will come through in miraculous ways. Show the path, Lord, for each one, we pray in the precious Name of Jesus.

“Bless each family today, Lord God, in their homes, and in this coming year. In the Name of Jesus, amen.”

Arden: Amen.

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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