OUR LIFE’S ADVENTURE
By Melissa Parenty
In 1979 I lost my mother suddenly when I was just nine years old. She had a cerebral hemorrhage one evening and was rushed to a major city hospital. She was in hospital for about a week, and I was allowed to visit her once for a very short time, under strict orders not to “upset” her. She was about to have a major operation of which we had been told she had a 50 percent chance of survival. No crying allowed.
I remember sitting next to her bed, staring at her through the metal rung sides of the hospital bed that had been pulled up which made her seem unapproachable. I distinctly remember her talking to my father about hospital bills, and I recall thinking, “Why isn’t she looking at me, why isn’t she talking to me, why is she talking about trivial things? I may never see her again!” We must credit children with wisdom beyond their ages, as they often have such otherworldly insight. This was in fact the case. My mother never recovered from the operation and passed away.
I was devastated. I’d love you to read the article below called THREE GENERATIONS IN THE WOMB to understand how God brought comfort to my heart regarding this.
Our family had already been through many deep trials. There was generational trauma on both sides of my parent’s history. After my mother’s death, childhood was definitely well and truly over. Very challenging years followed.
Moving along several years. Due to being blessed with wonderful friends, as well as above average sporting skills and great coaches and teachers, I succeeded in school despite the turbulent homelife behind the scenes.
The summer I turned 17 years I met a gorgeous young surfer from out of town who was visiting for the holidays. He began telling me about Jesus. One of my first questions to him was, “Where was God when my mother died?”
“He was crying with you,” he answered. This answer touched me deeply. We developed a friendship. I remember going on a date to church with this guy, hearing the Gospel and thinking it was very Good News, and so I believed.
This friendship turned to courting and this gorgeous Christian surfer named Christopher became my husband. We had two children in quick succession when we were very young. A daughter who we named Alexandra and a son who we named Jake. I found motherhood beautiful, exciting, inspiring, fun, non-stop challenging and rather overwhelming all at the same time!
Our son Jake’s first twelve weeks of life had been affected by severe colic symptoms, resulting in serious sleep deprivation which had been very hard to go through as I had a little toddler to tend to as well. My husband and I were very young and still growing up ourselves in so many ways. With all these things in mind, including the “worldly” idea of limiting children, we decided we were good as a little family of four and so my husband had a vasectomy. Several people at the time cautioned us, “You are very young. Wait!”
But we thought we knew best. I didn’t want to pray about it though. I probably sensed deep down that God might have another idea! We enjoyed our season as a family of four. We loved being parents and had lots of fun times.
Skip ahead about five years and God sent a lovely friend into my life who was an amazing homeschooling Mumma with a large family. I loved visiting her and thought she was incredible but also thought I could never have a huge family like that! She shared her testimony with me, having been a Catholic nun until she was 30 years, she was impressed to leave the convent. She married late, and she and her husband believed together to receive all the blessings of children that God would send them.
She introduced me to Above Rubies, and I started to read and discover so much truth about how God designed the female body so wonderfully for reproduction and that our wombs are divinely sacred. I was also confronted by the fact that the blessing of “increase” for children seemed to be the only one that many people say no to (including myself at the time). We say yes to increase of things like health, wealth, promotions, and influence easily—but balk at that one.
The Holy Spirit began to work on my heart, and I became aware that the decision to stop having children had not been consciously laid before God. I was convicted in a sweet way that my womb was a gift from God and that I had shut it down in fear and ignorance. Together with my husband we prayed about this. Quite understandably my husband was not overly keen about raising this subject to the surface, but he was willing to hear.
In time we became united to reverse his vasectomy and prayed that if God wanted us to have more children, He would send them. Everyone around us thought we were a bit crazy. Our two children were already aged about ten and eight. We were way out of “babyville” territory. Why would we go back there?! However, we felt we were at least putting the ball back into God’s court.
The reversal was a success. God indeed wanted to send us more children. He gave us a daughter Sophie, a son Levi, and then three more daughters—Hosanna, Coco, and Mia. There is a 20 year gap between our eldest and youngest daughters.
We have enjoyed the ride, albeit like a breath-taking roller coaster one at times. I, nor my family are “picture perfect” Christians. Those who know us understand that we are real people with real life issues going on. Some seasons have been full of joy and a lot of things going right, others have been messy and hard, some (most) are a mix of the two.
We just keep on doing life with Jesus, holding onto our faith no matter what happens. God has led us to experience lots of wonderful adventures as a big family, including overseas missions in France and quite a few hospitality ventures. As a couple we are mission oriented “project” people. I don’t have space to fill all that in here, but I truly believe when we open our lives to trust God deeply, and walk in faith, He opens up wonderful adventures for us.
THREE GENERATIONS IN THE WOMB
A “seed” that would grow into new adventures in my life was the gift of a hand-me-down t-shirt from a friend that had babushka dolls on the front. Not long after receiving it, I learnt about matrilineal lineage and how female fetuses at just 20 weeks of age already have their reproductive eggs. It blew my mind to realize I had been present inside my mother who was inside her mother, when she was a baby in the womb. I also realised that I have “carried” my grandchildren inside my daughters when they were in my womb.
The babushka doll represents matrilineal lineage to me in a very real way. The sense of connection with preceding and future generations is so amazing, and in some cases deeply comforting. I have grieved that my mother never got to meet my daughters or they her, but how wonderful it is to know that at one time we were all connected and present to each other. When I was a baby in her womb from 20 weeks to 40 weeks gestation, my mother, myself, and my five daughters were present together.
This connection to babushka dolls inspired the writing of my book that has recently been published with Arkhouse, called “The Babushka Tree.” One of my favourite things to do as a mother was to read aloud quality literature to my children in the evenings after dinner. I would intentionally choose books that would inspire faith and grow good character. In the writing of The Babushka Tree, I prayed that God would help me achieve that type of story.
I then went on to write a Biblical reflection Guide that is placed after the story, to afford readers the opportunity to meditate and reflect, with aligned Scripture verses and prayers.
MELISSSA PARENTY
Gympie, Queensland, Australia
This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Christopher and Melissa are blessed with seven children and nine grandchildren so far (four of the children are now married).
Melissa speaks fluent French and from 2007 – 2015 they lived in France as missionaries with Pioneers where they planted a church on the Atlantic coast—Surf Church Hossegor—and founded Surfhostels Biarritz and Bidart.
Melissa sees her greatest calling as being a wife, mother, and grandmother, while also embracing the Proverbs 31 vision of an industrious woman. The Parenty family love hospitality and at their family table have welcomed people from all around the world. Since moving back to Australia in 2015, they are owner operators of a café, “The Hungry Surfer.”
You can contact Melissa via social media (search The Babushka Tree on Facebook and Instagram) or email: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
To learn more about her book, THE BABUSHKA TREE, go to the next email. It can be purchased on Amazon: https://a.co/d/3ErRqeB