GOD’S IDEA OF DISCIPLINE

We do not have to read other books or seek worldly advice regarding this subject. God has the last word! Even if it is contrary to what everyone else in the world is doing, God's Word is the plumb line. It is the only method that guarantees success! God's method produces children who are godly in character and integrity.

The following are God’s principles with very little comment. We do not need to add to God’s tested and tried methods.

WE HATE OUR CHILDREN, IF WE DO NOT DISCIPLINE THEM

• Proverbs 13:24 NIV, "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.”
• Proverbs 23:13-14, "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."

Hebrews 12:5-8, "Whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom he receives. If ye endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chastens not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons."

It is not enough to love our children. They must be trained and disciplined. I know children that come from beautiful loving families, and yet they have gone astray because love was not combined with discipline. The parents compromised on godly principles because they were afraid of their children’s reactions.

DISCIPLINE DRIVES OUT FOOLISHNESS

• Proverbs 10:1, "A foolish son is the heaviness of his mother."
• Proverbs 17:25, "A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him."
• Proverbs 22:15, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."

DISCIPLINE MUST HURT FOR IT TO BE EFFECTIVE

• Proverbs 19:18, "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."
• Proverbs 20:30 TLB, "Punishment that hurts chases evil from the heart."
• Job 5:18, "For He maketh sore and bindeth up; he woundeth and His hands make whole."

DISCIPLINE WITH A ROD, NOT YOUR HAND

• Proverbs 10:13, "A rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding."
• Proverbs 13:24, "He that spares his rod hates his son: but he that loves him chastens him quickly."
• Proverbs 22:15, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
• Proverbs 23:13-14, "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."
• Proverbs 26:3, “A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool’s back.”
• Proverbs 29:15, "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself brings his mother to shame."

It is wise to have a rod that is kept especially for discipline. Your hands should be kept for loving and caressing. It is confusing for a child to be smacked with the hand and then loved with the hand. Also, if you use your hand for spanking, it is easy to smack with haste and in anger. When you have to get the rod, it gives you time to become calm and discipline in wisdom, not because you want to lash out in frustration, but because it is necessary to train your child in righteousness.

It is amazing how peaceful and happy a child can be after they have received a good spanking. The effect of a spanking that hurts, but which is given in righteous love and wisdom, can last for a long time. Effective discipline does not have to be executed so frequently. It lasts.

God, who is our pattern parent, uses the rod too.

• 2 Samuel 7:14, “I will be his father, and he shall be my son. If he commit iniquity, I will chasten him with the rod of men, and with the stripes of the children of men: but my mercy shall not depart away from him.”
• Psalm 23:4, “Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”
• Psalm 89:31-33, “If they break my statutes, and keep not my commandments; then will I visit their transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with stripes. Nevertheless my lovingkindness will I not utterly take from him, nor suffer my faithfulness to fail.”
• Micah 7:14, “Feed thy people with thy rod.”
• Revelation 2:27, “He shall rule them with a rod of iron.” Revelation 12:5; 19:15; Psalm 2:9.

If God is our Father and we are truly His son or daughter, He will chastise us. A true father and mother will discipline. Some parents do not believe in spanking, but the Word of God says that the rod is a blessing to our children.

It will bring them comfort. Psalm 23:4

It will drive out foolishness. Proverbs 22:15

It will deliver their soul from hell. Proverbs 23:13-14

It will help them grow wise. Proverbs 29:15

TALKING IS NOT ENOUGH

• Proverbs 29:19, "A servant will not be corrected by words: for though he understand he will not answer."
• Proverbs 12:18 MLB, "Some speak rashly like the piercing of a sword.”

It is easy to talk and talk and talk. It is easy to keep telling your child to do something over and over again before he does it. This is lazy mothering. We must speak once, and if the child does not obey, we must discipline. If we cannot train them to obey us, how will they obey their heavenly Father?

Spanking is also a better punishment than groundings or taking certain privileges away from the child. This is a humanistic way of doing things. Some parents say that it is cruel to spank, and they prefer to use other methods. However, these methods are actually more cruel. They linger on well after the incident has taken place, sometimes for weeks. God's way is the best way. When the child disobeys, you spank to teach them that disobedience cannot be tolerated, then you love and embrace the child, and the discipline is over! It is not remembered again.

In most cases, it is also wise to take the child aside and discipline privately. A child will receive the spanking and the discipline in his spirit far more, if it is done privately, than if he is in the company of siblings or other people. When in the company of others, he will put up barriers of pride and the discipline will not be so effective.

NEVER DISCIPLINE IN ANGER

• Proverbs 14:17 MLB, "He who is quick-tempered acts foolishly."
• Proverbs 16:32, "He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty and he that rules his spirit than he that takes a city."
• Ecclesiastes 7:9 TLB, "Do not be quick-tempered - that is being a fool."
• James 1:19-20, "Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God."

If your child has aroused your temper, wait until your anger has dissipated before you apply discipline. Godly discipline and spanking will only bring blessing to a child. It is when you spank in anger, that you can hurt a child.

ALWAYS DISCIPLINE IN LOVE

• Psalm 89:31-33, "If they break My statutes and keep not my commandments. Then will I visit their transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with stripes. Nevertheless My lovingkindness will I not utterly take from him, nor suffer my faithfulness to fail."

Proverbs 3:11-12, "My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of His correction: For whom the Lord loves he corrects; even as a father the son in whom he delights."

Revelation 3:19, "As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten."

DISCIPLINE IMMEDIATELY

Ecclesiastes 8:11, "Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is full set in them to do evil."

• Proverbs 13:24 TLB, “If you love your son you will be prompt to punish him.”

Do not say, “Wait until your father gets home!” The father should do the discipline when he is home, but when he is not around, the mother needs to execute the discipline immediately.

BE CONSISTENT WITH YOUR DISCIPLINE

• Proverbs 29:15, "A child left to himself brings his mother to shame."

It is confusing to a child for you to discipline for something one day and overlook it the next day. Consistency is the most important thing in discipline. If you are not consistent your children will lose respect for you, and they will require more and more discipline. If you are consistent, they will know their boundaries and give up trying to push their limits.

DISCIPLINE RESULTS IN A HAPPY CHILD

• Job 5:17-18, "Happy is the man whom God corrects: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty."
• Job 36:10-12, "He opens also their ear to discipline, and commands that they return from iniquity. If they obey and serve Him, they shall spend their days in prosperity, and their years in pleasures."
• Psalm 94:12, "Blessed is the man whom Thou chastenest, O Lord."
• Psalm 119:67,71, "Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word. It is good for me that I have been afflicted: that I might learn thy statutes."
• Lamentations 3:27 TLB, "It is good for a young man to be under discipline."
• Hebrews 12:11 TLB, "Being punished isn't enjoyable while it is happening - it hurts! But afterwards we can see the result, a quiet growth in grace and character."

DISCIPLINE RESULTS IN HAPPY PARENTS

• Proverbs 29:17, "Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul."

I think this Scripture is one of the loveliest promises to mothers! But notice that we receive the reward of delight because of discipline. A disciplined child will delight his parents; a child left to himself will bring them to shame. Our daughter, Evangeline and her husband, have 10 children. I have never observed a mother who has such an easy life. Her children are so well trained that she leads a restful life. Every day is a joy. This should be the testimony of mothering.

Nancy Campbell

www.aboverubies.org