Motherhood Bliss!

Before I was married, I didn’t know much about parenting (my own family was abusive), and I knew even less about God. When our son was born, I fell in love with him instantly! Thankfully, I had read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and decided to try nursing, even though I had never seen it done before.

The only real "mothering" experience I had was from babysitting a baby years before. He had been formula-fed and was on a strict schedule, spending most of his time alone. I remembered the awful way he would cry alone in the crib as I waited for him to fall asleep.

Soon every thought of returning to college left my mind as I held, nursed, and carried my baby. I didn’t want to be away from him, and of course, he was happiest right next to me. He came everywhere with me and rarely ever left my arms. All I had to do was nurse him when he was fussy or tired and change him when he needed it. He loved to sleep with my husband and me.

When he was six weeks old I attended my first La Leche League meeting. I learned so much. I read studies that proved doing things naturally, such as breastfeeding on cue, was beneficial to both mom and baby.

I learned that carrying my baby provided him with better social development. I even learned that crib death is less common when babies sleep with their moms, and how doctors believe that the mom’s body acts as a pace-maker for her baby’s immature system. I was fascinated! I also met a wonderful Christian mom at LLL, who began planting seeds about God in my heart.

Two years later, my young son had a night where he couldn’t sleep. I sat up with him as my new baby daughter slept in bed with my husband. Suddenly, I remembered a much neglected Gideon’s Bible that had been given to me years ago. The next few hours flew by as I devoured the precious words.

With my sleeping son by my side, I gave my heart to Jesus Christ. Just a few months later, my husband and I were both baptized in a local lake and started our new life together. God lovingly cared for me, His child, as I lovingly cared for my child.

Now that I knew God, the more I thought about mothering, the more excited I became. I realized the reason natural mothering works so well is because God designed it!

In the same way God designed our bodies to give birth naturally, He designed us to mother naturally. I felt like I had stumbled upon some ancient mystery, and I knew the reason behind all those happy babies and children at the LLL meetings. Whether their parents knew God or not, they were raising their babies according to His design and received the blessings for following His plan!

Isaiah 66:11-13 says, “For you will nurse and be satisfied at her comforting breasts; you will drink deeply and delight in her overflowing abundance. For this is what the LORD says: ‘I will extend peace to her like a river, and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream; you will nurse and be carried on her arm and dandled on her knees. As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.’”

As a new Christian, I would sit with my new baby daughter for hours reading the Bible. I learned that God can use the Bible to teach us, not just with its words, but also by the people within its pages. As a mother, two of my favorite examples are Eve and Mary. Who better to look to as we mother our own children but “The mother of all living” and the mother of Christ himself?

God gave Eve everything she needed to do her job perfectly--breasts to nourish and comfort, arms to hold, a soft body to keep her little one warm at night, a voice to sing and teach, motherly instincts, and a loving heart. She lacked nothing.

I can envision her carrying her baby throughout the day, and the new family sleeping all curled up together at night, just as God intended. A beautiful picture of simplicity and love.

I love to think of Mary. All God does is good. He didn’t only choose a family for Jesus. He also chose a time and culture. God could have decided to send Jesus anytime, even today!

Could you see Jesus as a child in the schools today, riding the bus and playing video games? Or as a baby in His crib with a blankie, Mary hardening her heart as He “cried it out”? God had something much different in mind. He placed His son in a culture where every birth was natural, where moms kept their children close during the day, and where children nursed for years.

Just like Eve, Mary had no clocks for feeding schedules, no bottles, no separate sleeping room for her baby, and no “experts” writing books claiming to have a better way to raise her baby. They listened to the one true Expert, our Lord Himself! I believe both mothers did what came naturally, following their God-given instincts and mothers’ hearts. I am sure they did not harden their hearts to their babies’ cries.

The Bible talks about the peacock who is deprived of wisdom and understanding because she is “hardened against her young ones, as though they were not hers” (Job 36:13-17).

Then there is Jesus Himself. In Luke 6:31 He tells us to “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” In Matthew 18:33, He said, “Shouldest not thou also have compassion on thy fellow servant, even as I had pity on thee?” Jesus wants us to put other’s needs above our own.

In Matthew 25:35-45, He says, “For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing... And the King will say, 'I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!' And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these, my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.'”

Who is the “least of these” more than a helpless baby or child? When He said to give a drink to the thirsty, certainly He includes our own baby, when he or she cries out for it.

God wants us to love our children the same way He loves us, and not forsake them in their time of helplessness. Listen to what the Bible says in Isaiah 49:15, “Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!” . I will have to answer to God someday about how I cared for the “least of these” in my own home when they were in need. I want to be sure I did my best for Him.

We live in a modern world, but this neither changes God’s design nor alters God’s best. God never changes. By mothering this way, I teach my children about God. I show them every moment how God is always available for us, how He does not abandon us when we need Him.

Just as we are dependent on God, God made babies dependent on us. We should seek to live out 1 Thessalonians 2:7, “But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children.”

Natural mothering is filled with all kinds of joy! I love the peace of falling asleep at night with my tiny nursing baby on one side and my husband’s strong arm wrapped around both of us. What better alarm clock in the morning, than a cooing baby who pats your cheek and squeals with delight when you open your eyes and look at him?

There is nothing like having your baby in your arms (or your sling) all day, always in your world, always learning and enjoying your closeness--and you don’t miss a smile or a laugh!

I have given birth eight times so far. I admit that each time I have been afraid of the pain as I tend to have very fast, intense births. With my first four births, I realized I had placed my trust in something different each time.

The first time, I trusted in man’s way which caused only pain and human intervention. All sorts of unnecessary machines and procedures were used.

My second birth came, and this time I was sure I was prepared. I had read all the so-called “right” books, and had all the “knowledge” I needed. I was even at home--and in the water this time! Although it was a beautiful birth, it was only man’s knowledge, and the birth was still extremely painful. We need more than man’s small knowledge to birth and mother!

The third time I was again at home—and in the water. I read a book by a Christian author who said she had the right way to birth, if I would only follow her method. You guessed it. Another good, but very painful birth. This baby was just over ten pounds, a lot to handle for my small frame!

As much as I wanted my fourth baby, I was afraid to go through the pain again. I turned whole-heartedly to the only place I had left. I turned to Jesus and things changed for me. I prayed more for this birth and new baby than any of the others, and depended only on Jesus. It worked!

When I heard my midwife say my baby was out, my first thought was “That was it?” It hurt, of course, but by depending on Jesus, for the first time it was completely and totally bearable and better than it had ever been before!

Like all of our homebirthed babies, he didn’t cry, and was happy, pink and alert. But, unlike our other babies, this little one didn't cry as the days went by. For many, many months, he never had tears in his eyes. Elijah was most joyful baby we had had yet, full of smiles and laughs.

He was in someone’s arms almost every single moment of his life. He bathed in the big tub with me and slept skin-to-skin with me at night. He nursed when he needed to, and napped as I carried him through my day. We were a completely connected pair. I had truly never been happier, nor had a happier baby!

Elijah is six years old now, and is a joy to have. He is kind, loving, and easy-going.  He loves to sit next to me and read me the Bible, and to run and play with his brothers and sisters.

I know some sweet little babies might fuss no matter what we do (which means they need us even more), but I truly believe we mommies have a lot of power in orchestrating our baby's days. I think the closer we are able to come to God's design, the smoother it will go for all of us!

One more thing I want to add is that I noticed that the less cow's milk I drank, the happier my babies were. This might seem like a small thing, but not if you are the one with an unhappy baby!

As Elijah grew, my only daughter Hannah prayed for sisters. God answered her prayer with a "yes" three times (so far!). We were very happy to add Abby, Chloe, and Bella to our family, over the next few years. They were three peaceful little babies, a lot like Elijah--very happy just to be nursed and held close by someone who loved them.

This past spring, we were excited to find out we were going to have our eighth baby.  We chose the name Noah, even before we knew our baby would be a boy.

I was only about 30 weeks along when I started having strong contractions. One thing quickly led to another, and due to my baby being transverse breech, I had my first c-section. My four-pound baby was flown by helicopter to a hospital with a bigger NICU.  

I had only seen Noah for a moment, and had touched his hand with my finger. My wonderful husband, Don, soon went to be with our newest son. As I sat in my dark hospital room that night, recovering from the surgery, and thinking of what my baby was going through so far away, God assured me that our Noah would be home within 40 days.

The next day, Don came to pick me up and take me to the NICU. As we left the hospital parking lot, I asked him if he could adjust my seat to make it more comfortable for my incision. He said the lever had broken, but he could stop and buy a pliers and use that instead. As soon as the words left his mouth, we both saw something blue on the road ahead of us, at a stop sign. He stopped, jumped out, and picked up a pair of blue-handled pliers off of the road!  He adjusted my seat and we were on our way. This was just one of the ways the Lord showed us He was with us.

It was extremely important to us for Noah to be held skin-to-skin as much as possible, even up to 24 hours a day if we could. I knew that was best for him for so many reasons, but even more so because he was in the NICU. He needed to physically feel our love and support. We knew the natural, God-made environment for a baby is his parent's arms, if at all possible. Thankfully the Lord helped us in this, and we held our son for many hours almost every single day.

After a week, our baby was transferred back to the smaller NICU at the hospital where he was born, which was only minutes from our house. God was with us, and on day 39, Noah was released. I remember reading years ago, that Paul was whipped by the Jews 39 times instead of 40, as a sign of mercy. I know 39 days was a sign of God's mercy on us.

Noah is three and a half months old now, and doing wonderfully. Despite what he went through, he is a calm, happy baby. I really believe in staying one step ahead of his simple needs, and making his life as gentle and peaceful as possible. That's what I would want someone to do for me if I were tiny, helpless, and without understanding. All Noah wants is to be held and nursed, so he can feel loved and secure. I thank and praise the Lord for His wise plan, that so often a baby's needs can be easily met by a loving mother.

God’s Word applies to all of life, including our mothering. I believe the New Testament commands on how to treat each other apply to our own babies as much as they do to anyone.

We need to mother with what God gave us--love, our mother’s heart, our biology, our God-given instincts, and our baby’s signals. We need to stop listening to the many voices of the world and start listening to the only voice that matters.  

God’s way is about the heart, the connectedness between moms and babies, rather than rules, so-called experts, and schedules. God’s way is about people, relationships, and love rather than outward things. Babies’ needs haven’t changed since the beginning of time, and neither has God.

AMIE GRAY
PA, USA

Don and Amie have eight children, Brodie (13), Hannah (11), Aden (8), Elijah (6), Abigail (4), Chloe (3), Isabella (1), and Baby Noah (3 months).
Our Family Journal <http://ourlifebygodsgrays.blogspot.com/>