PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 381: DO YOU WANT TO LIVE A LONG LIFE? Part 2
LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell
EPISODE 381: DO YOU WANT TO LIVE A LONG LIFE? Part 2
God gives us ten different things in the Bible regarding our attitude toward parents. We talk about the first five today. They are very powerful. Don't miss this session.
Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to the Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies, a magazine bringing strength and encouragement to families across the world.
Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! Today we are continuing our series about the attitudes God wants us to have towards parents. I have ten points. Last week we talked about HONORING PARENTS.
Today we’re up to . . .
NUMBER TWO. OBEY YOUR PARENTS
Let’s look at some Scriptures. Proverbs 30:17: “The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pluck it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.” Wow! That’s pretty strong, isn’t it?
OK, over to the New Testament. Ephesians 6:1: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”
Colossians 3:20: “Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.”
The word “obey” in the Greek is hupakouo. I think that’s how you say it. And it means, “to hearken to a command, to obey, to be obedient unto, submit to, to listen attentively, to heed, or conform to a command.”
We see that God’s Word is very strong about children obeying parents. If our children don’t learn to obey us, well, how are they ever going to obey the Lord? We are their practice run for their walk with the Lord! That’s pretty powerful, isn’t it? But that is so true.
God has placed us in His place on this earth. God . . . of everything that He is, He is essentially a Father. And also, in the heart of the Father, there is His mother nurturing heart. Fathering comes from God. Mothering comes from God. God wants us reveal this to our children. He looks upon it very strongly when children disobey us, because, really, they are disobeying the Lord.
Now, I know, dear mothers, it’s not an easy thing to teach our children obedience, s it? Because they’re all born with this sinful nature and this tendency to disobedience. So, we are continually helping them in this regard, to learn to obey. Of course, we try to teach them to obey immediately, to obey the first time.
To let our children get away with things, and obey by about the tenth time, when now we’re absolutely screaming and yelling at them, that is not the way to parent at all. No, we quietly and firmly teach them the first time. If they don’t obey the first time, we have consequences. But the consequences will not be getting upset and mad because you've told them fifteen times, and they’re not doing it, and now you're a screaming lunatic. That is ridiculous parenting.
BEFORE YOUR CHILDREN LEARN TO OBEY, THEY MUST FIRST LEARN TO HEAR
No, we are firm, and we keep to our word, but we make sure we teach them. Of course, in doing that, you have to make sure that they first hear. No person can obey a command unless they hear it. It’s very easy for us as parents to yell a command from the kitchen and hope our children hear it. Maybe they didn’t hear it. Then we can get upset because they didn’t do it.
Did they really hear? We must make sure a command is heard before we give consequences for their not obeying that command. Even with little children, we have to teach them how to hear. Did you know? We really must teach our children how to hear before they learn how to obey. They’ve got to learn to have hearing ears. This is a huge thing.
A lot of people don’t have hearing ears. Young people don’t have hearing ears. Adults don’t have hearing ears. They’re just in their own world. They’re not used to listening to hear. If we don’t get into the habit of listening to hear, how will we hear from God?
Dear lovely mothers, we’ve got to train our children to be listeners, to listen to what we tell them to do. And even when we’re having family devotions, to learn how to listen, because it’s so easy to get into a dream. I can get into a dream when my husband is reading the Word. It is so easy, but that’s why we’ve got to keep asking questions to keep their attention.
A wonderful thing to do too, you can do this sometimes, not all the time. But it’s a very good thing to do quite frequently, to remind the children, when we’re reading the Word of God, “Children, we’re not just reading this book, the Bible, as it’s called. We are listening to the voice of God. OK, open not just your physical ears. Open the ears of your heart, and say, ‘God, speak to me.’ When we’re finished reading, I’m going to ask you what God spoke to you.’”
So, you remind them to have ears that are pricked up, like an animal that pricks up its ears when it hears something. Like our dog, it hears cars and people coming. We never hear them. We know someone’s coming well before they get even get to our door, because the dog will begin barking. They have alert ears. We’ve got to train our children to have alert ears, alert to hear what God is saying.
We help them with that, even learning to hear what we are saying. When you have a little one, and you say to them, “Susie, I want you to pick up your toys. Susie, what did I say?” “Pick up toys.” “That’s right. You heard me, so now I want you to pick them up, OK?” And then if she’s not really doing it, get down and help her, and show her what to do, so that she’s going to know, when you say that, and she hears it, she has got to obey.
It’s a good idea to ask them the question, “What did I say?” Then there is no excuse. You can even ask of an older child. Ask them to do something. “Now, what did I say?” You get them to tell you. Then they know, so they have no excuse if they disobey. So, we are teaching them how to listen. First of all, how to listen. If you're having a problem with your children obeying, maybe you've got to get back to the very first step which is learning how to listen.
When they learn to listen to you, they learn to listen to God. Oh, one of the most beautiful things to teach your children is to teach them how to hear God speak to them, when they’re listening to the Word of God or reading it on their own.
Many people don’t know how. They just read the Word, but they haven’t tuned their inner ears to hear God, and say, “God, I’m listening. Please speak to me in my spirit. Speak to me as I read Your Word. And Lord, I don’t want to forget them. I’m here to remember what You say to me, so I’ve got my journal, and I’ve got my pen, and I’m ready to write down what You say.”
God knows you mean business when you do that and He will speak to you. Maybe it’s just faint. It’s little. It’s a whisper. But you listen to the whisper, and you write that down. And then, as you write, more comes, and you understand more clearly, and God says more to you. This is how I have done my Bible reading throughout my life and it is so exciting. I cannot wait in the morning to run to my little trysting place, where I open the Word to hear from God. Every morning, He speaks! It’s just so wonderful!
HEARING AND OBEDIENCE ARE TWINS
So, teach your children, right from a young age, how to hear. And then, of course, knowing that through hearing is obedience. When you hear, then you obey. Hearing and obedience are twins. They go together. This is how you’ll be teaching your children how to obey their parents so they can obey the Lord. Amen?
That Greek word, hupakouo, however you say it, is used in lots of other places apart from obeying parents. I’ll read you those other places. I’ll give you the Scriptures in the transcript. You won’t have time to take them down now. But each one is a Scripture, and as we read them, you’ll see more of the power of the word “obedience.”
Matthew 8:27 (Mark 4:14 and Luke 8:25): The winds obey Jesus.
Mark 1:27: The unclean spirits obey Jesus.
Luke 17:6: Trees obey Jesus when He tells them to be planted elsewhere.
Romans 6:12: We must never obey the lusts of the flesh.
Romans 6:17: We must obey from the heart the doctrine of the Lord.
Romans 10:16: We must obey the gospel.
Ephesians 6: 5 and Colossians 3:22: Servants must obey their masters in all things.
Philippians 2:12: We must ALWAYS obey the Lord.
1 Thessalonians 1:8: God will take vengeance on them that do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Hebrews 5:9: We receive eternal salvation when we obey the Lord.
Hebrews 11:8: Abraham obeyed God when God told him to leave Ur of Chaldea even when he had no idea where he was going.
All those Scriptures use the same word as is used for obeying parents.
Then we also see it in the negative. 2 Timothy 3:1-5: “This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.”
But do you notice, ladies, that the Bible calls it “perilous times” when children are disobedient? It’s so foreign to God’s heart for children to be disobedient that He calls it “perilous times.” That’s how important it is.
NUMBER THREE. REVERE YOUR PARENTS
Leviticus 19:2-3: “Speak unto all the congregation of the children of Israel, and say unto them, “Ye shall be holy, for I, the Lord your God am holy. You shall fear every man his mother and his father, and keep my Sabbath. I am the Lord, your God.”
This is an interesting Scripture, ladies, because here it gets even more powerful. It doesn’t just say: “Honor your parents.” It doesn’t only say: “Obey your parents,” but here it says: “Fear your parents.” Reverence them. Give them the fear that you would to God, because it’s the same word that is used for “the fear of the Lord.” Here, it is the fear of parents. Wow! God wants us to have a very awesome honor of our parents and to fear their discipline if we do wrong.
That is healthy, yes. If children don’t have any fear of their parents, and they think they can just do anything and get away with it, they don’t understand the judgment and justice of God. Oh, my. It’s we who reveal the justice and judgment of God. There is always going to be retribution. There is going to be something that will happen for doing wrong. To do something wrong, to totally disobey, to totally rebel, is sin.
If it’s not judged correctly, how are our children going to grow up? They’ll never grow up understanding the fear of the Lord. Oh yes, we are to love the Lord. We have a love relationship with Him, but we also have a fear relationship, that we fear to displease Him, and we tremble at His words. Yes, I love that Scripture in Isaiah 66:2: “But to this man will I look, even to him that is poor, and of a contrite spirit, and trembles at my words.”
Have you ever trembled at the Word of God? I often tremble. I’m reading the Word. I’m reading about God’s judgement on something, not only in the Old Testament. The judgement of God upon evil is just as much in the New Testament, and I tremble. God is so filled with longsuffering and patience, and He waits, and He waits for those to come to Him. Yet, there is coming a day when He will bring judgement to all evil. It’s going to be a horrific day when God arises, when He roars from His temple, and when He brings all nations into subjection unto Him. That day is coming.
But in the meantime, yes, we want to establish in our home—a home of love, and joy, and laughter—but we won’t ever have that if we don’t deal with sin. Sin and rebellion and disobedience do not bless a home. They bring havoc to a home! And to enjoy our children, we have to bring discipline when they have done wrong. This should be a holy FEAR in our children regarding that.
And notice, ladies, whoo, do you notice this? This is one of three Scriptures where the mother is mentioned first. In most Scriptures, it is the father mentioned first. If it is talking about father and mother, father is mentioned first. But in this one, and it’s interesting that it’s the one which is “fear thy mother.” Mother is first. I think God wants to emphasize it there, because it is easier for children to fear, or revere, their father.
In fact, I remember raising our children. You’re with your children all day long. Goodness me, things are getting in a mess, and you want to get things sorted out, and you're trying to get everybody working, and doing what they’re told. They’re not really listening to you very well. But Father comes in the door, and one word from him and everything happens! Because they have this greater fear and reverence, look out! Dad’s home! Whoo! Help!
That is good. It’s so good to have a father in the home. When I was raising our teens, I was so glad I wasn’t a single mom. And, of course, lovely single moms listening today, oh, my heart goes out to you. You’re doing such a great job, because you're seeking to be mother and father, where you really can’t be both because a mother is a mother, and we really can’t be a father. So, that is missing and it makes it more difficult for you because the father brings a greater strength of ordering discipline to the home.
But here, God is saying, “OK, you might have that reverence for your father, but I want you to have it for your mother!” “Fear thou thy mother and thy father.” Isn’t that interesting? Take heart, mothers. Yes, rise up in the authority that God has given you as a mother, as the manager of your home, as the one who is training your children. Know that you are doing a great job. Know that you are in the place of God and take up your authority.
Don’t give it up! Don’t give it up and let your children rule you. No, that is not a home. A home is where the parents rule. The mother who is home, mainly in the day, will be ruling. Of course, when her husband comes home, it adds that greater strength. But know who you are. Take up your authority as a mother. And remember, the Scriptures say: “Fear thou thy mother and thy father.”
Now, notice something else. This is the very first command, and many, many commands are given after this command in Leviticus 19. But this is the very first command that is given after it says: “Ye shall be holy. Fear thou thy mother and thy father.”
If we do not have reverence for our mother and father, we cannot say that we are holy. This comes immediately after God says: “Be ye holy, for I am holy.”
Another Scripture, Leviticus 18:7: “The nakedness of thy father, or the nakedness of thy mother, shall thou not uncover. She is thy mother. Thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.”
NUMBER FOUR. BLESS YOUR PARENTS
What does the Scripture say about this? Proverbs 30:11: “There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother.” Whoo! In other words, God is saying, “Wow, children are to bless their mother.” If they don’t, wow! It’s not a generation that is pleasing in the eyes of God.
The word “bless” there is barach, and it means “to adore, to praise, to invoke blessings in the name of God, to kneel before, to bend the knee.” It’s the same word that is used where it says in Psalm 95:6: “Oh come, let us worship and bow down. Let us kneel before the Lord our Maker.”
Proverbs 23:25: “Let your father and mother be glad. Let her who bore you, your mother, rejoice.”
Then we have, of course, Proverbs 31:28. This is the beautiful chapter about the virtuous woman. My husband reads Proverbs 31 every Friday evening when we have our Shabbat meal. Our Shabbat meal is the most precious family meal of the week. I think every meal should be a special family meal, but Shabbat meal is the extra special family meal. It’s a meal where God has ordained that the mother be honored and blessed. It’s a beautiful thing.
So, when my husband is reading Proverbs 31 and he gets to verse 28, it says: “Her children rise and call her blessed. Her husband, also, and he praises her.” Well, he stops then, if we have children around the table. If we have grandchildren, they will rise up to call me blessed. But oftentimes we have families. We never have a Shabbat meal without asking someone to join us. Often, we will have a family. So, the mother and father have their children with them.
My husband will say, “OK, it’s time, children, for you to bless your mother. I want you all to stand up, because that’s what the Bible says. We do it exactly as the Bible says. The children rise up.” So, the children stand up. And then he says, “I want you to say something lovely to your mom. Tell her, ‘I love you, Mom.’ Or think of some lovely thing that she does for you. Praise her for something. Let’s start with the oldest.”
So, each one will say a little thing to bless their mother. It’s so beautiful. Sometimes it is the first time this mother has ever had this happen to her. Her children rising up, calling her blessed, and saying something special to her. But it shouldn’t be just the only time. It should be the beginning of many times, because I believe that every family should embrace this beautiful Shabbat meal in their home. Then, on every single Friday night, they’re rising up to bless their mother. It is so biblical and it’s right there in the Word.
Then, of course, the Scripture goes on to say: “And her husband also praises her.” So then, after that, my husband will praise me, and bless me, and say all the wonderful things he can think of about me. That is so amazing to have this happen every week. That’s why we encourage families to do this. Here the husband will bless his wife and he’s doing that in front of the children. The children are hearing him give praises to her. It’s such a beautiful thing for the mother, for the whole family.
If you want to learn a little bit more about it, you can go to my webpage, AboveRubies.org, and put in the search, “Shabbat meal.” It will give you ideas of how you can go about doing it. So, that is another commandment. It’s not just a suggestion. It’s a commandment, to bless mothers. Amen? Oh yes, that is such a good one.
Well, we’re only halfway through, or nearly halfway through.
NUMBER FIVE. NEVER BELITTLE YOUR PARENTS
This is a very powerful one, ladies. There are a number of Scriptures about it. We’ll read them.
Exodus 21:15: “He that smiteth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death.”
Exodus 21:17: “He that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.”
Leviticus 20:9: “For everyone that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death. He hath cursed his father or his mother. His blood shall be upon him.” Wow! That is powerful. You curse your parents and you're going to be put to death? Wow!
Proverbs 20:20: “He who curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.”
I know that everyone listening here, not one of you would ever, ever curse your father or mother. But darling ladies, oh, what does this word “curse” mean? Whoo! When we understand what it means, it gets rather scary. The word “curse” in the above Scriptures I just read to you is qalal, Q-A-L-A-L, meaning, this is what it means: “to make of little account, to make insignificant, to lightly esteem, to make despicable, to treat with contempt, to dishonor, to belittle.” Wow!
Does that put the fear of God into you? Now, none of you would ever think of cursing your father or mother, but that word, as I’ve just shared with you, means “to lightly esteem them, to make them of little account.” God sees that as a curse. Wow! How careful we must be, even us as adults, about our parents. Maybe they haven’t been perfect parents, but we cannot treat them lightly or even belittle them. We must watch our own children, that they do not get into the habit of treating us lightly, or belittling us. We have to teach them the Scriptures, because the judgement upon them is powerful.
We see this even more powerfully when God uses the same word, that word qalal, for the sons of Eli, Hophni and Phineas. God judged Eli because of them. He says, “I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knoweth, because his sons made themselves vile.” That’s the same word, qalal. “And He restrained them not.”
When God sees children belittling parents, treating them lightly, not esteeming them, He sees this as vile. So, ladies, this takes us into a greater understanding. We know the words: “Honor your father and mother.” But now, we are understanding more, and we haven’t finished yet. We’ll talk about more things next week of what God says and how He really feels about children and what attitude they should have towards their parents.
Time has gone by for this session, so we’ll get onto it more next time, ladies. Let’s pray, shall we?
“Dear Father, once again, as we come to Your Word, we tremble. And Lord, we want to be those who walk in the fear of the Lord, and Lord, to walk in the fear of the Lord is to take notice of Your Word. And we see, Lord, in Your Word, how you see, and how, Lord God, how vile it is to You when children make little of their parents. They belittle them, treat them lightly, sometimes even with contempt.
“Lord God, we pray, we pray, Lord, that Your Word and Your ways will come back to this nation, a nation that has forgotten how to honor. They’ve forgotten how to honor God, because they’ve forgotten how to honor parents and older people. Lord God, we pray, Lord God, for Your Word of truth to come back to us and our families, and then into this nation. We ask it in the mighty Name of Jesus. Amen.”
Blessings from Nancy Campbell
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Transcribed by Darlene Norris
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