PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 366: WORKING TOGETHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE
LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell
EPISODE 366: WORKING TOGETHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE
You will really love this podcast as Becca Groves talks about learning to go with her husband's vision of homesteading and tells stories of how God has helped them to work together and become a team.
Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.
Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies. Here we are again, and I have Becca Groves with me again. They’re here all the way from Minnesota. We’re here to share together again. Her husband is the author of two books, Durable Trades and The Family Economy. We may talk about this together. But in our last podcast together, Becca and I got talking about soup, gardens, and all kinds of things.
I was thinking, as we were talking about them, about my own mother. I was very blessed to be raised by a loving mother and homemaker who loved home. I didn’t need to get any lessons about the difference of male and female and husband and wife, because I saw it worked out before my eyes.
My father was a great man, a great provider, a real man’s man. And my mother was this beautiful wife and mother and homemaker. Oh, how my father loved her! He was so proud of her. She was a great mother, but the thing that she loved to do was to sew. She’d been a professional dressmaker before she was married. She loved to sew our clothes. In fact, right up until I was married, she sewed my beautiful dresses. I was so blessed. She even made her husband’s jackets and sports coats.
She would now, I think, be about 105 years of age if she was still alive. She passed away at 83. But I wrote a poem about her. I wrote more than one, but I’ll just read you this one, because it gives a picture of a very contented wife and mother in the home. I call it “Nana’s Kitchen,” because she was called “Nana” by all her grandchildren, whereas I am also called “Nana” by all my grandchildren now. Now we’re having great-grandchildren. We have 37 great-grandchildren so far, and we’re just getting started! Anyway, “Nana’s Kitchen.”
Nana’s kitchen exuded warmth and love,
It was a little taste of heaven above,
It had a drawing power that was irresistible,
Beckoning, nourishing, totally amiable.
Out of her oven came delectable food,
To make you feel in a wonderful mood,
Scones, bran muffins, and healthy cookies,
Filled with raisins, nuts, and goodies.
She liked to add dried ginger as well,
This made Granddad feel real swell.
Every meal was scrumptious and served with care,
There was always more than enough to spare.
Nana started the day with millet and linseed,
The king of cereals for her body’s need.
What a joy to sit down for lunch with Nana,
And eat her wholesome soups, oh, what manna!
Oh yes, the salad, Nana would never forget
To have her raw veggies with vinaigrette.
But more than the food, it was Nana herself,
Imparting counsel and wisdom which is true wealth.
She always had some new story to tell,
Perhaps about health or some personnel,
But best of all, rich nuggets from the Lord,
The One she loved and always adored.
Oh, how we long for those moments again,
Yet in our memories they’ll forever remain,
Of sitting at her table and being nourished,
While our whole body, soul, and spirit flourished.
Becca: Wow.
Nancy: Isn’t that great?
Becca: It raises the bar.
Nancy: I was very blessed to grow up with that. And yet, you know, she didn’t have it perfect as she was growing up. Her mother died when she was very little, just a toddler. Later her father married again. This woman was good to her, but she never knew how to show love. She didn’t grow up with the expression of love.
But then she married my father, and he was a very outgoing, loving man. Somehow, she learned to be that way herself. So, I was so very blessed. I had a wonderful example to carry on. Yes, and then for that to carry on to my children. I think cooking . . . Nana’s life was in the kitchen, cooking. Then it had been a big part of my life.
That’s another thing. I notice a lot of homeschooling mothers today, as their children are growing, as their daughters are hitting their teenage years, they are handing over the cooking to them. That becomes their job. Now, I don’t know what to say. I think that’s very good in some ways. But I have to tell you, I could never hand that over completely.
Of course, my daughters learned to cook. Who are they today? Trim Healthy Mama! They’re amazing, the most amazing cooks! They’re most amazing with food. This anointing with food comes right back to my mother.
But I could never completely hand that over, because I believe that no matter what stage of our mothering, we should still be the heart of the home. Cooking is such an anointing of nourishing and blessing. How could I ever give that up? Of course, we want to train our daughters and give them that opportunity. I think that’s very important. But to completely back away from it, no. I think we’ve always got to be there in the heart of the home.
Becca: You know, it’s funny you say that, because our dishwasher broke, maybe half a year ago. My husband said, “Let’s not fix it.” “What? Wait a minute.” [laughter] We have been doing dishes by hand, and I can’t get over the fruit of that practice, because it means that there’s just a couple of us squished up together, one scrubbing, one rinsing, and another wiping. We’re all scuttling about the kitchen.
Our hearts aren’t always joyful, but it is a wonder how that practice, our hearts will open up, often. Conversation will start to tumble out. Things will start to be shared, and it’s as we’re working together, side by side.
Nancy: Well, dishwashers are always breaking, aren’t they? I’ve had so many dishwashers that have broken. Now we are in the same state. I think, “Don’t let’s get another one.” We haven’t had another one for years! We just wash dishes. Well, I actually love washing dishes. I can wash them so quickly. Wow! Just one flick and I’ve done them.
Of course, if there are a lot, it is really the job of my Above Rubies girls to do the dishes because I cook the meals. They are meant to do the dishes. Oh, but sometimes I do have to just leave the kitchen, because I can’t believe how slow they are. This job, which could take five minutes, takes half an hour or more. [laughter] I don’t know, they just maybe haven’t learned to do them quickly. Or, of course, most of them have dishwashers! And these poor darling girls, now they’ve got to wash by hand! Oh, it must be terrible for them. But anyway . . . [laughter]
Becca: It’s funny, because we’ll set a timer, and we’ll try to beat our own record.
Nancy: I love that! Cheaper by the Dozen. Have you ever read Cheaper by The Dozen?
Becca: I never did.
Nancy: Oh, you should read it! It is so amazing! It’s been years since I read it. But he used to have his stopwatch out. Every single thing they did in the house, he would time it to see it they could cut corners and do it better. Not less. They had to not only do it better, but quicker. They would get every job down to the quickest time.
Becca: That is a life skill right there. We could mope and we could do things. It turns into real labor.
Nancy: True!
Becca: Or we can go hit it, we can work hard, and we can move on with the next thing.
Nancy: That is so true. You can make a task a long, boring, laborious task, or you just get it done! You feel you've accomplished something!
Becca: My nine-year-old came in from getting the . . . She feeds the chickens, the hens, in the mornings. She said, “Well, Mom, I swallowed the big frogs first.” She doesn’t like going to feed the chickens because she has to lock up the dog. Otherwise, the dog tries to get into the henhouse and it’s a big rigamarole. It’s usually a little bit of drama out there.
I said, “Oh, go tell your dad that! That’s awesome to hear!” Because that’s her chore that she doesn’t enjoy the most. I thought, “Well, that’s a good life lesson right there. Just wake up, go out to the henhouse, do the thing you don’t want to do the most, and then get on with your morning.” That was really sweet.
Nancy: Yes, well, I think you were going to talk a little bit more about this vision of your husband, the family economy, and coming back to the home and working together. How does that really work out? And how does it work out with you and your husband together?
Becca: Yes, well, the Lord is gracious. He’s just always working on my heart. I started to realize that all of homemaking, the home that He cares about the very most, is my heart. He’s doing work in there. What do you think is below you? What would you rather not do? He’s always working on my attitude, and all those things.
I feel like the land has had its way on our family. I had never done any of these things. I grew up with a house cat in the suburbs, so now that we have all these animals, and we’re butchering on our farm, and all these things. We’re trying to produce our own food.
Nancy: And how many chickens do you butcher?
Becca: We butcher 100 chickens each year.
Nancy: Wooo!
Becca: Yeah. Yeah.
Nancy: That is so great. You’re not going to starve!
Becca: We’re not! We’re not! Actually, it’s amazing! That has become my fast food. It used to be a frozen pizza. Now it’s a frozen chicken into the InstaPot. It’s terrible. It’s not really giving that chicken the best finish it deserves, I think, but it’s a very fast meal. I think that’s so interesting that now home-raised chicken is now my go-to fast food. “Oh, I’ve got to throw something in so that we can eat in a little bit.”
But the land has had its way on us. It’s had its way on our marriage. The world has gender roles and all these things. I remember the first time we baled our field. I was watching my husband. I can’t lift a bale! It’s like 60 pounds. I just don’t have the upper body strength. I can lift one. I’m not going to stand out there all day long in the heat and lift them, and hoist them, and throw them. I can scootch them.
I remember standing out there and thinking, “What that man needs right now is hydration and calories!” It was so physical! It’s such work. I’ve found myself in the kitchen, and I was like, “I’m going to make that switchel that haymakers drink with apple cider vinegar and a little maple syrup.” It’s really good for rehydrating.
Then I started making some potatoes and meat. “You’ve got to eat!” It was so funny, because I realized that the upset of gender roles really is a sign of our modern day, that you can say, “I don’t want to do that.” But if you're working together on a farm, they really divide themselves according to your ability.
Nancy: Exactly. God has created . . .
Becca: There’s really nothing to fight against. He’s just sweating buckets out there, and I was thinking, “I’m so glad my gig is to make the food and the drink!” It felt like that’s exactly where I want to be! Just keeping out there with him on the tractor and handing up more water.
Nancy: That is always the way with farming. They’re out there doing that hard work. The mother is in the kitchen. She’s getting the drinks, not only for her husband, but for all the helpers, and the food. That’s full-time when they’re working out, and baling, and doing all the different things they do on the farm, they’ve got to be constantly fed.
Becca: Totally! Totally! And then you start to realize, too, when it’s animal birthing time. We had one spring where we had 17 goat kids or lambs born within five days, and we’re new to it. If somebody’s seasoned, it’s like, “That’s nothing!” But when you're brand new, that is a lot of births!
We had one that wasn’t going great. It’s early in the morning, and it’s he and I, just husband and wife out there, working together. Massaging the belly, “What can we feel? What do we know?” We’re calling the vet, but the vet is not coming. So then, it’s just him and I together. Finally, it resolved.
The sun hasn’t even come up yet, and we’re in the kitchen. I’m making coffee, and I’m making some eggs because we’re famished. We’re wiped. We’re so tired, and the day hasn’t even begun. It’s like, even at that moment, we are yoked up, we are a team.
I just remember thinking, “This is what we all are wanting in our marriage. It was so silly, because we were sleep-deprived, we were really gross [laughter], and I had never loved him more in my life! Because we were working together as a partnership, as friends, but really dependent on each other. He needed me, and I needed him.
You’ll love this story. The first time we sheared sheep . . . We had a shearer coming on Memorial Day. And lo and behold, the three days before Memorial Day were supposed to hit 99 degrees in Minnesota which is hot! We have these sheep that are in full winter wool, just so big. We think, “They won’t survive until Memorial Day when this guy is coming out!” We’re brand new. We literally went to Tractor Supply, and I got a pair of shears. I don’t know where they came from. We got clippers.
Nancy: You got hand shears!?
Becca: Hand.
Nancy: I don’t believe it!
Becca: [laughter] And we did not . . . Nancy, this is so great . . . did not have electricity in our barn. We put the children to bed. One of us would hold the ewe on her back until we couldn’t feel any of our legs anymore. Then I’d need to switch.
Nancy: So, you put her on her back.
Becca: Oh, Nancy, we knew enough.
Nancy: Normally they shear the sheep . . .
Becca: I know who I’m talking to. [laughter]
Nancy: Their hind legs, and their back is resting against the shearer as they’re standing up.
Becca: We know more now! [laughter]
Nancy: Oh, goodness me!
Becca: You know way more! [laughter] But we were . . .
Nancy: I should just pop in here that I think many of you do know that my father was, in his day, (he’s passed on now) but he was the world’s champion sheep shearer. He designed the way shearing is done today. It’s called “The Bowen Technique.” I was Nancy Bowen. So, he would shear a sheep in about a minute.
Becca: Oh, man!
Nancy: His fastest time was 37 seconds. Can you believe it?
Becca: [gasp] An entire sheep??
Nancy: He was a master shearer. But anyway, carry on with your story.
Becca: OK, well. Now, let’s go to the other end of the spectrum.
Nancy: So, you've got the sheep on his back?
Becca: [laughter] You should know as I’m saying this, I can see all the pictures of Nancy’s father on the back wall behind her right now as we’re talking. This is a riot. So, inch by inch, so scared we’re going to cut the sheep.
Nancy: In the wrong part!
Becca: Oh, for sure! And no confidence, and the sun is setting, and we’re doing this according to the daylight. The first night, we got two sheep on their sides so that they woke up with a Mohawk. That was going to be the next day. Then the next night, we came back and got the third sheep’s sides. We only had three, which was the grace of the Lord. Then we came to get the top of their Mohawks off.
Nancy: What did they look like??
Becca: Oh, like the worst, the worst. You can picture it right now. By the time the sheep shearer showed up three days later, he was like, “What was going on here??”
Nancy: There was probably nothing for him to shear.
Becca: But the sheep were nice and cool, and it was great. I will tell you, I said to my husband, while we’re doing it, we’re laughing, and then we’re not laughing. Then we’re kind of crabby, then we’re tired. Then we’re getting giggles again, the whole gamut of all the emotions.
I said to him, “You know, in all the premarital counseling out there, I do believe that before a couple gets married, they should have to shear a sheep with hand clippers! If you can weather that storm together, you may go walk down the aisle and make your vows!”
But the farm really creates these genuine, we have to have each other. You have to have a partner, and you have to have a vision. What was happening on the farm more and more, and I spoke of this a little earlier, but Rory would go off and isolate and work on his computer all by himself.
It started to really bother him when he realized, “There’s no inheritance I’m going to be able to leave to my children from this in the way of skills or knowledge, or anything. Anything I were to teach them.” He’s pretty averse now to screens anyway. Nobody’s on screens in our house right now, just because he knows their addictive powers and all those things.
At any rate, he would then come back to the family, and we’d be working together, and there was a job for the four-year-old, to go get the eggs. There’s work for every age. He read Kevin Swanson, the one who coined the term, “the family economy.” When he read it, it just lit him up. He said it was like a light bulb turned on and it will never turn off again. Lord, You have so much more in store for the family given to you.
Then he starts reading Allen Carlson and Industrialism. Just the effects that we aren’t even hardly aware of. We’re just living in our place in time. But families used to work together. There used to be productivity. But the family economy, the whole of the economy was under the roof of the home. They were industrious. I think of the founding of the country. There were no shoemakers. Every single household could make their own shoes. This is really interesting, like the cobbler even. Everyone was a cobbler.
He went on a quest, like, “What could I still do with my family?” He started with the founding of the nation and the trades that were around then. Then he followed all of them through the course of time. Which ones are still viable today?
He ranked them, and he ranked them according to, is it something I could do with my family? That was very important to him. Is it something that . . . what is the ease of entry? Do I have to go back to school for eight years or can I just start this up? What do I need to have? Will it withstand a pandemic or economic upheaval? He scored them. He ranked them.
Nancy: Wow! So, what did he . . . What are some of the main ones?
Becca: Well, you’ll love this. Shepherding came in number one because it’s a family, and basically the family farm came in at number one, because there’s work for every age, even the elderly. There is work, and there is a need, and there is a role.
Nancy: Isn’t that interesting? Shepherding. When you think that the two greatest leaders that we read about in the Bible, and perhaps for all time, were both Moses and David. God called them both from tending the sheep. That was their training. He said to them, “I’ve called you from the sheepcote, to lead My people.” That’s the kind of person He wanted. That’s where He trained them.
Becca: Oh, amen. And I would add, how much do you learn by shepherding?
Nancy: Because that’s who we are as mothers. We are shepherdesses. That’s who we are.
Becca: Yes, yes. You watch a good shepherd, and they are calm. Their sheep know their voice. They don’t chase after their sheep to get them to behave. Those sheep come to them when they call. There is so much there that, yes, David and Moses, no doubt the Lord was training them by doing that work of, how do you get this group to follow, to cooperate, to hear your voice?
Nancy: And Moses waited 40 years out there with the sheep. Wow. Isn’t that amazing?
Becca: So, Rory started doing this research on what our family could do together? It was him figuring it out for ourselves. At some point, he said to me, “I think I’m actually writing a book right now.” It became very obvious that, oh yeah, this would be helpful for a lot of families that are waking up and saying, “This isn’t sustainable. This isn’t a great way to live, to have such disunity in a household where you don’t even know Dad’s co-workers.” It’s like there’s a second life that’s always happening.
Nancy: That’s the normal family today, even in the Christian church. Everyone is going their separate ways. Everyone in the family. There are some families, when they wake up in the morning, Dad goes to work, Mom goes to work, every child goes out to school, or to where they’re going. And the whole home is just empty. The place where God planned for us to be and work together.
Becca: And then what is the fruit of that? You have a husband going in this direction, wife going in this direction. Well, you're really only left with irreconcilable differences, because we have no unity. We have nothing that’s drawing. We have no vision of what we are to do together.
The second book is The Family Economy. It’s really a handbook. It’s short. It’s supposed to be one that a husband can read one night, and pass it off, and “Wife, you read it the next night. Then let’s go out and talk about it. Let’s dream a bigger dream. What would God have our family do?”
In the back of it, it’s called “The Family Gift Inventory.” It’s who, and you do it with your whole family. You call a family meeting and pop some popcorn. “Children, we need your help. When you think of Dad, what is he passionate about? What does he love? What really excites him? What are his natural gifts?”
Now we turn the page. “Who is Mom? What gets her so excited? What are her natural gifts?” You make these lists, and “Oh, Mom loves this! And she’s really good with numbers, or details,” or whatever the things are. Then we say, “Do the math. Add them together.”
The thing is, in our culture, you would look at yourself and say, “Oh, we are so different!” You’d feel sorry for yourself, and you’d say, “She is so calculated, and wants to have things on the calendar a month ahead of time. He won’t take a step until he knows how it’s going to end. I am spontaneous, and I am fun, and I . . .” You know.
All of a sudden, you feel like, “Oh, Lord! This is a grace, isn’t it? You gave me Rory, because You knew I need that man. I need him together.” All I’m saying is, in our differences, all of a sudden, added together, we are like one great whole. There is so much more when we’re partnered up. Instead of saying, “We’re so different,” you’d say, “Praise God! We’re so different!” Isn’t that the gift?
Then, we live in a day where it’s never been different. We just think, “I came to this marriage with this degree, and now I need to go to this job to pay these student loans that I still have.”
Nancy: Do you still have some?
Becca: I don’t. I don’t, but I’m saying I did . . .
Nancy: Praise the Lord!
Becca: Yeah, praise the Lord! Huge gratitude to my folks. But yes, that was a total gift, because we didn’t have this kind of vision. But a lot of decisions are made for you before you even walk down the aisle. I would love to do this for people for their premarital counseling, and say, “If God has brought you together, what would He have you do together?” How exciting is that?
Any of you listening, we know we live in a day where it’s been generations that have gotten us to this very segregated place. It may take generations to get out. We’re not saying, “Dad, quit your job, and come home and start whittling, and try to sell your wares.” But try to think, “What could we create? What could we do as a family?” Start working in that direction.
I really think the Lord is ready to bless that family that is on their knees, praying for vision. “Lord, what would You have us to do? You have a better way. What would it be, Lord?” To me, that’s so exciting. We’ve seen it. That’s the other fun thing. We have a front row seat now, where we hear stories, and we see it.
Nancy: Oh, yes. But OK, you're doing it now. But when your husband first got the vision, what did you say? This is very foreign to you.
Becca: Yes, very foreign.
Nancy: How did you cope?
Becca: Very foreign, because I was raised very strong-willed. The Lord had to start, truly, with order in our marriage. You know how He did it? And it’s so gentle and gracious. But I started while we were on the farm and realized the fruit doesn’t lie. You follow the fruit.
So, if you plant a cucumber seed, a cucumber will grow from it, right? I was looking at different relationships and just seeing the fruit of it. Is their lifestyle, is that leading to unity and forward vision? Or is it that leading to separation and division? You can see it very clearly.
Then I was seeing it also in the heart of the woman and the disposition of the woman. I really think that women need control. That turns into fear. It’s a muscle we have to start to relax, because that fear is going to block all the things that the Lord may be doing. So, I started seeing couples where I saw a wife who was behind her husband, encouraging him, saying, “Where are we going, honey? I am with you.”
I think every wife wants to be going somewhere, but I think a lot of times we can mess the whole thing up by our own fears, our own what-ifs, our own concerns. We really drag the man down into no sort of leadership. The Lord had to do that in my heart first. He did it very much through me seeing things and starting to understand. I married this man. God has entrusted him into my care, and the thing that I’m most responsible for in all the world is being his helper, his encourager, his cheerleader.
When I figured that out that I’m not meant to carry this load, I think that’s what happens. You think, “I’d better carry the plan,” and it bogs you down. We are more powerful together now. I have more power in the marriage than I did as a nag! You know how that is? Now we’re a team. We’re a partnership. We bounce everything off of each other, but it’s only because I was able to relax and let him lead. Seeing my job is just to put wind in his sails.
“No, no, no, we’re going there! I believe in this. We’re doing this thing.” The difference in that is so radical. It’s like we’ve had two different marriages, honestly. One was where I was wanting to help run the show all the time, and we’re butting heads, and we’re fighting. What is the fruit of that? It’s just a woman who’s really loud and not awesome to be around.
But then there’s the other. That like, I love him, I value him, and I know I’m accountable to the Lord to say, “I built that man up. I loved him so well.” I just follow. There’s real freedom in that, too.
Nancy: That is such a beautiful testimony, Becca. I think that’s so wonderful. You reap what you sow. When you get back into order, it’s interesting. You know that the Greek word for “submission” is from two Greek words. Hupo, which means “to come under,” and then tasso, “to place in an orderly fashion.”
It’s interesting that there is order in it, and it’s God’s order. When we resist it, we get out of order. Of course, I might put in, some people hate that word. I think, many times, it’s because there are husbands who try to push their wife into submission, where there is not one Scripture in the whole of the Bible where it tells a man to get his wife to submit.
No, it speaks to the wives. It’s a voluntary thing. It’s coming under their, not only their leadership, but their protection and provision, and their vision, of course. Their vision, that’s a big one! That’s often what a wife will try to balk at, because oh, she’s scared! But, as we submit to that, come under that, all the examples of “coming under” are so beautiful.
That same word is used of the parable where Jesus talks about this little seed that grows into this big tree, so the birds of the air can come “under” the shade of it (Mark 4:30-32).
It’s the same word that’s used when Jesus was on the Mount of Olives, looking out over Jerusalem. And He said, “Oh, Jerusalem, Jerusalem! How I would have longed for you to come under my wings, as chickens come under the hen” (Matthew 23:27). That beautiful safety and protection.
And then, when it’s talking about the children of Israel going to the desert, and they came “under” the cloud (1 Corinthians 10:1). Every day God put the cloud there so they would not have to get out there in the heat of that desert. He protected them. That’s a beautiful word! But then, OK, then it’s God’s order. It’s so beautiful. And you have seen the fruit of that.
Becca: I want to close with this one story. When I was pregnant with my fifth child, I played the baby moon card. That was like, “Let’s just go for an overnight.” So, we had my parents watching the children and we went to this beautiful part of Minnesota, right on the Mississippi. And we were driving on this road, and there was a truck way up ahead that was going really slow.
We’re on a two-lane road, and we’re just kind of stuck. It’s a little putzy, but it’s a gorgeous day. We’re just on this little vacation anyway. I was looking at the car in front of us. It was a gorgeous SUV with matching pontoon. They were both black with a little shimmer, but very nice. The wife sitting in the front seat had Ray-Bans on, and she had her feet out the window.
Then I looked out the back window, in my rear-view mirror, and I could see there was a motorcycle behind us. It had a husband and wife on this motorcycle. They both had their headsets on, with their helmets. They’re talking to each other, and they’re laughing. They’re doing that thing that motorcyclists do when they get bored, and they start swooping back and forth on the road, because we’re all stuck behind this slow truck.
It was so crystal clear. I looked up at that woman, who I could see in her rear-view mirror. And I thought, “Huh. If I had married that man driving that SUV, I would be a river rat. Every Saturday, I’d pack a picnic, and I’d get the pontoon ready. I’d fold up the towels, and we’d go hit the lake. We’d go spend the day. I’d pack the sparkling water, and I’d make some broccoli salad. That would be my life.”
And I looked in my rear-view mirror, and I saw the motorcycle lady. I thought, “And if I had married that man, I’d have to get some black leather pants or something! And hit the trail. Where are we going? Where are we going on our little . . .” I don’t know motorcycles very well. “On our run? Where are we going this weekend?”
I saw that, and then I looked over, and I saw my husband. I’m pregnant, very pregnant, with our fifth child. The whole minivan is full of car seats behind us. We’re in a rusted-out minivan that smells like goldfishy crackers. I thought, “But I married this man. This is the one that God gave to me. Because I married him, now, I’m milking a goat! I’m living on a farm. And I’m foraging my woods for stinging nettles to make into herbal tea.”
It was such a powerful moment of like, you become “one flesh.” I think a lot of times women fight it. I think, “I’m NOT becoming one flesh! I’m going to continue in my own hopes and dreams and visions.” But what I saw in that moment, so crystal clear, is no, that’s the man that God entrusted you with. It’s not going to look like any other marriage. Not forward, not backward. It’s going to be unique to your unique family. It will be one of a kind.
It’s so much more exciting, and it’s so much more thrilling than anything you could ever ask or imagine in your own limited scope of vision. So, my encouragement of our whole ministry, GATHER AND GROW is our ministry. We have a newsletter. I want to mention that.
Nancy: What do you call it again? GATHER AND GROW?
Becca: Gather and Grow. Gather and Grow. But if you go to the http://www.thegrovestead.com, we have a newsletter that we bring out four times a year. Our children write in it. All of it is an encouragement. It’s an encouragement to live a productive life, and not a consumer . . . to produce more than you're consuming. It’s an encouragement for children to work with their hands. Learn a skill, learn a trade.
Our whole hope in life is to be “yay-sayers,” and not “nay-sayers.” There are so many people who will say, “Oh, don’t do that because you might not succeed.” Risk-averse are all out there. We just want to be encouragers, to say, “Bring the vision back into the roof of your home.”
Nancy: Wonderful, Becca! Say the link for your Gather and Grow again.
Becca: Yes, I think the easiest is to go to https://www.thegrovestead.com.
Our last name is Groves, so we call our farm the Grovestead, like a homestead. But https://www.thegrovestead.com is our website. You can find our newsletter there. You can find Rory’s books. I’m blogging on there still. I love it, just sharing what our family’s up to. We’d love to be connected with other families that feel this stirring in a culture that is not going the direction we feel like.
Let’s go upstream together.
Nancy: Wonderful! That’s been so beautiful to hear, Becca. Thank you! Would you like to pray for the ladies this morning?
Becca: That would be an honor.
“Lord, first of all, I thank You so much for Nancy. I thank You, God, for her bright light, and the way that she is leading so many of us, with her love, and with her truth, and with her grace and her tenderness. But also, Lord, with her very sober spirit, just telling us what’s at stake, and continuing to remind us of what is at stake.
“Lord Jesus, we thank You so much for our children. We thank You that You made us mamas. We thank You for our husbands. God, no matter the state of our marriage right now, You are the Redeemer. You are in the business of making all things new. So, God, I pray for hope to flood the hearts of all listening. I pray for imagination. I pray for a wind of Your Spirit, God, to fill the homes of all who are listening.
“Lord, we thank You for this high calling. We thank You for reminding us of this important work. Keep us very diligent, Lord, in doing our day-to-day, as we make soup, as we make our breakfast, lunch, and dinner, as we train these children in the way they should go.
“We love You, Jesus. In Your Name we pray. Amen.”
Nancy: Amen! Thank you again for being with us.
Becca: What a joy! Thank you.
Blessings from Nancy Campbell
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Transcribed by Darlene Norris
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DON’T FORGET TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT THESE PODCASTS AND TRANSCRIPTS.
“LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell, Above Rubies”
DON’T KEEP THE BLESSINGS TO YOURSELF.
IT IS ENCOURAGING FOR ALL WIVES AND MOTHERS.