PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 382: DO YOU WANT TO LIVE A LONG LIFE? Part 3
LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell
EPISODE 382: DO YOU WANT TO LIVE A LONG LIFE? Part 3
Why does God put such importance on honoring parents? What is the influence of GENERATIONAL PARENTING?
Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to the Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies, a magazine bringing strength and encouragement to families across the world.
Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies. We are in the middle of another series called “Do You Want to Live a Long Life?” Well, I’m sure we all do. We are in the middle of the 10 biblical mandates that God has written in His Word for our attitude towards our parents.
We are currently up to No. 5: NEVER BELITTLE YOUR PARENTS. We learned that “belittle” means “to treat insignificantly, to lightly esteem.” That gives us more understanding about what it means to honor. We cannot ever treat our parents lightly. We have to treat them seriously in God’s eyes. But before we move on with this point, since last week, I’ve been thinking of a few more things about parenting and honoring parents. So, I’ll share these thoughts with you.
But first of all, I wonder who’s listening today. Do we have children listening? I hope so, because this is a very important subject for children, although not only children. For all of us who have parents alive, no matter what age we are, these words apply to us. In fact, as I’m going to share with you later, they affect our parents even when they have passed away.
So, children, children who are listening; do you remember what number this commandment is? Because this commandment, to honor your father and mother, is one of the Ten Commandments. Who knows?
Oh yes, I’m sure you're calling it out. The Fifth Commandment. It’s right in the middle, isn’t it? Now, the first four commandments talk about our relationship with God. And then the last six commandments talk about our relationship with others.
Another thing about this fifth commandment is that the New Testament reminds us that this is the first commandment with a promise. Ephesians 6:2-3: “Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise.” Well, we found out, didn’t we, that it’s not only one promise, but two promises.
And another thing we must remember is that when we read something the first time (and of course, back in Exodus, it tells us that it is the first commandment with a promise, and we’re reminded in the New Testament) when God says something for the first time, we must take note. It is called “the law of the first mention.” When God states something the first time, He never deviates from it. That is the foundation of that truth. He may add to it throughout the Word of God, but He will not deviate from it.
So, precious folks listening today, and to me also, we are stuck with this promise. We can’t get away from it. God gave it. It’s His mandate, and He not only gave it at the beginning, but He added to it throughout the Word, as we are talking about it in this series. It is very important. In fact, if we don’t obey this commandment to honor our parents, we are being disobedient, and ladies and children listening, if we cannot honor our parents, well, we’re not really honoring God.
We can say, “I love God with all my heart,” and yet, if we don’t honor our parents, those words are hypocritical. Maybe we are serving the Lord. People can go out to the mission field. They can do great sacrifices for God but if they’re not honoring their father and mother, it’s all to no use, because God cannot say, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant” if we have been disobedient to His commandments.
God is looking for obedience, not sacrifice. We read that, don’t we, in 1 Samuel 15:22-23. That was when God came to Saul and spoke to him because he had not been obedient to what God said. Oh yes, he’d done a great job, and he got rid of the Amalekites, but God had told him to eliminate everything, even all the animals and the beasts. But Saul had saved the best ones for sacrifice.
And God comes to him and says, “What is happening, Saul? What’s all the bleating of these sheep?” And he said, “Well, I saved them for sacrificing to the Lord.” Oh, he was going to do something so good, and sacrifice to the Lord!
But God didn’t look at it that way. He said, “Saul, I expected obedience,” and He says, “Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken, than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry” (1 Samuel 15:22, 23). So, we can do all the good things we like, but if we disobey His commandments, well, that’s what God’s looking for—obedience.
In fact, just the other day, I heard Charlie Kirk on one of his podcasts or messages that he was speaking. He said these words:
“If you cannot honor your earthly parents, you cannot honor your heavenly Father.”
Now, that is a big challenge, isn’t it? It seems to me that Charlie Kirk has something to say on every subject. I think I’ve heard more of him since his passing than I ever did when he was here on this earth. Of course, many are saying, “Well, you know, there will be so many more added to this great work of preaching the truth out there in the marketplace because Charlie has been taken from us.” But, oh, I don’t think we can ever, ever get over the fact that he has gone. We have lamented, and we have mourned, and we still do.
Sunday we were discussing in our church fellowship the story of Stephen, the first martyr of the church. I was most interested to notice in Acts 8:2, that after they had stoned Stephen: “And devout men carried Stephen to his burial, and made great lamentation over him.” I hadn’t noticed that before. He was the first martyr of the church, and all the saints didn’t just mourn. The Bible says: “They greatly mourned over him.”
I think that’s something that we are allowed to do. I think there has been great mourning over the fact of Charlie Kirk being assassinated. He is really like a modern-day martyr. We are so sad, not to have him still with us, because every time you see another little message coming online, on Instagram, or on Facebook, or somewhere (they’re just popping up everywhere), everyone carries such truth. Amen.
Anyway, I mentioned, of course, about honoring. One of his reasons, I think, that God wants us to honor our parents, is because of the status of parenthood. Now, we know that not all parents are perfect. No one’s perfect, of course. Some have difficulty in honoring their parents because of the way they lived their lives. But somehow, precious ones, we’ve got to seek God to find a way to honor them. Because even if people have lived terrible lives, even if they’re the worst people on the earth, there’s still some good things that we can find.
Also, we have to honor the status of parenthood. God has chosen parents to be parents on His behalf. He gives us children, and then he gives children parents to raise them. So, parenthood is very, very precious in the eyes of God, because He sees parenthood as something that men and women, the fathers and mothers, are doing in place of Him. He has given them this mandate. We need to honor that status of parenthood.
Also, I think, too, of the generational aspect of parenthood. We think, “Oh yes, I’m parenting my children. We’re in the midst of that.” We just think we’re an entity unto ourselves. But no, ladies, we are not. We are part of past generations, and we are part of building future generations. We’re not an entity unto ourselves. We have a responsibility to make known the past generations to our children so that our children know their heritage.
God was very emphatic about this in His Word. He constantly reminded His people of their heritage. We think if we go back to Exodus 3, and we see there . . . This is where God came to Moses and revealed Himself to Moses to tell him that He wanted him to go and release and deliver His people from Egypt. So, when God revealed Himself in the burning bush, He came to him.
Here we see it, in Exodus 3:15: “And God said moreover unto Moses, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, The LORD God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, hath sent me unto you.” But He doesn’t stop there, ladies. He goes on to say: “And this is My Name forever.” Wow! Did you get that? “This is My Name forever, and this is My memorial unto all generations.”
So, when God spoke to Moses, He said, “Moses, I want you to tell My people and your people, tell them, ‘This is the God Who is sending you to them, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, the God of Jacob.’” He wanted them to know their roots, to know their past, to know who they came from. And then He said: “And this is My Name forever. This is my memorial unto all generations.” This is very powerful, actually, even to us, the Gentile church.
We worship God. We love our God. He is our Savior, our Redeemer. But often we forget Who He is. He is the God of Israel, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. And this is the Name He has said He wants to be called by. And it’s His Name forever, and a memorial for all generations.
So, God ties that to the past. Then He wants us to parent so that we are building for the future. We are part of generations.
I believe this is so important. The whole of Genesis, well, the first eleven chapters speak of the creation of the world. Then, of course, the flood, and establishing mankind. You would think it would take the whole book of Genesis, but, no, only eleven chapters. The next 39 chapters, because there are 50 chapters in Genesis, the next 39 chapters, the whole lot, is just taken up with a family, with an extended family. It’s a father, the children, the grandchildren, and then, their children’s children.
So, although it is mainly about Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and then his son Joseph (of course, they would have had children and grandchildren, so it would have been five generations). But all those chapters were taken up with the building of godly generations. Parenting is generational.
Therefore, lovely ladies, we need to keep that in mind when we’re seeking to understand what it means to honor our parents. It is part of generational parenting, and therefore, it is most important for young children, of course, that they learn to honor their parents.
WE TEACH BY EXAMPLE
But we, as older children, are now parents ourselves. We are showing our children how we honor our parents. We are always the example. We not only teach by what we say, but what we do. Dear ladies, are you showing an example to your children of honoring your parents? If they see that in you, it becomes part of their lives. They begin to understand a lifestyle of honoring.
Let’s have a look here at a few more Scriptures, shall we? Deuteronomy 4:9: “Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life: and teach them to your children, and to your grandchildren.” We are mandated, not only to teach our children, but our children’s children. It is generational. The power of parents goes on into grandparenting.
Deuteronomy 6:2: “That you may so revere the LORD your God, that you will keep all His statutes and commandments as I’m giving you, you, your children, and your grandchildren, all your life, to prolong your days.” And so, it is a teaching of our children, and our grandchildren. In this we’ll be teaching them how to honor, as we’re teaching our children, and their children. OK, that’s future generations. We’re going to be teaching them how to honor their parents. This mandating of honor continues in the generations.
This is important, ladies, because we do not see it in the society in which we live. There is such a lack of honor. There is such a lack of honor to parents, to grandparents, even to those who have gone before. We have got to come into a whole new (it shouldn’t be new) . . . old, because it’s the ancient way. It’s GOD’S way. It’s the ONLY way. God’s ways, which He gave at the beginning, are as up-to-date for us as tomorrow’s newspaper. His commandments are for all generations.
And sadly, we are living in a society where honor has been forgotten. We’ve got to bring back honor, back to where God wants honor. And so, we’re going to teach our children how to honor. As we show honor to our parents, they’ll know how to show honor to us.
So, what do your children see in your attitude to your parents? Do you speak well of them to your children? Do you seek to put in your children such a wonderful joy and excitement and love for their grandparents, and even great-grandparents if they are still alive? That’s what God wants us to do.
I can remember raising our children. I think that was one of the greatest things in my life was when we could get together with my parents, with Colin’s parents, and have beautiful family functions together. Every family function, we just wanted them to be there. Sadly, we didn’t live in the same city as my parents, and so, it was always our greatest delight to get to see them, or when they would come to see us.
I continually fostered such an excitement in the hearts of my children about their grandparents. I think this is important. Not just, “Oh well, they’re your grandparents.” No! Somehow put it in them an excitement about their lives, and how amazing they are, and such a great love for them. That was in my children. They just adored their grandparents. They were like their heroes in life. That’s how it should be.
We think of in the Bible, how everyone was introduced in the Word by their genealogy. Some people, it would just say, “He is the son of so-and-so.” Maybe it would just mention his father. Other times, it would mention his father, and his grandfather. With some people, it would go back to four generations, even five generations, and sometimes more!
It’s amazing today. We don’t really do that. When we introduce ourselves, say I was introducing myself; “Hello, I’m Nancy Campbell. Pleased to meet you.” We’d never dream of saying, “Well, I’m Nancy Campbell, the daughter of Ivan Bowen of New Zealand.” That would be great thing to do. Actually, it’s the Bible thing to do, something we’ve totally forgotten.
I think of Ruth. Now Ruth was a Moabitess who was brought into the Israeli family life. She was blessed to marry Boaz who was a real man of God. Boaz and Ruth gave birth to Obed, and then Obed gave birth to Jesse, and who was Jesse? Jesse was the father of David. So, Boaz and Ruth were the great-grandparents of King David, the king who was most probably closer to the heart of God than any other king, a man after God’s own heart, a man who God loved.
And Ruth, who was a foreigner, brought into the Israelite community, was blessed, as a great-grandmother, to have David, the little boy who would one day be king, sitting on her knee. I wonder what beautiful times Ruth had with King David, not knowing that one day he would be king.
Even now, I am a great-grandmother. I have great-grandchildren sitting on my knee. I wonder who they will be. In fact, in my lifetime, ladies, I have been part of six generations, just in my lifetime. All godly generations. I remember my grandparents on my father’s side. Sadly, I didn’t have any grandparents on my mother’s side. Her father died when I was a little baby.
He had married another woman, and she was a stepmother to my mother. She was good to my mother. She cared for her and looked after her, but she didn’t know how to show her love. My mother grew up without ever really knowing the love of a mother, and yet, she turned out the greatest mother.
But on my father’s side, I had these beautiful grandparents who lived right next door to us. In fact, I remember an incident when I was a child. We had this swing. It was a wooden swing. Everything I did as a child was excessive. I couldn’t do anything normally. I remember swinging. I swung the swing so robustly, so crazily, so highly, that the whole big swing, which was really meant to be so fastened to the ground, just toppled over. It landed on top of me!
They thought that was the end of me. They thought I was finished. In fact, I was aware, and I can remember my grandmother crying out to God for me. I don’t think I was saved at that time. She was more concerned for my soul than she was for my body. All she did was pray that I would be ready to meet Jesus! I’ll never forget that. She was more concerned for my soul than anything. But they were wonderful grandparents.
We knew them, and then, of course, that’s the first generation that I knew. I didn’t know my great-grandparents. Then my parents, second generation. Colin and me, third; our children, fourth. All their children (our grandchildren), fifth, and now, we have just on 39 great-grandchildren. That’s our sixth generation in my lifetime. Isn’t that amazing? Some of you may have that. Some of you will get that if the Lord doesn’t come. So, we are parenting generationally.
Listen to Psalm 78:5-6: “For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: that the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children (I’ve got up to about six generations now) that they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments.” So, you see there God’s heart. It’s His heart for generational parenting.
Psalm 145:4: “One generation shall praise Thy works to another, and shall declare Thy mighty acts.”
Getting back to introducing someone in the Bible, I look at 1 Samuel 1:1. This is introducing Elkanah, who was the husband of Hannah, the one who gave birth to Samuel. It says here: “Now there was a certain man of mount Ephraim, and his name was Elkanah, the son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephrathite.” So, there we have five generations. Imagine being introduced by five generations?
I remember years ago reading through the minor prophets. I got up to Zephaniah 1:1, and I read this Scripture: “The word of the LORD which came unto Zephaniah the son of Cushi, the son of Gedaliah, the son of Amariah, the son of Hizkiah, in the days of Josiah.” Once again, five generations. As I was reading that Scripture, I got an incredible vision. Wow! How could you do that out of a genealogy?
Well, it said that he went back by generations to Hezekiah, who was a godly king who loved the Lord, and cleaved to the Lord with all his heart. And now his great-grandson is a prophet to the nation. I said, “Oh, wow. Lord God, this is my longing, my prayer, my vision, that not only my children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, but future generations will continue to serve You, and even five generations later they will come forth prophets and mighty warriors for God’s kingdom.” Oh, yes, there is such power in generational parenting.
All right, ladies. What about the past? Yes, I’m sharing with you how we need to really foster and encourage that remembering of past generations while they’re here. Yes, most importantly, while they are here. But even when they’re gone, it’s so easy to let past generations be forgotten.
It was later in my parents’ life, and I’m so sad that I didn’t do it earlier. But I got this vision to write to all the extended family who were still alive, and all the friends that my parents knew in New Zealand, where they lived, and across the world, because they had met so many people and shown hospitality to so many people in their home. I wrote to all these people, and I said, “I’m making a book of memories of my parent’s life. Would you please write back, and share one little incident you remember of your life with them?”
And I was so blessed because people responded. You know, sometimes you could get a letter like this and not do anything about it. Well, I’m so glad. People responded. So, I have them right here with me now. I was looking at them this morning. I have two full scrapbooks of the most wonderful things that people wrote about my parents. And also, what I wrote, and what my siblings wrote, and my cousins. People close to them wrote, as well as friends and family.
So, sadly, although I started this before my mother passed away, I hadn’t got it completed. She did not see it. I’m so sad, but at least we have it for the generations. They can read about her wonderful life.
Actually, it was right. I really just missed it. In fact, I was here in the States. My parents lived in New Zealand, and I knew my mother was not well as I’d been in touch with my father constantly. But he said, “She’s fine. It's OK. You don’t need to rush home.”
But then, I got a call. “You’d better come. She’s going down. You’d better come quickly.” I’ll never forget how my son was able to get this flight immediately for me. I was throwing things in my case as I ran out the door. I was so desperate, so desperate to see my mother for this one last time. In fact, I wrote a poem to her on the plane. I wanted to read it to her when I got there.
I got to Los Angeles airport from Nashville and there was a message that came over the loudspeaker. “Would Nancy Campbell please come to this certain place.” I think I knew what was going to be told me. I found this office where I had to go. The message was that my mother had already passed away. I had to fly from LA, that long flight down to New Zealand, knowing I had missed her.
You know, we can’t wait to do things, can we? We have to do them while we can. Even now, think of things. Talk to the Lord about it. Ask Him, and say, “Lord, show me ways that I can honor my parents, and show my children that honor to their grandparents. Show us what we could do.” There are all kinds of things that you can do, and make sure you incorporate them in your lives as much as you possibly can.
I think my favorite thing in life is to go to every birthday party, and every function with every grandchild, and every great-grandchild, because all you want to do as a grandparent is to be totally part of your grandchildren’s lives. Grandparents long to be part of their grandchildren’s lives.
I’ll read you this poem I wrote. I wrote this, and some of it was before she passed away. The rest was on that flight when I knew that she had gone.
Godliness with contentment, this surely is gain.
A virtue to which not many can claim.
There’s a lady Down Under, very gentle and sweet,
Who enjoys contentment, and her life was complete.
Her home was her sanctuary, a warm, tranquil place,
Which she filled with love and joy and grace,
She was content in her home, supporting her man,
An example to others of God’s perfect plan.
She was happy with the simple joys of this life,
Serving her family and being a wife.
Cooking in her kitchen, cutting up the salads,
Singing a hymn, or a lovely ballad.
Her food was the best, as everyone knows,
Who had sat at her table where the atmosphere glows.
She made the best salads, and the best muffins by far.
And her date scones, they were famous, above usual par!
Every meal was nutritious, and a delight to eat,
Her healthy vegetable soups were a real treat,
But people came to her home for more than just eating,
They came to receive sustenance that was not fleeting.
At her kitchen table, she ministered God’s love,
And shared about her Savior in Heaven above,
She loved to talk of Jesus and His unfailing care,
And her greatest desire was to meet Him in the air.
The heart of her home was where she glowed.
As she comforted the saints, and God’s presence flowed,
Her sweet, gentle spirit brought a lovely refreshing,
And her quiet, listening ear was always a blessing.
She visited the widows, and the sad, lonely ones,
Taking them soup and whole meal buns.
She had a tender heart, and her eyes filled with tears,
As she prayed for those with hurts and fears.
She was always considerate and very kind,
The most unselfish person you could ever find,
She put herself last, and others to the fore,
And a true, faithful friend, you couldn’t wish for more.
She loved to walk round the lake, and through the redwoods so tall,
She loved God’s creation, and to hear the birds call,
Not many could keep up with her fast-walking pace,
As she stepped it out briskly, with the wind on her face.
She was known in her prime as the Stortford Lodge Express.
She walked one mile to work, but here’s more, I confess,
She walked the mile home for lunch, and the mile back again,
And then another mile home at the end of the day.
She was a true lady, and dressed to perfection,
Making all her own clothes, right down to each section,
You’d find her happy and contented at her sewing machine,
Creating exclusive clothes that could be worn by the Queen.
We salute this dear lady, who delighted in the Lord,
And who in her home, never got bored.
She didn’t hanker for worldly attractions and play,
Or desire to go out in the career world for the day.
Instead, she contently filled each moment and hour,
Serving, praying, trusting God’s power.
Her life was rich, and she enriched hundreds of others,
She certainly was the best of all mothers.
I also have a beautiful thing that Pearlie, my daughter Pearl, wrote before she was married. She wrote it about her grandmother. It’s called “More Than Toast and Pots and Pans.” It’s so beautiful. I’ll put it on the transcript for you to read, because I see our time has gone.
“Dear Father, we thank You for Your vision for parenting, which is generational parenting. Lord God, we are not a product of our own. We are part of the past. We are part of the future. Help us to realize this, dear Father.
“And I ask, Lord, for all these dear parents who are now raising children, that You will show them, Lord. Some of them have difficult situations to face, but I pray that you will show them how, how to show honor to their older parents.
“Lord, this is Your Word, this is Your heart, this is Your mandate, this is Your command. And, Lord, I pray that You will show these precious wives and mothers how to do it. Bring things to their minds, ways they can do it, creative ways to bless their parents.
“And Lord, to show to their children what it means to honor their parents. I pray that you will help us all. I pray that you’ll help this society. I pray, Lord God, for honor to come back into this society. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.”
Blessings from Nancy Campbell
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Transcribed by Darlene Norris
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DON’T FORGET TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT THESE PODCASTS AND TRANSCRIPTS.
“LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell, Above Rubies”
DON’T KEEP THE BLESSINGS TO YOURSELF.
ALL WIVES AND MOTHERS NEED ENCOURAGING.
MORE THAN TOAST AND
POTS AND PANS
By Pearl Barrett
It was fascinating, the way she cut those onions. I moved a little closer and mouthed, "Wow, what a great trick." She did not even have to look. Her hands worked the knife and the vegetables as if they were directing themselves, with no need of mind or eyes. Chop, chop, she was humming to the rhythm, and her gaze was far away. No onion tears, just a sweet content in her eyes as they rested on the blue calm of the lake which filled the window view.
She was a true heroine in my eyes, my Nana. To be able to perform such a feat without even looking got my awe any day. "How come you do not cut yourself?" I wanted to know. This was likely the fiftieth question I had asked in the last quarter of an hour, but there's a lot you've just got to find out when you're eight years old.
She turned and appraised me with a half smile. "When you get to my age, you do not even have to think about it," she said.
I decided then and there that growing old did not seem such a bad idea. If I ended up anything like my Nana, I would even look forward to it. And then kerwoosh, (well, it sounded something like that anyway) she tossed the onions into the pan, and I clapped my hands in glee and inhaled the aroma.
My grandparent's kitchen--I shall never forget its atmosphere. I may have only been eight, more years ago than I would like to count, but the memory is as vivid as if it was...well, as if I was there right now. I can still smell the soup simmering in the large pot. I can still see her preparing the meal and hear the regular call to my grandfather, "Keep that fire going now, we want the kitchen to stay warm." And it was warm but not only in the temperature sense. The warmth nestled in the very vibes of the air with happiness and security. It pervaded, because she was there. If it wasn't one of the three main meals keeping her busy, there was always a fruit loaf to bake or a new healthy dessert recipe to try. Or she'd sit at the small round table and write letters to friends, gazing at the lake now and then for her inspiration.
Her kitchen had a heartbeat!
Perched on my stool, watching her through those childhood eyes, I learned that the kitchen is more than just a room. Its significance goes beyond a feeding facility. Her kitchen had a heart beat. Though she may not have been young, there was more life there than the local coffee house.
It was in her kitchen that she welcomed friends and those who were lonely. An herb tea made in a pottery teapot and “something nourishing to eat” were the items on her menu during visiting hours... though there never seemed to be a closing time. But it wasn't just for the home-made food they came. It was the listening ear she offered and the well-chosen words of counsel. Her kitchen was not only a place to feed the hungry; it was a psychiatry office with a stool for a couch.
I never saw anything but a fulfilled woman!
It was never a place or drudgery for Nana. Certainly, she often worked hard, and there would be piles of dishes, pots boiling over, steam and a little bit of sweat. But the mundane chores could not dampen her pleasure of serving others. It's been said that the only way to true happiness is by helping others--this worked for her. Her smile told everyone so. So did the songs which she hummed and sometimes belted forth, so loud you'd wonder how such a small woman could summon such decibels. I've heard her sing Amazing Grace at phenomenal volume. Shoulders straight, hands clasped, she'd let it fly. Looking back, I've wondered whether she ever felt less than a successful woman when the liberation movement swept the world. There she was, a housewife, and to add to the stereotype--a seamstress. That does not spell "ultimate fulfillment" in feminist language. But, I only know what I saw, and I never saw anything other than a fulfilled woman.
The tasks she accomplished everyday were not demeaning to her intelligence, as far as she was concerned, and her opinion was the one that counted. She did not need liberating because she never considered herself repressed. In fact, she loved the kitchen. And so simply, that is why we did too. The announcement of an intended visit to our grandparents would ignite in us children an excitement much too wild to suppress. "Yippee!" we would yell and dance around the house. "We're going to see them, Yeah!"
"I've got the window seat," one of us would yell.
.
"No way, you had it last time." Inevitably a rip-roaring argument would ensue, but as it was a regular part of the hysteria no one really minded. We were off to see Nana and Granddad and nothing could dampen our spirits, not even when the arguing sometimes turned to thumping.
We would arrive at their home after a day's long trip and leap out of the car, scattering peanuts and pillows on to the driveway. It was a race to the front door. Up the wooden steps, through the overhanging ferns, up and up, panting and running until we reached the front door, and there they were, waiting for us.
"How's my best mates?"
"How's my best mates?" Granddad would boom, squeezing each one of us in a hug that never failed to squash out spare breath. Then we would head straight for the kitchen, six children, a set of parents and two more in their golden age, with their arms around one another and as many of us as they could capture. Through the door the glowing, wafting kitchen would open its arms to us, and we would crowd around the oven, guessing its contents and hinting vocally of the hunger that gnawed in our stomachs.
It was never a disappointment. Always the room gave the promise of a wonderful meal, the chance to boast to a doting grandparent. Always it lived up to the excitement.
But we weren't the only ones who were big fans of their kitchen. It attracted many other pilgrims who knocked on the front door and ended up staying for days. Granddad was very adept at pulling people in from the doorstep, dragging them into the kitchen, sitting them down at the table and stuffing them full. He was a food man. "Tucker" he called it. "What you need is some good tucker," he'd say, pulling out the contents of the refrigerator at remarkable speed and lining them up on the counter.
There was a fierce, unspoken competition between my grandparents as to who was the master chef. Granddad considered himself quite the man for the job. He'd hold up a slab of meat. "Hunted this myself; you'll never taste anything like it." He'd thrust it into the oven like he was scoring a goal, and then begin a boisterous and dramatic commentary on the items of food the guest would be served. "See this honey here?” He'd hold it up and beam proudly. "Comes from my own bees, greatest in the country."
Their kitchen was there for others--always open. They liked it full, so full it was. There are many who have its memories like I do; many who have learned the meaning of happiness through watching them give. They too must have learned that a kitchen is more than toast and pots and pans. And some days I'm sure that they, like me, cannot help longing for hot soup and a little golden-haired woman who made afternoons of staring out of a kitchen window the most cherished moments of a life time.
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Pearl Barrett is Nancy Campbell's daughter. This story is about Nancy's parents, Ivan and Joyce Bowen of New Zealand. Joyce Bowen moved to Heaven on the 28 January 1999. Although Pearl wrote this story about her grandmother before she was married (she is now a grandmother herself), this story is as beautiful a when she wrote it.
UPDATE:
When enjoying a special luncheon to remember Nana Bowen (2013), I read this story again. Pearl was about eight years of age when describing herself in this story. Her youngest daughter, Autumn Rose was eight years and listened with wide eyes of delight as she heard the story of her mother remembering her grandmother. In fact, all the little cousins were in awe and the adults were all crying as we remembered this wonderful lady.
~ Nancy